From: "Jal Kae" 
Newsgroups: alt.paranormal.channeling
Organization: CyberGate, Inc.
Original Date: 22 Jan 1997 00:19:06 -0500
IROOT:NOTics
This is not for everyone. This is not for everyone. This is not for
everyone. This is not for everyone. This is not for everyone. This is not
for everyone. This is not for everyone. 
DBS - Displaced Belief Syndrome. Do you have the symptoms? 
(1) Do you feel that your New Age friends secretly think that you're a
cynic, or worse - a scientist? How about your straight friends? Do they
smirk behind your back, calling you things like "The Cadet" or "Ms.
Strange"? 
(2) Have you dabbled in (or dived into) religions of both the East and
West? Have you gobbled up the latest scientific discoveries? Looked into a
few fleeting-edge self-help movements? Done sessions with a progressive
shrink? Done EST or $cientology? Searched for or found a guru or teacher
of some sort? Picked over a million books, gone to hundreds of seminars?
Hung onto every word of a channeled entity? Tried a ton of spiritual
diets?
Have you had sort of okay results with some of these things, but none
really cut the biscuit? And you're *still* not satisfied? Maybe you *are*
suffering from DBS. Now the GOOD NEWS: The cure looms breathlessly on the
horizon. And the cure is . . . is . . . . . . IROOT:NOTics (TM).
Q: What is IROOT:NOT, and how did it start?
A: One morning while sleeping, er, meditating, Evin heard yet another
voice in his head. The Voice cried, "You must pitch a tent for the Seekers
of Truth. They deserve shade from the blistering sun of doubt,
frustration, and lies!"
Evin opened an eye and muttered, "Okay. . . ." and closed it again. But
the Voice persisted. "And you shall call this tent 'IROOT:NOT.' "
"Isn't that a North African grain?" asked Evin, trying to sound on top of
this.
"Silence!" thundered the Voice. "It is none other than the International
Royal Order Of The: Nomads Of Truth."
"Nomads of Truth . . ." thought Evin. He opened his eyes. Light blazed
into his head. It was daytime. He understood.
"You are the chosen . . . the UNSAVIOR," were the Voice's last words. The
last words of the Voice's last words echoed through Evin's head . . . "the
UNSAVIOR" . . . through Evin's head . . . " the UNSAVIOR.".  .  . 
Squinting, Evin asked, "But, why me?" 
"I've just spoken my last words," harshed the Voice, but continued anyway.
"Many have scorched their soles while crossing the burning sands of
relativity. Desperately, they've searched the wastelands for The Stable.
Dune after dune, they found only endless stretches of dubious dogma,
mind-marring mirages, and hot air."
"Yes, but why me?" insisted Evin. 
The Voice shrugged and said, "You won the toss."
As the Unsavior, Evin understands the discomfort of the religiously and
philosophically displaced: "It bites, sort of. . . ." (*Book of Words*,
chapter 4, verse 6.) Yet, through the miracle of saying Yes, now you can
join a group that doesn't care if you've fallen through the cracks of
categorization. IROOT:NOT is based on two unwarrantable assurances. First:
"I believe in what I can't prove," and second: "Critical thought is the
best religion." It welcomes all who want to fit in, but just don't. 
Before becoming the Unsavior, Evin always wanted to fit in and to "be
someone." Now he does and is. And *you* can, too! (Of course, you don't
*need* to join to be someone; you already are. Joining just makes it
official.) 
More good news: Even if you're not a "joiner," you can belong to
IROOT:NOT, because it's a non-group collective! 
Q: What is the dogma of IROOT:NOT? 
A: IROOT:NOTian transdoctrine is the practical synthesis of belief and
disbelief, left and right, poetry and prose, science and religion, common
sense and absurdity, trivial and profound, work and play, heaven and earth
- an eclectic balance.
"A line exists that separates extremes. Like the crest of a wave, the line
is always moving. If we are to maintain balance in our lives and fully
express ourselves, we must surf this wave. Awareness is the key. When we
fall asleep, we fall from our [surf] board - become 'all wet.' We must
then wait for the next wave to come along. Fortunately, the ocean is full
of them." (From, *Messages in the Sand*, Phil Specter) 
By applying IROOT:NOTian everyday, esoteric principles, not only do you
get everything done more easily, but you prosper in the meantime! Life
becomes a working vacation more and more. 
IROOT:NOTics - the organic, transpsychic mechanism that influences
"NOTian" existence - is a process. NOTian philosophers speculate that
IROOT:NOTics, though intense - even heavy - at first, leads to rapid
transcendence in the issues of self-limitation and antiprosperityism,
because innately, an evolutionary vector engine is what powers this
process. NOTian NeoTheologians claim that this engine is the *planet's
first experiment with this evolutionary propulsion system*, because the
*group* involved is relatively conscious. Put another way, the trans-
dimensional, synergetic essences of all NOTians are one of the fuels
(among others) for this engine.
