Hi Bill!
 BS> Thank you for our declaration of support!  It really helps, even now
 BS> when, because there has been so much inaction for so long, it seems
 BS> likes it's all over -- and lost.  But we _are_ keeping up the fight,
 BS> and hope to be back in the legal arena before the year is out.
Believe me, I know just how important it is to have the support. Regardless
of the circumstances, all of these cases are devasting and the support 
from others is so vital if we are going to continue to fight.  I must 
admit that there are days when I feel like giving up, and for the day I
do.  But after a few hours of sleep I come back fighting even harder than
before.  By the way, I don't know if you remember her or not, but a very
good friend of mine, Linda Martin, is the one who told me of your case.
She even supplied me with articles, and she is still supporting you even
though you haven't heard from her in a very long time.  
 BS> I read your letter to the judge.  I can't tell you how much I am
 BS> shocked, horrified, sympathetic...  
Thank you for the sympathy, and I understand the shock and horror. There
has been some requests for background information on the kids that Don and
I feel will help clarify how our situation came to be.  Don is posting it,
since I can't.  
 
 BS> I work weekends on a contract software job. This involves working 
 BS> Saturday and Sunday in a friend's basement where the device being 
 BS> programmed is located; ...
Hmmmm.  What kind of programming are you doing and what type of device 
is it?  Just curious!  I was one of the programmers who programmed the
PATH subway system in New York City.  In fact, my control panels were
installed at the World Trade Center just a couple of months before the
bombing there.  I've also done process controls for Chevron pilot plants, 
water purification plants, and things of that nature.  
 
 BS> ... I see daily the interactions among his family.  Their son, a year 
 BS> or two younger than Daryl, seems to be developing along similar lines, 
 Bs> though he is not as threatening.  
Daryl didn't start becoming threatening until just a few months ago.  
Then he would tower over me and flex his mucles and clench and unclench 
his fists in an effort to intimidate me.  
 
 BS> They have (had) him in various counseling and I don't know what else.  
Same here: counseling, a church group, Boy Scouts, work, etc... 
 
 BS> The boy is *bright* (as are his genius-level parents),
 BS> he pegs the IQ tests, he is able to follow simple rules but... he just
 BS> doesn't seem to connect anything other than immediate cause-and-effect.
At least that's an improvement over Daryl.  Daryl's IQ is about 118, but he
either has no common sense, or he simply doesn't care.  Consequences didn't 
matter to him as long as he got to do what he wanted.  He only followed the 
rules when he felt like it. Perhaps this kid has a better chance than Daryl.  
I sure hope so.
 
 BS> *I* can see that if he's not careful he could wind up in prison; I've
 BS> known many of his ilk there.  
That's exactly what we're afraid of in Daryl's case.  A great deal of our 
concern is WHAT will Daryl do to cause himself to be put in prison.  WHO
will he hurt and HOW?  We are terrified for his future victims and their
families if Daryl can't turn his life around now.  Yet despite our concern,
there is little that we can do, and we can't walk ahead of him his whole
life warning people to stay away from him.  It doesn't help assuage our
fears to have his counselor tell us that Daryl will probably spend the
majority of his adult years behind bars.  I sure hope your friends son
can turn himself around now.  Have they tried ToughLove?  It didn't help
us much with Daryl, but perhaps they can help your friend and his son.
We went to ToughLove for about a year, but even they were at a loss as to
how to deal with Daryl because their suggestions weren't effective on him.
At the end, they simply told us that in time Daryl would either straighten
up be get caught in the system, and that is precisely what happened. 
In Wyoming I was a peer support counselor at the State Pen for parents
that REALLY did abuse their children and were incarcerated for that reason.
I've dealt with some of the inmates, and I know what they are like.  I 
could see Daryl in many of them, and that does terrify me.
 
 BS> I cannot tell you how much anguish I see this causing his parents.  
I understand.  Do they know about the PROBLEM-CHILD echo on FidoNet?  That
would offer them a lot of support that they could probably use right now.
 
 BS> Then I turn around and there is your case and your anguish...  
 BS> Valery, I don't know what to say but: stay strong; you'll make it. 
I know we'll make it, it's just hard as h@ll in the meantime.  You hang
in there too!  Together, we can all make a difference, AND WE WILL!
Val
~~~ ReneWave v1.00.wb2 (unregistered)
--- Mankind = One Family
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