cv wrote:
> Would you similarly say that women do housework and childcare by
choice?
> And that the question "Well, if a man doesn't do it, who will?" is
> similarly void because of no women did it, men would do it?

First of all (and this isn't necessarily to you, cv, just a general
disclaimer) I'm going to speak anecdotally here, and you won't find a
citation to save your life. If that troubles anyone, that's your
problem, not mine. If you don't want to hear my little stories, don't
read them - your choice. If you want to read them and complain because
they're not what you wanted, I wish I could say I was sorry about that.


In any situation, a person - man or woman - has a choice of what
they're going to do. They may not always like your options, but there
is no situation in which a person doesn't choose their actions, even if
all the choice they get is how to react to the situation they're in.

If men didn't build bridges and all the other wonderful things they
build, then I guess women would either learn how to build them or learn
how to live without them. If women didn't care for children and do
housework, then I guess men would either do it or not, their choice.
I'm not entirely sure what you're wanting to discuss here, actually. It
seems pretty cut and dried to me. I do childcare and housework because
it's my choice to do so, my sister works on oil rigs and puts stucco on
houses because it's her choice to do so. And how wonderful it is that
we have the opportunity to make those choices with such freedom.

You'd never catch me stuccoing (sp?) a house, because I haven't the
faintest interest in it. My sister has roofed houses too but when it
came time to roof ours, you can bet my ass wasn't up on the roof in the
hot Texas sun - my husband and his friends did it.

I stayed in the house, watched the kids, and made meals and
refreshments for the guys working on the roof. No one seemed to think
anyone else was getting some kind of a free ride. We all did what we
wanted to, because if we didn't want to do it, we wouldn't. People are
essentially selfish (and I don't mean that in a bad way) and if they're
doing something, even and especially if it requires effort, they are
getting something out of it.

In my husband's case, it was the thrill of accomplishment - proving his
competence and manhood in one of the many ways he does. In my case, it
was _not_ doing something I have neither skill nor interest in, and
getting to thank him and the guys with lovely lunches and coffee and
desserts throughout the day. Both of us got a new roof over our heads
to keep the rain out. Our friends got companionship, the good feeling
that comes from helping a friend, a sense of accomplishment, meals and
beer, and so on.

So I don't build bridges. Does this somehow make me less productive
than a person who does? Less productive in bridge-building, I guess,
but bridge-building isn't the only way in which people can contribute
their talents and skill to their families and communities. When men and
women stop trying to one-up each other and realize we all bring value
to the world, a lot of this nonsense will stop.



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