FORWARDED MESSAGE, originally email from bakslash@nicom.com
---------------------
From: Arthur Levesque
From: darkjedisb@aol.com (DarkJediSB)
Subject: Odd little Star Wars song parodies
The following is copied out of a folder in the AOL Star Wars Fan Forum.
Somebody a loooong time ago asked about a SW song that was like YMCA. So
I suppose I will post them. And no, I didn't make the blasted things up.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Y.O.D.A (To the Village People's "Y.M.C.A")
(As sung by master Yoda, on meeting Luke Skywalker).
YOUNG MAN, I saw your ship come down. I said
YOUNG MAN, now it's muddy and brown. I said
YOUNG MAN, put your weapon away, 'cause I
*MEAN* *YOU* *NO* *HARM* *I* *SAY*
YOUNG MAN, There's no need to feel fear. I am
WONDERIN', tell me why are you here? How you
GROWIN', from this food on the plate, I say
*WARS* *DO* *NOT* *MAKE* *ONE* *GREAT*
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A.
He's 900 years old!
He's so strong in the Force!
Do your Jedi Diploma course!
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
Come and get yourself clean!
Come and have a good meal!
Pretty soon now, the Force you'll feel!
YOUNG MAN, you fell out of the sky, into
SOMETHIN' brown that smells like a sty, and this
TIN CAN started swimming and then, he got
*SPAT* *OUT* *LIKE* *SOME* *THROAT* *PHLEGM*
YOUNG MAN, Welcome to Dagobah. He is
COMIN', master Yoda not far. I'll be
HAVIN' this bright thing that ain't hot. It is
*MINE* *OR* *I'LL* *HELP* *YOU* *NOT*
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A.
He's 900 years old!
He's so strong in the Force!
Do your Jedi Diploma course!
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
You must be here to see Y.O.D.A
Don't just stand in the rain!
You're all covered with mud!
come and sample my homemade crud!
OLD BEN, Are you listenin' to me? I can't
TRAIN HIM, he's so reckless you see! Like his
OLD MAN, he's so angry but brave! Betcha
*HE* *SCREWS* *UP* *AT* *THE* *CAVE*
YOUNG MAN, If you start will you end, or be
GOING, off to save all your friends? To be
TRAINING, needs commitment and work, if you
*WIMP* *OUT* *THEN* *YOU'RE* *A* *JERK*
You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A
You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A
You should stay here and train!
You don't have to save Han!
If you do so, you'll lose your hand!
You gotta stay here with Y.O.D.A.
(repeat and fade).
-- ----------------
_Imperial Rhapsody_by: Queen
(sung to: Bohemian Rhapsody)
LANDO: This is the good life
This is a fantasy
Working on Bespin
An escape from Reality
LEIA: Open your eyes
Stand up to these guys and see.
LUKE: I'm just a farmboy, I need some sympathy
Cuz who's my dad, I dunno
Little whine, little moan.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really matter, to me.
PIETT: Vader just killed a man.
Raised an arm up in the air
Now his life is no longer there.
Vader, we had just begun,
And now I've gone and lost the reb-el scum.
Vader, ooooooo.
Didn't mean to make you mad
If I'm not alive again this time tomorrow,
There'll be a new admiral,
As if nothing ever happened.
YODA: Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time.
LUKE: Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and learn the Force.
PIETT: Vader, ooooooooo.
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.
LUKE: I see a little silhoutto of a man.
Palpatine, Palpatine, can it be the Emperor?
Thunderbolts and lighting, very very hurting me!
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, Where'd ya go? C-3PO O O O O O OH!
I'm just a farmboy, nobody loves me.
REBELS: He's just a farmboy, with a dead family.
Spare him this life of such mundacity!
HAN: Spice'll come, spice'll go. Jabba let me go.
JABBA: Bo shuda! (No, we will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: Let me go!
JABBA: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!
HAN: LET ME GO!
JABBA: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
C3PO: Oh R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, Come along.
LEIA: C-3PO has a rebel put aside for meeeee, for meeeeee, for
MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Stormtroopers start headbanging)
LUKE: So you say you're the dear old dad of mine?
But you cut my hand off and left me to die!
Oh Vader, can't do this to me Vader.
