On Wed, 30 Apr 2003 13:20:49 -0500 Shalanna  writes:

> Being "legitimately" published seems so vital because it's the final 
> link   in the
> "connection."  Franzen's article (in which he explains all this much 
> more   clearly)
> is in his book of essays _How to Be Alone_, as "Why Bother?"  (God 
> knows I   ask that all the time.)

Believe me, I *do* hear you. 
[The life I lived inside my head, populated with books and my
imagination, were WAY too much my peer group in the formative years; and
likely remain so.]
But, and this is *my* mental exercise/suss myself out/pick the next life
track project (especially when something's not working): what are you
trying to connect TO?

It's like high school. We "dream" of being the "in"
crowd on the one hand
-- or at least not the lone oddball -- but upon examination, it's a
connection/conversation that we really don't want. At least not with
THEM. [Talk about your next to nothing in common....]

You, Shalanna, say bending yourself to genre fiction is a struggle.
MIGHT there be a message from yourself there?

Of COURSE we want "conversation"/"connection" and so forth.
But to attempt to hitch ourselves to the wrong train; or
"connect"/"converse" at the wrong party....

Do you see what I'm saying?

To force oneself into a mold, unless possessed of the gift for (or
satisfaction in) Chameleon, is a great way to start writing around in
circles.
The writing comes out forced, the author lacks the "feel" for where
things want to go, where the balance points lie. You may get published,
but you feel merely adequate. There's little resonance -- it's a job (as
opposed to a career, to a life...).

Sure, you can analyze the heck out of something, but can you really say
WHY it works? 
Cooking is all chemicals and physics -- so how can the same recipe turn
out so differently for different cooks?

While there's genre formula, and many people do just fine writing from
the outside in, but this doesn't sound like your mode.

So don't force yourself into the preconceptioned formulas; don't do this
or that because so and so said so or this is how these authors did it.
[And don't think I don't Understand -- I've got that particular hitch
going on several creative fronts, from words to art ... I've abandoned
music and theatre for the time being.] 

As has been said here many times:
Turn your formidable talents loose on what you WANT to write, not what
you think you ought to be writing.
Search for Resonance.
THEN, when the dust settles, see where it might fit.

[Like Wayne Theibaud said: "If you want to paint flowers, then, goddamn
it, paint FLOWERS; and be the best goddamned flower painter you can be!"
(He did NOT say you'd end up on the cover of Artist magazine, however.)
And if you're like me, you spend as much time wailing, "but I don't
*KNOW* what I want!" as you do actually doing something... yeah, I'm a
cracked pot, too.]

That, anyway, is the cusp of MY romantic notions re: writing for myself.
I tell the story I "need" to tell, and to hell with others' conceptions
of what OUGHT to be there (genre/formulaicly).
Sure, you require "proof" readers; feedback is required (except for the
RARE writer) to make sure you're comprehensible, and to judge how close
you are to target (and to catch the errors).
But the TALE is the thing. [My writing for self being essentially a
selfish exercise in entertaining myself. Because, if it were all about
publishing and money, I'd stick to writing for hire.... hmm, which I seem
to be doing. So, I must make peace with that -- for the moment anyway
(and, essentially have -- save for mutterings about certain high
maintenance clients).]

So, unless I want writing to be a JOB (and right now and for the past
 years that is/has been so, meaning I know the view from both
sides of the fence (good thing I find joy in assembling words, nearly
irregardless of subject)), pleasing my muse, singing the song that wants
to fly from my writerly soul is the goal. [Someday I'll let her out of
the back brain again, eh? Well, I keep telling her that.]

Of course, this approach makes for a dicey publishing record, obviously.

There are never, ever, guarantees. 

But I worry when I see the climb seem to cripple people. It's not worth
the anguish, imho. 
And it's true, what we get in here isn't a whole picture; to draw
far-reaching conclusions is ill advised (though it doesn't stop us). 
Heaven knows what odd ideas folks get from my rants. 

So, write the Chick book. Revel in finding your voice.... 

Who knows where it will lead -- so enjoy the journey.

I think I'll just put this pulpit back in the closet now. Sorry.

=hugs=

-B

====
It is amazing how frequently we march off to battle without knowing what
the war is all about. --Harriet Goldhor Lerner; "The Dance of Anger"
====
Of course, most of us secretly believe that we have the corner on the
"truth" and that this would be a much better world if everyone else
believed and reacted exactly as we do. --Harriet Goldhor Lerner; "The
Dance of Anger"

--- Rachel's Little NET2FIDO Gate v 0.9.9.8 Alpha