Ruben,

RF>No problem, I understand there more important things in life that this
RF>hobby.

  That is for sure. Between the move from my apartment back to my Mom's
home, then putting my Mom into a nursing home, and dealing with the
finances with that, along with computer/internet issues, I've had more
stress than I can handle. I've been on the verge of a breakdown for
weeks now.

RF>I will say a prayer for all of you.  Just remember your faith and that
RF>this is only a shell we occupy for a short time and that our soul belongs
RF>to God and he wants us to enjoy our eternity with Him.  Your mom will
RF>receive the peace she so much deserves.  Place all your strength in Him to
RF>see you through this difficult time.  I have lost a parent also and
RF>understand where you are at.

  At times, I've felt like I've been abandoned. My brother can't even
balance his own checkbook, so all the finances with getting my Mom into
a nursing home (including cashing in a bunch of things, and dealing with
some financial penalties for poorly documented purchases)...plus the
move back home, I've been ready to snap for weeks.

  In Arkansas, the average cost per month of a nursing home is $5500 for
a semi-private room, and $7500 for a private room. To qualify for
Medicaid, if you get too much in retirement, pensions, disability, etc.,
they basically have to make you bankrupt. I'm going to end up paying the
tax (personal property, plus state and federal income) on the money for
my Mom, my brother and myself.

  In short, she'll be bankrupt (I doubt she'll ever come back home), my
brother will get his money, and what I get will have to pay the bills
and the taxes, and I basically just get my Mom's house, her car, and my
possessions. I was hoping to get to take "one big trip" to Florida next
February as a "reward" for all the stress I've been under...a trip I had
sacrificed/cancelled 2 years ago, when my Mom had her pacemaker put it.
But, it looks like he'll get his money, but my Mom and I basically get
nothing. I told my brother that "when it's gone, it's gone, so don't
blow it".

  So many times on Earth, I took the job that no one else wanted; which
was usually the dirtiest (cleaning, etc.). So, I feel that at the Bema
Judgment, that I'm going to tell The Lord that "You deserve these
rewards and crowns much more than I do, as You alone are worthy of the
Praise". Because I am so unworthy (I feel worse than the prophet Isaiah,
who said "I am a man of unclean lips"), I feel like I should get the
position just above "the least in the kingdom of Heaven", with the task,
position, and rank, that no one else wants. The Lord may have something
better, and recompense me at "the resurrection of the just", but that's
the least of my concerns right now.

Daryl

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