I know there's some good, I know there's still some good in you.
OBIWAN: May the Force be with you.
Use the Force to see.
May the Force be with you,
May the Force be with you, alwaaaaaaaaaaaaays.
HAN: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really Mat-ter, to meeeeeeee.
"I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Diplomatic Droid"
(to the tune of "I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General", from
Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance")
(from _HMS DEATHSTAR_)
THREEPIO:
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid
I'm fluent in the languages of Robot, Wookiee, humanoid,
A binary loadlifter does not pose the slightest mystery,
I know the rules the protocol and also human history.
I'm very well acquainted too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news --
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
CHORUS:
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse (X3)
THREEPIO:
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous;
In short, my masters find in me a reason to be overjoyed,
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.
CHORUS:
In short his masters find in he, etc.
THREEPIO:
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid;
Adventure is the quite of thing I hoped that I could quite avoid,
For droids who find adventure often find that they get melted down,
Or shipped out to the Kessel mines and tiresome labour underground.
My counterpart excels at making trouble for the rest of us,
He lured me to the desert where the jawas soon molested us,
They sold us to some farmers, and before the passing of a day,
I had to tell my master that the little twerp had run away.
CHORUS:
He had to tell, etc. (X3)
THREEPIO:
Now that we're on the Death Star, and stormtroopers swarm the premises,
I'm hiding in the closet with that little Artoo nemesis;
And so I want to make it clear 'ere Artoo gets us both destroyed.
I was the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.
CHORUS:
And so he wants to make it clear 'ere Artoo gets them both destroyed,
He was the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.
THE MAX REBO BAND
(To Billy Joel's "The Pianoman")
It's nine o'clock down at Jabba's place
the regular crowd waddles in
there's a weird thing sitting next to me
it has three eyes and mottled grey skin.
Fett says Max can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
but it's haunting and sweet and if you miss a beat
this carbine will blow off your nose.
He said sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
except Solo, who's in carbonite.
La de de da, de de da
La da de de da, da-dum...
Now Jabba the Hutt is a friend of mine
he gives me my life for free
And because he's a Hutt, why, we all kiss his butt
or the rancor will have us for tea.
He said "Bo Shuda, offom da Tukatti!"
as he stuffed a frog into his face
but we don't know a woid, 'cause he shot the talkdroid
So we'll smile and nod, just in case.
Oh, La de de da, de de da
La da de de da, da dum....
Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
except Solo, who's in carbonite.
Sy Snootles is our favorite vocalist
her face it ain't launching no ships.
Don't know why it behoove her to go kiss a hoover
but that's how she got those weird lips.
A Gammorean guard is headbutting bricks
as another one gnaws on a bone
and I don't know which has less intelligence
either those two big thugs or the stone.
Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
'cause we're all in the mood for a melody
except Solo, who's in carbonite.
Oh, la da da da de de dah
la da de de da dah dum...
It's a pretty good crowd, here at Jabba's place
it's a killing, that's why we're all here
we'll sail over the dune to the pit of Carkoon
and we'll toss someone in with a cheer.
'Cause we gotta new droid on the pedestal
and a man in black's come in the door
he just pointed a gun over Salicious Crumb
and then promptly sank through the floor.
Oh, La de de da, de de da
La da de de da, da dum...
Sing us a song now, Max Rebo Band
sing us a song tonight
for the Jedi Skywalker is down below
and the rancor is gripping him tight.
HAN (To REM's "Stand")
(As sung by His Excellency, Jabba The Hutt)
Han in the place where I live
(On the wall) Think about adhesion, wonder what holds him up there now
Han in my palace at home
(It's the best)
Makes a good example for the people who are working for me.
Now if, you have, to hang up your hat
just use, the guy, who's frozen and flat
His hand, is there, to hold things for you
And Han, is there, 'cause I like the view!
Oh Han with my trophies at work
(Excellent)
Think about collection, wonder can I get the Wookiee now
Han, brought here by my best friend
(Boba Fett)
Stops him dumping cargo runs and blowing my employees in half
Now Han, a statue, is a good sight
I'm glad, that Vader, used carbonite
He's not, asleep, he's stuck in a dream.
I like, his face-perpetual scream!
Oh Han on display in my room
(Work of art)
Think of decoration, maybe should I hang him sideways now?
