Harold W wrote:
> I've recently met a 40 yr old(very close to my age) who is a very
nice
> person.   She asked me if I desired children.  I responded that I had
a
> desire when younger, but as I have aged, I've become set in my ways
and
> children are not on my radar screen.  She responded with some garbage
like
> "oh I wasn't planning on children either, but when my niece was born,
I
> changed my mind as she is such a sweet girl"    Basically, I was
politely
> trying to tell her we are really too old to have children.  Well not
me, but
> she certainly is.  I certainly would not marry her unless I knew her
for at
> least a year or two.  That would put her at age 42.  Probably take
her a
> year to get pregneant(if she still can)...By the time she pops a
child out
> she will be in her mid-40's.  Not an attractive proposition for me.
> Anyways, she is a sweet girl and I would like to know how I should
tell her
> in a polite tactful fashion "If you want kids, look elsewhere because
I am
> running."

"Listen (insert woman's name here), I really enjoy spending time with
you, but I have to be honest with you and tell you I do not want to
have children. In fact, I'm so sure about it, that I've (pick one)
gotten a vasectomy/given up sex/insist upon condoms+spermicidal foam.
Why don't I want to have kids? (State reasons.)"

If she's someone you're interested in possibly sharing your life with,
what harm can there be in telling her in no uncertain terms exactly
what you think? She'll either deal with it or not, but in any case,
it's better to find out now rather than sometime down the road.



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