Mamabird wrote:
> Not very long ago Ray commented here that I thrive on sympathy, or
> something to that effect. So, I want to say right off that I am not looking
> for sympathy with this post, but hoping for advice, comments, ideas or
> personal experiences. Anything!
> 
> Last Wed. I found out I have cancer... a lemon size tumor in my right lung
> (the "good" news is it hasn't spread beyond the lung). This
is an entirely
> separate problem from my illness and surgery earlier this year, but it
> looks as though I'll be facing yet more surgery and I'm still recovering
> from the ulcer surgery.
> 
> Being in an already physically weakened state I am having to face the harsh
> reality that I may not be physically able to continue caring for my babies
> once my surgery/radiation treatment begins. And of course, there's always
> the possibility that my condition is terminal. I won't know the details
> until next week as my Oncologist is sending me to a pulmonary specialist
> who will make the determination of how to proceed - or IF to proceed.
> 
> I find myself forced to SERIOUSLY consider finding homes for my birds. My
> Will stipulates that upon my death my ex will get the birds and other pets.
> This was something we discussed and agreed on, but now I'm having second
> thoughts. The reason: last month he married the "she's just a
friend" that
> he left me for back in 1996. He recently admitted that the reason he came
> back to me and sweet talked me into marrying him again in '97 was because
> the "she's just a friend" had just lost her husband (hubby
#6) and wasn't
> interested AT THAT TIME in jumping into a new marriage. Needless to say, I
> do not want her or her relatives/friends to end up with my babies, and I
> KNOW
> that's exactly what would happen.
> Granted, I could change my Will but, quite frankly there is no one else,
> friend or family member, who wants these birds. So basically the ex is my
> only option in that respect.
> 
> So if I find out my cancer is terminal, or if I can no longer care for the
> birds properly during or after whatever course of treatment they decide on,
> I've reconciled myself to face the fact that they will have to go to new
> homes.... and I think I would rather die than lose them.
> 
> I just simply don't know what to do.
> Please, has anyone been through anything like this? I'm not thinking
> clearly right now and I need advice... hope... encouragement.... something
> to cling to... please.
> I can't stand the thought of giving up my birds! What if I can't find good
> homes for all of them? I've even thought about refusing treatment since I'm
> not really "sick" at this point. But eventually I'd still
face not being
> well enough to take care of them. Everything in my life seems so totally
> hopeless.
I am so sorry. The others have stated evrything I want to say much 
better than I could. I will keep you in my prayers.
Debbie
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