Jesus is said to have said that, if you've looked at a woman with
lust,
you have already committed adultery with her in your heart.

My response: So be it. I have committed adultery in my heart with many
women, and I do not feel in the least bit sorry about it.

For that matter, I have committed actual adultery a number of times. I
do not feel the least bit sorry about that either, because those women
were in the middle of leaving their husbands or had left their husbands
already - and having relationship with me gave them the reassurance of
their beauty and romantic prospects, and the emotional support they
needed to get out of bad situations and get what they actually wanted
in life. And that is not remotely sinful; rather that is a part of
loving one's neighbor and helping her to get out of a bad place and
find her way to a good place.

I believe that sex, except of course in cases of rape or incest or
pedophilia, is a consensual act. Thus, the responsibility is borne by
both parties equally. The people in places like Nigeria who stone the
woman who has had sex outside of marriage but let the man go free, are
utter bastards. I take responsibility for every relationship I've
ever
been in, and if I have to answer for that to whoever then I will do so
with my head held up high.

The people who accuse me of being an exploiter of women are ugly people
who project their ugliness on everything that moves. That, indeed, is
the problem with Bob, David and just about everyone who think the way
they do. Themselves serial adulterers and, in many cases, pedophiles
and pederasts and even prostitutes, these people seek someone to bear
the burden of their sins and their ugliness. To them, any relationship
that has love and caring is suspect, while dirty sex - guilty sex -
hideous sex - hurtful sex - exploitative and unnatural sex - is a part
of being a man.

An exploiter is someone who does not care about his women. I care
deeply about every woman with whom I've had a relationship, whether
it
involved sexual exchanges or not. Some of my most beautiful
relationships did not involve sexual exchanges; others did. And even in
the single case where I paid a woman to have sex with me, it was
because she was wearing a perfume that was worn by my ex-girlfriend
MLR, whom I had deeply loved and still do. It stands to reason that,
because I richly compensated that woman monetarily, there was no one-
sidedness or immorality to that exchange; and while I of course did not
have romantic feelings for her personally I gave her what she was after
in response to the sentimental service that she provided me. That, I
regard in no way different from buying a painting or paying for someone
to play piano and sing a song.

I repeat. I care about my women. That, to me, takes away the moral
burden of Christian beliefs on that issue and makes the relationships a
beautiful thing rather than a sin. Sex for status - sex for hurting
people - sex for dehumanization and degradation - sex for boasting to
boys in the locker room - is indeed as vile a sin as the Bible claims
"fornication" to be. But sex in a loving, caring relationship, I hold
to be in no respect sinful. And I will defend that position before
anyone, including God.

Ilya Shambat



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