As embellished and related by the jolly faggot Ross Casselli
of the non-Sicilian ( they're from the next island over, not Sicily)

=> ROSS CASSELL wrote to WAYNE CHIRNSIDE <=-

 RC> [Waynes BIO]

 RC> ** The Boasts Of Knowledge **

 RC> Abstract thinker when Eisenhower and Kennedy were US President,
 RC> remembers Nikita Kruschev at the UN.

 RC> Claims IQ of 137, yet is now socially dependent on society.

 RC> Blames all computer problems on imaginary malware, gets BIOS virus
 RC> while running under Linux on a dial-up connection.

 RC> Successfully compiles a linux utility from the command line under
 RC> linux, proclaims to be the worlds foremost expert and authority on
 RC> Linux after this accomlishment, thumps chest to those whom have no
 RC> interest in Linux.

 RC> Recently learned in 2007 what "VI" was, despite previous boasts of
 RC> superior linux know how.

 RC> Addicted to drugs as a kid.

 RC> Intentionally smoked crack cocaine to understand a girlfriends
 RC> addiction, despite having been a addict to drugs as a abstract thinking
 RC> kid. (Once was not enough)

 RC> Attracts another girlfriend who did crack and then steals her dog!

 RC> Once spent 2/3'rds of discretionary income on the flea bitten dog
 RC> that you stole from your crack addict girlfriend.

 RC> Took medication prescribed for pet dog "SPANKY" which led
to its death!

 RC> Current source for medication is 1-800-PET-MEDS.

 RC> Dives in a dumpster for his computer equipment.

 RC> ** Heroism **

 RC> Can lift 657 pounds of rolled stainless steel unassisted and
 RC> perform trigonometry functions while doing so.. [This didnt happen]

 RC> Along with 6 other guys, lifted a early 70's Ford Torino out of sugar
 RC> sand and carried it 20 feet. [This didnt happen]

 RC> Precisionnaires number one employee when he worked as a janitor for
 RC> them.

 RC> With previously creditted IQ of 137, develops work habits as a laborer
 RC> that sends him down the road to his back problems and is proud of the
 RC> fact that said IQ didnt embelish upon him proper lifting techniques.

 RC> ** Character **

 RC> Offerred job as a data entry clerk with free transportation, repays the
 RC> offer by issuing a death threat to the person who offerred.

 RC> Man from Sweden offers to bring Wayne to sweden to get his back
 RC> treated, fears losing that free ride and turns offer down.

 RC> Claims to be a patriot and demonstrates patriotism by shamelessly
 RC> living off of a govt social program but insults all those who work for
 RC> a living who inevitably provide the funding for the program, and has by
 RC> now taken more out of the program than he put in.

 RC> Has lost access on several Fidonet BBS's and doesnt blame himself for
 RC> it.

 RC> ** Medical **

 RC> Claims to have had stroke:

 RC> 1. Did not seek medical treatment.

 RC> 2. Says he displays symptoms that prove he has had stroke, still does
 RC> not seek medical treatment.

 RC> 3. Starts typing messages in Fidonet to mimic the appearance of someone
 RC> whom has lost their mind, still doesnt seek medical treatment, yet
 RC> remembers how to operate his computer, remembers how to do both basic
 RC> and complex compter tasks, remembers logon passwords, internet
 RC> addresses and all that that entails.

 RC> 4. Claims that linux is rehabilitating him from a stroke he did not
 RC> have.

 RC> Is scheduled soon to suffer from another medical ailment, most likely
 RC> going to be parkinsons disease or cancer.

 RC> ---

... Cassell, cleanup in aisle 3
--- MultiMail/Linux v0.47