As evolutionary channels of these different energies, NOTians express a
wealth of possibilities that are in harmony with their individual ideals.
IROOT:NOTics, acting as a powerful, clarifying lens, highlights, accents,
and amplifies these ideals, such as experiment and discovery, creativity,
insight, compassion, humor, kindness, acceptance, respect, fun, humility,
prosperity, awe, lightheartedness, and realness of all sorts. 
Lastly, IROOT:NOTian scripture suggests that LIFE IS AN EXPERIMENT.
NOTians are mystic scientists trying not only to figure out how we should
perform the experiment, but what it is, why we should do it, when is it
over, and whose experiment is it, anyway? We want *The Answer*. 
Like an acid, this Life-As-Experiment principal corrodes fixed systems. As
it etches its way through layers of rusting, metallic ideas, etheric
thought molecules spill in, filling the void. This creative energy -
building slowly/rapidly - molds itself into new and exciting pre-forms.
Like vibrant rosebuds anxious for the dawn, for you to open your eyes
again, they wait for you to express, fresh, which you will. Because of
this expansive effect, IROOT:NOT is an unstoppable evolutionary wave. And
the surfs up! 
Q: Is the Unsavior the Messiah?
A: No. Some religions claim that the Messiah wants you to believe in Him
so He can save you. The Unsavior says, "No one can save you," and "You are
pre-saved."
"First, you - as a carbon-based flesh creature - will die and return to
the elements. You can't be saved [from this] unless a miracle happens. 
Second, you - as an immortal spark of divinity - were never unsaved. 
Believing or not believing in *anyone* won't change that." (*The
Illustrated Book of Thoughts,* Illustration #33.)
Q: Is this "Unsavior" the Antichrist?
A: No. Some religions say that the Antichrist wants your soul so it will
burn in hell forever. What an attitude! The Unsavior doesn't want your
soul, *even if you gave it to him for free*. He wouldn't know what to do
with it. 
Q: Is the Unsavior like the Pope, a king, a dictator, or a president?
A: No. He is an unassuming person. He has fears, goals, and desires like
everyone else. Sometimes he feels superior, yet he is very humble and
knows that he is a clueless piece of subgrade Nothing. At the core of his
minuscule brain flickers a message in sputtering neon: "The arms of the
universe are open to you. Surrender to it. It will do the same to you.
Then the fun begins!" (As recorded in *Mind Sparks and Their Effects on
Combustible Materials*.) 
The Unsavior learns from every interaction and therefore shares equal
ground with all others. Although he does wear an invisible crown (which is
why some have mistaken him for a king and so forth), he wears it only
because he, like everyone, was born with this *crown of sovereignty*. 
Q: Is IROOT:NOT a religion, a science, a philosophy, or a joke?
A: Not exactly. It's like a multidimensional, multifaceted diamond. The
Force of Evolution can use these facets as windows, coercing our divinity
to show itself. As the light of our wholeness sparkles through the
diamond, we become more aware of our part in the dancing rainbow of life. 
Q: Is IROOT:NOT a cult?
A: No. A cult wants you to join them and wants all of your money. They
also want you to convert others, to save them. 
The Unsavior wants you to join, but doesn't want *all* of your money. 
IROOT:NOT actually *gives things away* (excluding s&h). Energetically, it
supports your desire to collect a lot of money rather easily. IROOT:NOT
doesn't pressure you to round up converts, either. If you have to convert
them, *they're not ready to join*! Additionally, most cults (religions and
movements, as well) want to have as many followers as they can convince.
NOTians, however, aren't followers. (They are followers of their spirit.)
Plus,
"Not one more than 144,000 shall fill your ranks . . ." (From, *Code of
Numbers,* Book 4.) 
Q: A friend of mine wants to join, but he doesn't think he's worthy. Can
he join anyway? 
A: Yes, he can, if he signs a waiver stating he knows *he is not his
unworthiness*. If he doesn't feel comfortable signing the waiver, then he
can send an extra $5 with his membership application as penance. This will
prompt the IROOT:NOTian Universe to absolve him from his delusion. What a
deal! (Delusionee retains the right to unabsolve him or herself at any
time.)
Q: There's an IROOT:NOTian Universe?
A: Sure, every group and individual lives in their own universe. NOTians
live in a miraculous universe. 
Q: Doesn't everyone live in a miraculous universe?
A: No, just look around.
Q: Thanks for clearing that up. Now that I know that I'm safe and dealing
with a reputable organization, what benefits will I have by becoming a
member of IROOT:NOT? How much will it cost? 
A: The benefits are many, and the cost: only $1! (Please include $15 s&h
with your request. US $ only.) That's right. And what do you receive for
this next-to-nothing, freewill, total-love-gift donation? Just look at
this list of ACTUAL HANDS-ON PRODUCTS and SERVICES that are yours, almost
for FREE! 
