G'morning Heather Lennox, 

 HL>>> But I heard you were feeling fruity...
 MM>> Madam, these fishnets still have herrings in 'em..
 HL>> And the ladder in them is for "scale"-ing?
 MM> Very finny ... but I use a cherry-picker for reaching up 'em,
 MM> or just the elevator when trawling around.
 HL> Ah... these fish puns are a bad halibut of mine.

But the good oil is that they rank high on the scale of sommat or 
t'other !

 HL> Ah... Frontal lobotomy!!! That means you must be at Sysop
 HL> status. ;-)))

I fear my forehead is just a holy colander of its former self - 
when I stick fingers in a power-socket I look like one of those 
ornamental candle thingies that cannibals illuminate their dining 
tables with...

 HL> It depends on whether one is using an American dictionary or an English
 HL> dictionary.

I don't speak American, eck-tually - and I have bad memories of 
being de-frocked as a head shrinker south of Cook Straits for not 
going `straight' on language abuse...

`Strait' gets its etymological whakapapa from the OF estreit or 
the OL strictus, the past participle of OL stringo, meaning to 
draw tight,  they noted in their judgement.  Hence `strait-laced', 
`strait-jacket' or `strait-waistcoast'...

`Straight', blast - the other hand's still cuffed, comes from the 
OE streeche or streke - and/or the Anglo-Saxon streccan,  meaning 
to stretch, to pass from one point to another by the shortest 
path, not curved, bent or crooked...

Sorry about all that,  but if I don't get my roots settled just 
right I find I'm up all night fighting off Mrs Malaprop and her 
very quirky outcomes...

 HL>> That's definitely not me. I go "zzzzzzz" in the night.
 MM> That's much better than my nocturnal callings...
 HL> You go "wee" in the night?

So much so that they feed me viagra (this is no spam) to stop me 
rolling off the bed in the small hours...

 HL>  - And in a strange turn of events, the Cat became King...

Not a word about that to the felines here - they have Godly 
ambitions enough...

:-(

 
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