In article ,
 "Heidi Graw"  wrote:

> > wrote in message
> >news:1107459855.647577.276880{at}f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> (snip)
>
> >>Heidi wrote:
> >> I only hand out respect to those who deserve it.
>
> > Mark wrote:
> > A meritocracy!
>
> Exactly.  ;-)

"Two go in!  One come out!  Two go in!  One come out!"

On the one hand, it sounds very egalitarian but on the other,
rather brutal.

> > Mark wrote:
> > I remember you mentioning you hold open doors for old
> > and disabled men.  Do you do this because you
> > pity and lack respect for them?
>
> I don't open the doors because I pity them.  I open the doors because I
> recognize they need help.

As I said, this is minimal courtesy.

How about just opening doors just to be nice?  Or to
make people feel part of a community?  Or even to show
them respect and appreciation?

My wife's father just turned 70 and as a coach he can
outrace me.  But I still hold open his door.

> I can respect these particular men for what they
> are and I can recognize a need without waiting for these ones to ask me to
> hold the door open for them.  It would never occur to me to insult these men
> by waiting until they humble themselves to ask me for help.  These elderly
> folks do have pride!
>
> Heidi

I'm sure this isn't accurate, but it could be inferred, from
what you're saying, that you don't hold open these people's
doors because you pity them but instead because you don't
want to be seen as a jerk.  (covering your own butt.)

Your reasoning appears to be that you hold the doors for
the elderly because you assume elderly automatically have
trouble and "need" the doors held for them.

I know I'm twisting things around, but you get the point.
Just as helping people in need isn't necessarily condescending,
neither is pity all that bad either.  Pity is what seperates
humans from the animals and that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

regards,
Mark Sobolewski


--- UseNet To RIME Gateway {at} 2/3/05 10:19:04 PM ---