Han, it was worth all the cash
(Every cent)
He even opens bottles and I think he'd make a real good doorman
Han on the deck of my barge
Han frozen stiff as a bar
Han doesn't wonder too far
Oh Han!
_Luke_ (sung to the tune of "Lump" by: The Presidents of the USA)>>>
Newords by Patrick Mines.
Luke sat alone on Tatooine,
Waiting for something to happen to him.
Droids showed up on the moisture farm,
They totally confused all the passing Jawas.
He's Luke, he's Luke, he's in my head
He's Luke, he's Luke, he's Luke, his family's dead.
Luke lingered long on Dagobah,
And the dream he got was sort of rotten and it seems
Ben lied to him and Vader's his dad.
Is Luke over there hanging out with no hand?
He's Luke, he's Luke, he's in my head
He's Luke, he's Luke, he's Luke, his family's dead.
(whining)
Luke was standing ready and without a care.
The guard pushed him off and he tumbled through the air.
He did some fairly heroic-type deeds.
Luke left for Endor at subsonic speeds.
He's Luke, he's Luke, he's in my head
He's Luke, he's Luke, he's Luke, his family's dead.
Is this Luke outta my head?
I think so.
Is this Luke outta my head?
I think so. Yeah! Whooo!
Is this Luke outta my head?
I think so.
Is this Luke outta my head?
"The Jedi"
(sung to the theme music of "The Nanny")
He was working as a farmboy back on Tatooine
'Till his unc 'n' aunt were killed by a trooper team
Where was he to go, what was there to do
When it was past his bedtime?
Alone with two droids and a gray old fool
He could fly
He could fight
He had the Force
That's how he became the Jedi
Yes and the Rebels, they were lucky indeed
Bringing in the one thing that they really need
He has really gone far (let the Rebels win)
Blowing up the Death Star (bad luck Tarkin)
He believes in the Force, while the others think it was a fluke
The farmboy from Tatoonie, the Jedi named Luke
Blast, Loot, Pillage Burn
(Tune- Mickey Mouse Club Theme)
Blast, loot, pillage, burn, blast, loot, pillage, burn.
Who's the leader of the Horde that's made for what we are?
Lord D-A-R-T-H-V-A-D-E-R!
Hey there, hi there, ho there! We'll conquer every star!
Lord D-A-R-T-H-V-A-D-E-R!
Darth Vader! (Obi Wan!) Darth Vader! (Skywalker!)
For ever let us hold our blasters high! High! High! HIGH!
Come along and sing our song and march with us to war,
Lord D-A-R-T-H-V-A-D-E-R!
(slowly)
Now it's time to say goodbye - they're closing up the bar -
Lord D-A-[aaayy]*
R-T-H- ["H" is what he'll give ya!]
V-A-D-E- (PAUSE) R-R-R-R.
*a la the Fonze, including thumbs up gesture.
A-[aaayy]*
R-T-H- ["H" is what he'll give ya!]
V-A-D-E- (pause) R-R-R-R.
Battle Hymn of the Dark Horde
(Tune-Battle Hymn of the Republic)
Mine eyes have seen the coming of the terrible Darth Horde.
They are searching out the cellars where your vintage wines are stored.
They have loosed the fearful lightnings of their lightsabers and swords,
The Darth Horde marches on.
Chorus:
Glory, glory to Lord Vader! Glory, glory to the Raiders!
Here we come with our lightsabers! The Darth Horde marches on!
I have seen them in the Death Star marching through the corridors!
They have built a reputation as the villains in "Star Wars."
Now they're coming to your planet - it won't help to lock the doors.
The Darth Horde marches on.
Chorus
Now you may fear the Empire but the Horde is ten times worse!
Better call your undertaker and reserve yourself a hearse.
Today we'll take your planet - tomorrow the universe!
The Darth Horde marches on.
Chorus
(Half Tempo)
From the ashes of the Clone Wars there arose one Jedi Knight.
Wearing armor black as chaos with a sword a-blazin' light.
As we know the left hand pillar must balance out the right,
The Darth Horde marches on.
Chorus
_________
/_______ /| Arthur "Two-Sheds" Levesque, 2A4W! bakslash@nicom.com
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