(forwarded from another list.  Proving once again that alcohol and shooting
don't mix, or is that idiots and shooting?? -- Jim)
Date: Fri, 27 Mar 1998 18:40:47 -0600
From: Robert Beard 
subject: a darwin award candidate in training
date: tue, 24 mar 1998 11:36:12 -0500
in rural carbon county, pa, a group of men were drinking beer and
discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home owned by irving
michaels, age 27. the men were firing at a raccoon that was wandering
by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim and, despite the
estimated 35 shots the group fired, the animal escaped into a
3-foot-diameter drainage pipe some 100 feet away from mr. michaels's
deck.
determined to terminate the animal, mr. michaels retrieved a can of
gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal
out. after several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, michaels
emptied the entire 5 gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried to ignite
it again, to no avail.
not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined mr. michaels
proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the sloping
pipe to toss the match. the subsequent rapidly-expanding fireball
propelled mr. michaels back the way he had come, though at a much higher
rate of speed. he exited the angled pipe "like a polaris missile leaves
a submarine," according to witness joseph mcfadden, 31. mr. michaels was
launched directly over his own home, right over the heads of his
astonished friends, onto his front lawn.
in all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air. "there was a doppler
effect to his scream as he flew over us," mcfadden reported, "followed
by a loud thud.". amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries. "it was
actually pretty cool," michaels said, "like when they shoot someone out
of a cannon at the circus. i'd do it again if i was sure i wouldn't get
hurt."
i wonder what happened to the raccoon. . . .
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