> > If you could tell me some of the things that irked you the most
> > about being
> > shoved into a new company when the one you were working for was
> > sold, it
> > would help me to avoid making the same mistakes with the people in
> > the companies we're aquiring.
>
> Remembering that Fran (?) gave you initial instruction in certain tasks
> is helpful (as you well know, there's nothing more irking than the person
> YOU trained telling YOU how to do your job).

Exactly. Although I'll oversee her, I have to make sure everyone knows she's
more qualified and experienced with conveyance than I am, I'm just the
administrator, not doing the actual conveyances. I can't tell her how to do
her job, but only how to fit her job into the new structure - and that comes
close enough to be tricky

> Finding out what individuals' responsibilities under the old structure
> were is important. As you point out, they're feeling like chattel.
> Treating them again like meaningful individuals with skill-sets goes a
> LONG way to ease the bruising when the carpet gets changed with them
> standing on it.
>
I'm hoping that the actions at the end of the week and over the weekend laid
the groundwork for that (see long message to Kathy)

> And realize that some may bear a grudge that really has nothing to do
> with you.
>
Oh, yes. That's what I meant about resentment being moveable. You actually
resent feeling like second-hand furniture, sold with the store, but you feel
angry with your new boss(es) and everything they do and say

> Remember my beefs about Shannon Way Back When at Edutainment.

Yes, I do, which is why I wanted you to rehash it for me. Some of the
details have become fuzzy over time, and I want to avoid her mis-steps

> Remember, also, that a lot of my troubles were also MY twisting of
> perception, compounded by her inexperience and over-the-top gung-ho.
>
Okay, so I'll try to be more experienced than she was, but I can't disguise
my enthusiasm for the new job - I'm hoping to infect them with enthusiasm,
too - but I think perhaps recognising the way they feel about the sudden
uprooting might help there. As I recall, Shannon didn't "get it"

> And use the memories of when you were in the same fix to help cushion
> feelings.

I remember the feelings, but not the details, which is why I was asking for
a refresher

> Empathy won't take you ALL the way to the goal, but it sure helps.
>
I'm hoping

> Again, the big thing, which you know better than most of us, is to treat
> people like they have value. Appreciate that they have a reason to feel
> unsettled -- and let them know you recognize that this is upheaval for
> them, but you'll try to make it as better as you can.

Yeah

> Just the sense of being HEARD goes a long, long way to detoxing a touchy
> situation. IMHO.
>
I'm hoping - along with making them part of the decision making so that they
feel less like cattle being herded
>
> Indeed.  Wish it were smoother sailing for you.
> It's a pity Stuart over-sold your capabilities. [Bad enough when your own
> resume does that to you.]

I found it horrifying, but in the long run my insistance on not taking
credit that was not warranted has iincreased their acceptance of my word on
things

> I'm afraid we misunderstood at the outset that it was a
"simple" matter
> of fainting with damn praise, not actual misrepresentation.

I realise that.

> I suppose about all you can do is say, "I am flattered that Stuart thinks
> the moon of me. I hope you realize no one is that expert. But I WILL give
> you all I have...." Or that's how I'd likely try to handle it. And seems
> to be where you're at.

