The Transcript of the Gender Wars

Women: After thousands of years, technology is changing my role. I no
    longer have to spend the whole day stoking the fire, spinning
    cloth, baking bread, skinning and curing meats, grinding grain,
    and so on. And thanks to increasing public schooling, the kids are
    gone during the day. I have free time!
Men: You're welcome.

Women: Maybe one day, your role will change and you'll be freed as
    well.
Men: Maybe.

Women: My life has become easier, and my lifespan is no longer shorter
    than yours. In fact, it's longer now.
Men: You're welcome.

Women: Women as a class now have time to consider themselves. Isn't
    that wonderful? I'm going to a meeting.
Men: Maybe our role too will change one day, and we'll have time for
    that as well.

Women: Do you know what Elizabeth Cady Stanton said? She said,
    "We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men."
Men: Hogwash.

Women: Votes for Women!
Men: No!

Women: Yes!
Men: OK.

Women: Now it's been years since we got the vote. We need more
    liberation. I'm burning my bra.
Men: Is that women's lib or women's lip?

Women: Wasn't it Gloria Steinem that said, "A woman needs a man
    like a fish needs a bicycle"? We womyn agree with that.
Men: Maybe, but....

Women: We can't achieve equality until there's been a generation of
    affirmative action at the very least. That's not discrimination,
    that's equality.
Men: Hm.

Women: I think it's really funny that you can no longer congregate
    with your own sex, but I can with mine. Men's clubs are illegal,
    subject to lawsuit, or boycotted, but women's clubs are  protected
    by law and encouraged. Did you know that women's-only health clubs
    are legal by federal law and men's-only are not? See you at the
    Women's Community Building. And thanks for the taxes.
Men: Say....

Women: Better be careful how you look at me, that could be sexual
    harassment. I can sue you. You'll lose your job, your home, your
    family. That kind of threat, as sanctioned by law, has a chilling
    effect, doesn't it?
Men:

Women: And we have anti-stalking laws now. If you get too close, I can
    sue you. You'll lose your job, your home, your family.
Men:

Women: Now that we've brought about no-fault divorce, I see that more
    than 75% of divorces are initiated by the woman. Do you think
    that's because she gets the house, car, one third to one half his
    income, plus child support more or less automatically?
Men:

Women: The fact that women get the child in nearly 90% of contested
    custody cases isn't really good enough, it should be higher. Don't
    complain--I'll accuse you of abuse; you'll lose your job, your
    home, your family.
Men:

Women: And don't talk back to me loudly. That's legally defined as
    abuse in many states now, didn't you know that? All I have to do
    is to call the police. With mandatory arrest laws, you're going to
    jail. Who do you think the courts would believe, if it came to
    that? You'll lose your job, your home, your family.
Men:

Women: Sure there are thousands of false rape accusations where
    nothing happens to the woman who lied and destroyed the man's
    life, but so what? I hear that Catherine Comins says, "Men who are
    unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience."
Men:

Women: You're more than 20 times as likely to get the death penalty
    for the same crime as I am, isn't that interesting?
Men:

Women: I'm 66% more likely to get probation for the same crime. And
    you'll get 47% more jail time, on average, if we are sent to jail.
Men:

Women: Did you know that in a lot of states, you'll get a much longer
    prison term if you attack me and we're married than if you're a
    stranger?
Men:

Women: Hm, it's really amazing how the male prison population has
    soared--do you think males no longer fit into society?
Men:

Women: But after all, didn't Germaine Greer say, "Probably the only
    place where a man can feel really secure is in a maximum security
    prison, except for the imminent threat of release."?
Men:

Women: The fact that the draft laws are only for men, and only men
    have to register, doesn't matter. There is no draft now.
Men:

Women: Bobbitt! Yeeeeehah! Hahahahahaha!!! Women rule!
Men:

Women: Men die earlier from all eight major causes of death. Yet
    there's never been a federal study as to why. Isn't that funny?
    But there's an office of Women's Health. None for men yet, maybe
    one day.
Men:

Women: I'm going to that free breast cancer screening provided by the
    state. I didn't see anything about prostate cancer, though. I hear
    that breast cancer gets 14 times as much federal funding as
    prostate cancer does. Prostate cancer must be pretty unimportant,
    huh?
Men:

Women: Why is it that it's illegal to charge women, who have more
    accidents, higher premiums, but legal to charge men, who die
    sooner, higher premiums for life insurance?
Men:

Women: And what about social security? Don't you think it's funny that
    men pay so much more into it, but only get six years of retirement
    benefits on average, compared to a woman's fourteen? Doesn't that
    amount to a massive tax and money transfer from men to women? I
    guess men are OK with that.
Men:

Women: We sure are using Title IX to cut into men's sports, aren't we?
    I guess men just don't want to reciprocate and demand equal
    programs in other areas--I mean, the idea of a "men's studies"
    major is just funny, huh?
Men:

Women: And was that a men's-only college you were thinking of
    attending? I think not! There are almost none left. Dozens of
    women's-only colleges available, though.
Men:

Women: Why is it that when a man commits a crime, he goes to jail, but
    when a woman does, the media tries to figure out what man made her
    do it, and she goes to counseling?
Men:

Women: Come to think of it, why do you think that there are so many
    women's shelters, but virtually none for men? Thanks for the
    taxes, by the way.
Men:

Women: Wasn't it Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor, who said, "I feel
    that 'man-hating' is an honorable and viable political act."?
Men:

Women: And why is it that women can hit men in the movies, even knock
    them unconscious, but men can't hit back? Funny how there's so
    much attention on kicking men in the groin in movies and TV now.
    Sure is a big joke.
Men:

Women: What about TV ads? Did you read that study that said 97% of the
    "mini-battles" in TV ads are won by women?
Men:

Women: For that matter, why are women always "women" in the media, and
    men so often "males"? Many places don't even use
"female" as an
    adjective anymore--ask a woman doctor or woman lawyer. And did you
    notice that the generic pronoun in hundreds of magazines and
    articles is now "she"?
Men:

Women: And why is it that men are made out to look like incompetent
    idiots nearly all the time on TV? And that's not just ads--that's
    regular programming.
Men:

Women: Women have five cable channels, how many do men have? Women
    rule.
Men:

Women: Funny how the media buys into studies, like the Superbowl
    domestic violence thing, without checking it out. And how they
    keep reprinting it year after year--even though it was disproved
    the same year it came out. Did you know that three out of five
    women are raped before they're 21? I read it in the paper.
Men:

Women: So why, according to the networks, are men watching less and
    less TV, anyway? Must be video games, I guess.
Men:

Women: Say, I head that Jilly Cooper of SCUM said, "The male is a
    domestic animal which, if treated with firmness...can be trained
    to do most things." Is that true?
Men:

Women: How about that Violence Against Women act? It's created an
    entire industry of lawyers, social workers, and counselors. Funny
    that men never objected to this kind of law that is
    gender-specific, that only protects women. Yes, it's skewed the
    idea of justice and created kangaroo courts, and yes, it's based
    on the idea that women must receive special protection from men
    and privileges from the government. But it makes up for 2,000
    years of wrongs. Of course, you weren't alive then.
Men:

Women: I hear that Andrea Dworkin said, "I want to see a man beaten to
    a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple
    in the mouth of a pig." Sounds like a good idea.
Men:

Women: And did you read that study that up to one-third of fathers
    aren't really the child's father? I guess we put one over on you
    there. Of course, if the man finds out that he isn't really the
    father, he still has to pay child support--after all, what's most
    important is the child. For that reason, feminists are working to
    make it illegal to test the genetics of children without the
    mother's consent.
Men:

Women: And no, I don't have to give you any visitation. The mother is
    the primary parent anyway.
Men:

Women: Wasn't it Sally Miller Gearhart, in The Future - If There Is
    One - Is Female, who said, "The proportion of men must be reduced
    to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race."?
Men:

Women: Funny how women have a choice when it comes to abortion,
    raising a kid, and/or giving it up for adoption, but men have
    none.
Men:

Women: In fact, women have lots more choices these days. They can
    choose to take easier jobs, come to those jobs with less
    experience, less relevant education, work fewer hours, refuse to
    relocate, take longer than men for the same tasks, and demand time
    off for family time.
Men:

Women: By the way, did you see that the average woman only earns 74
    cents compared to the average man's dollar? It seems that would be
    the result of women's choices, but that's not right. It's because
    of discrimination. USA Today even says that's women's primary
    concern in life--the wage gap. Which is caused by discrimination.
Men:

Women: Political correctness sure is making its mark on TV, in books,
    magazines, and newspapers. That'll teach you men to stop being
    such aggressors. I hear that men account for less than one third
    of all purchases in bookstores now, and the number is dropping
    like a stone.
Men:

Women: Of course, I shouldn't be surprised that men read less, they're
    stupid compared to women. The media will tell you that. And so
    will science--isn't it interesting how science is proving over and
    over that what you do is because of caveman impulses and
    evolution, while what women do is because of free and powerful
    choice? You can read about it in the paper.
Men:

Women: Political correctness in school is having a positive effect
    too. Of high school students who go on to college, only 45% are
    male, 55% female. In some places, it's only 40% male now. Men are
    being encouraged to focus on sports, not scholarship. A generation
    ago, it was get good grades. Now, it's get good scores. I mean,
    shouldn't men be fixing cars instead of looking for white collar
    jobs anyway?
Men:

Women: Don't you think that's men's future? Women will go to school
    and be lauded, and men will focus on the physical as they should
    so they can fix cars and dump the trash. After all, they're stupid
    and intractable in school, so many female teachers (are there any
    male teachers left? Aren't they pederasts?) will tell you that.
    They should just take their drugs and be quiet. Fewer and fewer
    boys will go to college. Of course, the women are the real
    losers--white collar executives won't want to marry plumbers. Once
    again, men cause women grief.
Men:

Women: You men do seem to be retreating from everything
    mainstream--school, church, public life. Sure, you restrict
    yourself to the areas you're allowed to have--I hear that football
    attendance is up nearly three times over thirty years ago. But
    that's just part of your plan--because you're men, you don't need
    to work as hard as we do. You have it made.
Men:

Women: When you think of it, the triumph of female values sure has
    made this culture inward-looking, safety-obsessed, and
    child-fixated hasn't it? Is that what's meant by decadence?
Men:

Women: Why don't you say anything?
Men:



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