SC> if he is out stop to talk to him. I don't know if this would be a
SC> good idea or not. Our main plan is to visit the churches there
SC> and ask if he belongs to any of them and talk to a priest or
SC> minister first.
Risky, I'ld say, to talk to anyone about such a personal thing when you're
not even sure it's your father there...
SC> Can anyone give me a good idea on how to do this very
SC> carefully? I don't want the man to start out hating me. HELP!!!
Is it possible to call first? Just make an appointment to see him? If so,
you could ask if he ever knew a lady by your birth mothers name. If he says
yes, you could tell him you are working on your geneology and wondered if
he could help.
On the phone, or in person, you should, if he remembers her, tell him about
your birth and your father is unknown. Ask if he might know who your father
is...or if it possibly could be him or someone he knows, something in that
line. Play it by ear from there.
Talking to a priest or pastor would be the last thing I would do because
you are casting suspision on him and may damage his reputation. It is a
very private matter. Please respect his privacy and keep it that way. You
need to confirm if this is your father if you can. If there is no other
way, I say approach him privately, by yourself. If you must be accompanied
by your Uncle, please have him wait in the car while you do this.
If it looks as if this man remembers you b-mom and thinks he could be your
father, then and only then you might ask if he would like to meet your
Uncle...but I wouldn't even do this if you think he's buckling even a little.
Have your name address and phone number written on an index card in bold, 
large
letters and if he has a problem remembering, ask him to call (collect if need
be) if he remembers anything that may help you.
That's all I can think of right now, but do be careful not to jeapordize any
personal secrets or heart-breaks. If he never knew, then you should say you
were told that he might be your father and you want some sort of confermation
if it is possibly true or definately false.
Good Luck, you have a serious decision to make.
Julie
... Seek and ye shall find...keep the faith...faith is the miricle!
--- Alexi/Mail 2.02b (UNREG)
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