Hearing that they were buying Conveymaster along with staff gave me the
opportunity to point out that Fran really *is* the expert I was purported to
be, and they must not bill me as such when she's coming on board because not
only does she know the difference, but the news will go through the new
staff (not only hers but any others brought in by other purchases) like a
grassfire before a strong wind. At the least that'll make the new people
resentful and distrustful, and the worst they'll seek other employment. We
need Fran and her expertise, and there is no possible way I can do
everything if we grow the way I think we will. At first they demurred. I
pointed out to them that one of the areas I *am* expert in is managing staff
and preventing problems from arising down the road. They gave me doubtful
looks.
Lo and behold we started to take off, they came up with something I didn't
know and I was able to point out that's the kind of thing Fran does know and
we need her as an integral part of the team, I proved to them where my
strengths really are (administration, organisation, prediction, personnel,
presentation, word-smithing) and that allowed me to tell them what I'm not
good at (I'm no saleswoman, I'm no idea generator) I don't function well as
leader, I function well as second string. I don't come up with original
ideas, I make other people's ideas work. They started to take me seriously
and to understand that not only do I mean what I say, I say what I mean.
I've now been able to tell them and show them where I am expert, (which are
skills, knowledge, and expertise they do need, thank heavens!) and where I'm
not expert - which are gaps we can cover with the people we're bringing in.
I'm pushing to have them bring in Don, too, but pushing gently because I'm
meeting resistance ("we don't need any more lawyers involved")
I've now been able to point out to all of them individually where my areas
of expertise really do lie - and without mentioning Stuart at all! (yay) and
have had the satisfying feedback from the programmer that their estimation
of my worth to them is now based on the work I've done for them.

> Doesn't help the "imposter complex" management at
> ALL, however. And, believe me, we know how you feel -- how unsettling all
> THAT is -- possibly better than you imagine. Try not to let the worry
> make you sick -- like it can be controlled, but one feels compelled to
> say so.

You forget, I'm the one who doesn't get sick with worry. I see a problem, I
seek a solution, I get on with it.
When I found out I'd been misrepresented, I was horrified (I exploded out of
their sight), I was afraid it would ruin my chances of keeping the job, I
found a way to get the truth out quickly, they readjusted (after a bit of
hesitation), and now (huge relief!) my real talents and skills are being
used and the false advertising doesn't matter. We have a way around it. If
it had gone the other way and they couldn't use me if I wasn't expert in the
things they'd thought I was, better they and I find out right away (much as
I hated that idea). Then I would have been back to plan A - on unemployment
until I could find something. That was doable, but this is much much much
preferable! One of the ways I have of not worrying is to always have a back
up plan, and always plan out what I will do if the worst happens. Have a
survival plan for the worst case scenario means everything other than that
is gravy. It's refusing to think about or face the worst case scenario that
creates sleep-eating worry.
>
> OTOH, do bear in mind that these people gave you a raise upon meeting you
> -- so there must be something of the YOU they find enormously appealing.
> [Power of Positive Thinking and all that.]
>
Now they're giving me stocks. (Evil funny story)
The leader decided I deserved another raise, but couldn't get it past the
people putting up the funds, so he asked me if I'd accept stocks. I blinked.
(I've never before had a raise before I saw my first paycheque, never mind
have them try to get more for me again so soon.) The coder and the
programmer were across the table from the leader and I, and misinterpreted
my blink. The coder (Janet) urged me, "Take the stocks."
"Oh, I will," I said.
The programmer (Scott) urged me, "This is going to go someplace."
"Oh, I believe that," I agreed.
Then Scott assured me, "I have my nuts behind it."
I turned to the leader (George) and wailed, "What am I going to do
then?" in
a pathetic tone of voice.
George blinked, and then started to snicker.
Janet just looked confused.
Scott looked up from his computer, peering at George snickering and me
fluttering my lashes innocently, and the penny dropped. "No, no, I meant I'm
like a squirrel . . . "
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," I said.
George went purple, Janet just looked confused, and Scott dug himself in
deeper and deeper the more he tried to explain about squirrels hoarding for
the future.
"Zoom, straight into the gutter," George said, making an
aeroplane move with
his hand.

Meetings have been more light hearted since, even though we're getting more
and more behind the deadlines.

> Continued Good Thinkings, more than a little Faith in your Abilities....,
>
thank you thank you thank you.
>
> And =HUGS=
> from a tygress
>
and hugz back. I can't thank you enough for all your help and support. I
haven't felt excitement and enthusiasm like this since Rob and I started
Crosstown Communications.
>
Laurie how come I still don't have time to sit and write? Phoenix


--- Rachel's Little NET2FIDO Gate v 0.9.9.8 Alpha