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From: "Ernest Behnke" 
Newsgroups: fidonet.science
References:  
Subject: Re: Tacky joke, anyone ?
Lines: 96
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Date: Sun, 20 Nov 2005 17:15:19 GMT
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 20 Nov 2005 17:15:19 GMT)
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     The world's finest minds came together to discuss the unifying theory.
Based on speed, time is the ultimate dimension that was resolved by the
physicist who stated, "Light ... is the fastest entity, because nothing is
faster than the speed of light."
     The philosopher interrupted arguing, "Ne, thought is faster than light.
I can thank about being on the sun at this instant, but it takes light some
time to travel the 150 million kilometers."
    "Wrong!," Jonnie said.  "It's ExLax -- its faster than you think."








 wrote in message
news:1130388152@f133.n167.z1.ftn...
> "Herman Trivilino" bravely wrote to "Miles Maxted" (26 Oct 05  18:13:33)
>  --- on the heady topic of "Tacky joke, anyone ?"
>
>  >> Heard at a New Year's Eve party:
>  >>
>  >> Q: What is the definition of a tachyon?
>  >>
>  >> A: It's a gluon that's not completely dry.
>
>  HT> Two atoms are sitting at a bar.  One says to the other, "I lost an
>  HT> electron".
>  HT> "You lost an electron!  Are you sure?"
>
>  HT> "I'm positive."
>
>
> A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Gimme a Mexican beer."
> Instead of handing him a beer, though, the bartender starts shouting
"Okay,
> everybody out!  Right now!  Out you go!" and herds everyone out into the
> street.  The solar physicist shakes his head sadly.  "Dang," he remarks,
> "should've seen that Corona mass ejection coming."
>
>
> This solar physicist walks into a bar and says the the bartender,
> "I'd prefer a cold Corona."
>
>
> Living On Earth May Be Expensive, But It Includes A Free Annual Trip
Around
> the Sun.
>
>
> There once was a girl named Irene
> Who lived on distilled kerosene
> But she started absorbin'
> A new hydrocarbon
> And since then has never benzene.
>
>
> "They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the
Wright
> brothers.  But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." -- Carl Sagan
>
>
>  WHAT IS TIME
> Time is absolute                       Isaac Newton
> Time is relative                       Albert Einstein
> Time is the 4-th dimension             Hermann Minkowski
> Time is conjugate to energy            Werner Heisenberg
> Time squared is length cubed           Johannes Kepler
> Time is another manifestation of mass  Alexander Abian
> Time is inverse of frequency           Heinrich Herz
> Root locus in the time-plane           Routh Hurwitz
> Time is money                          Bertrand Russel
> Peace for our time                     Neville Chamberlain in 1938
> How the time flies -- its almost noon  Charles Bronson to Henry Fonda
> Once upon a time                       In a fairy tale, in the West
> Time is on my side                     Mick Jagger
> Time to remember                       Come September
> Time schedules                         Railway Station
> Time is my newspaper                   Sir Murdoch
> You only have the present time         Sun Dial
> I never have time to read books        Francois Sagan
> Time will open all wounds              Strange Comfort
>
>
> Googolplex bottles of beer on the wall,
> Googolplex bottles of beer;
> Take one down, pass it around,
> Um...ah.......oops.
>
>
>  M*i*k*e
>
> .. 6.02 * 103 bottles of beer on the wall...