* A genuine laminated IROOT:NOT membership card. (This proves that you're
a part of a humble, elite group dedicated to various worthy causes.) This
card is your passport for international recognition, because it confirms
your STATUS as an IROOT:NOT member.
Show it to salespeople, auto rental agencies, hotel clerks, health food
store owners, even airlines. Maybe they'll give you a discount or
something. Flash it to government officials, rich or famous people, or
alien visitors. Who knows what doors it will open. And, if you continue
paying the annual dues (only $1, plus $15 s&h), you can be a member for
life!
Special! Special! Special! Gold card opportunity for new members only!
Send $1 plus $500 s&h and become a member for ETERNITY! Yes, you heard
right: one "eternal dues" payment covers membership costs for an UNLIMITED
number of lifetimes!
Q: You mentioned that IROOT:NOT members are dedicated to various worthy
cause. What if I'm not? Can I still join? 
A: You sure can! Being a part of IROOT:NOT is a worthy cause in itself!
Q: Do you have discounts?
A: Yes, we do! If you're a student (in grade's 1-6), a senior citizen (88
years or older), or if you're just having a cash flow situation, then ALL
of IROOT:NOT's products and services are absolutely FREE. (You must
include s&h charges, though.) Now, let's continue with the benefits. 
* NOTians ride FREE - anywhere, anytime - in "Care Force Won," IROOT:NOT's
private Lear Jet! (After we reach our fund raising goal of only $750
million.) 
* Discover the secret of HOW TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. The cost to you:
Nothing! (Please include $12 s&h with your request.) 
* Receive ABSOLUTE PERMISSION to become rich and/or lazy - without the
accompanying guilt! FREE! FREE! FREE! 
* Learn the REAL answers to the age old questions, "Why am I here?" and
"Can I go now?" Member price: $1. Non-member price: $10,000. Please
include $5 s&h with your request. 
* Develop the ability to intuit the exact location of the Holy Grail, just
by being a NOTian! (For locations of gold mines or buried treasure [gold
coins, etc.], please send a SASE plus $1.25 million s&h. Locations
guaranteed.) 
* Receive instructions to the solitaire game, "Universe Says." Provides
years of co-creative guidance and entertainment. Only $1 plus $15 s&h. 
* Own and hold in your very hands the MetaSacred ur-Oath of the IROOT:NOT.
If you dare, you can even say it aloud! Best of all, it's FREE! (Please
include $10 s&h with your request.)
* Invent your own SECRET HANDSHAKE!
* Become infused (and enthused) with Reverse Trans-Psychic Bi-Locality. 
Save hundreds of $ in phone and travel expenses; visit you friends, guru,
or anyone else without leaving your home! More safe and reliable than
astral travel. Send $1 plus $10 s&h for more information. 
* Create your own *Picture of Reality*, and PRETEND IT'S TRUE! FREE! FREE!
FREE! 
* Receive your very own 8 1/2" x 10" Title Certificate, FREE! (Please
include $15 s&h for each Title requested.) These cleverly designed,
official looking certificates are suitable for framing or for showing off
to your friends. Being exclusive, these Titles are available only to
members (or those who are seriously considering joining). Choose from the
following: 
> IROOT:NOTics Nez Master
> Pseudo Omniscient
> Mystic Scientist
> Heavenly Light Moth
> Prophet of the Obvious
> Mortal God/dess
> Unworthy Old Soul
> True Believer
> True Disbeliever (Not available in Wisconsin, South Dakota, or Turkey.)
> All Most Reverend
> Nearsighted Visionary
> Love Sponge
> Humble Special Being
> Spiritual Existentialist
> Unteacher
> Truth Slave
> Absolute Relativist
> Source of Diffused Light
> Or, come up with your own!
Q: "Can I become an 'Unsavior,' too?"
A: Yes, you can! Simply send an additional $9,999 s&h with your request. 
Q: Aren't these Titles tinged with megalomania?
A: Yes, they are! Studies* have shown that it's better to have a free
ranging ego than a cramped one. (*No governmental body has confirmed these
findings.) There's a proverb that says, "If you keep a bull pinned up,
he'll crash against the walls trying to escape. Let him roam in a large
field, though, and though he's fenced in, he's content." 
Science supports this principle. Keep gas molecules cooped up in a small
container, and they become restless. The more confined, the more agitated.
Expand the container, and the gas chills. 
Many NOTians enjoy chilled lifestyles. Besides, they know that they're not
the bull. 
* Because you are waking up faster than ever, you may have noticed lapses
in both long- and short-term memory. Not a problem! As an IROOT:NOT
member, you have the privilege of *storing your memories* at our Akashic
Records Archiving Facility.
That's right. We've subleased a huge amount of space, and now you can save
those precious memories without leaving home! Store them safely beyond the
ravishes of fire, flood, time, mental decay, and internal evolutionary
reshuffling. 
For only $1 (plus $15 s&h), you will receive your own personal AMT (Astral
Memory Teller) card. To use, hold your specially encoded AMT card on your
forehead; your memories are automatically copied and transferred to our
vaults. Reverse the card, and retrieve them the same way, 24 hours a day. 
(Annual renewal fee is $1, plus $5 s&h.)
Your laminated card should last a lifetime. But if it's lost or stolen,
we'll replace the card for free. (Please include $15 s&h with your
request.) 
* Do you want to make more money? Sure, everybody does. Now you can enroll
in the universally non-accredited "IROOT:NOT Interdimensional Correspon-
dence School of Advanced Unlearning" (IROOT:NOTICSOAU). Choose from any of
these exciting non-career opportunities:
> Professor of IROOT:NOTics
> Reality Technician
> Karma Adjuster
> UFO Investigator (Levels 1-3)
> Illusion Management
> Astral Travel Agent
> Mind Surgeon
> Temporal Alchemist
> Life Vector Analyst
> Akashic Records D.J.
> Slack Repair
> Lite Worker
> Dispensation Sales
> Biocomputer Deprogrammer
> Immortality Insurance Overwriter
To enroll, send only $1 (plus $25 s&h) for each course you'd like to take. 
After successfully completing a course, you'll receive a suitable-for-
framing IROOT:NOTICSOAU diploma via FIRST CLASS MAIL.
Or, earn your "Doctors of IROOT:NOTics" degree. Members: Get in touch with
us about this opportunity to earn your Doctor's degree today. 
* You can order any of the unique specialty items below. Best of all,
they're FREE! (Please include $15 s&h for each free item that you
request.) 
	> One (1) zip-lock bag filled with a little IROOT:NOT Brand "Fear
Removal Powder." Directions included. 
	> One (1) "Get Out of Hell Free" card.
	> One (1) month's supply of IROOT:NOT Brand "Instant Karma Rinse"
(drawn from the grifo del lavaplatos at the IROOT:NOT HeadCenter). Comes
in a guaranteed uncontaminated recycled container. Directions included. 
	> One (1) invisible "Earth Changes Barometer." This all-etheric
wonder emits a piercing astral alarm, days before dangerous earth changes
destroy your neighborhood (or planet).
Q: Is the invisible "Earth Changes Barometer" really invisible?
A: Yes.
	> One (1) universally understood* set of alien runes that say "I'm
your friend!" (*Not recognized by all ET races.) Printed on white paper.
Folds easily to fit in your wallet or purse. 
* Subscribe to "Living in the Eternal Wow," IROOT:NOT's quasi-quarterly
newsletter, FREE! (Please include $15 s&h with your subscription request.) 
Stay in-tune with the latest insights, almost FREE! offers, and the zany
(or serious) antics of the global NOTian community. As a member, your
letters to the Editor are WANTED and welcomed! 
Q: So, how do join, how do I join?
A: Send no money now, except the $15 s&h. The $1 enrollment fee will be
billed to you. If you're not 100% satisfied, tell us, and we'll promptly
refund your money. (Sorry, s&h is not refundable.) This ironclad guarantee
applies to all IROOT:NOT products and services. 
Remember, to join YOU MUST ACT NOW, before the end of the world.  
Q: If I send you the enrollment fee, will I really get a membership card
(and whatever other product or service that I order)? 
A: Yes, you will.
Please note: If you've read this far, (really) understand that if you join
this "entity," you will change (for the better, of course), and the
process may be a bit intense at first. 
Q: Can I quit if it's too intense?
A: Yes, you can, but hang in for a few days. To break the IROOT:NOTian
link, simply cut up your membership card. 
 
Send your cash, check, precious metals, stocks, bonds, bank drafts, or
money order to "IROOT:NOT." Be sure to scribble neatly your name and
address (if you want your order mailed to the right place). Please allow
4-6 weeks for delivery. 
IROOT:NOT
PO Box 220964
Hollywood FL 33022-0964
USA
All prices, products, and services are subject to change or mutation
without notice. For entertainment only. IROOT:NOT is an outreach project
of Starbuilders/ULC. Copyright 1997 by IROOT:NOT. You donations support
the work of Starbuilders/ULC and are tax-deductible. 
Permission is granted to repost or reprint this article, but please repost
or reprint it in its entirety.
"You gain nothing by denying the obvious, except experience." Y.B. Hyden
(*The Book of Redundancy Book*, page 23.) 
"Life is an experiment." (*Understanding Judgment* page 335, by
Krishnayogigomez.) 
Finish/Beginning???
-- 
As Light, we are one.      
                                  
Evin                
Starbuilders    
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