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http://www.dallasnews.com/sports

Triple H should try performance-enhancing his brain (3/19)
 
11:01 PM CST on Thursday, March 18, 2004

The Shakedown is a proponent of shutting the mouths of all
entertainers and athletes. Why do we need to know what some dude with
no education who happens to have been in a movie thinks about foreign
policy?

Do we really need to know what the wide receiver thinks about the head
coaching moves of someone who has been coaching since before he was
born?

That's why The Shakedown advocates quoteless news stories. Who cares
what these people have to say? Entertain us and go home. And that's
exactly what Triple H needs to do.

After Sunday's WrestleMania, H was on WFAN radio in NYC talking about
steroids in sports. He said that if steroids are performance-enhancing
drugs then "you need to outlaw weightlifting and cardio because they
are performance enhancing, too."

And The Game wasn't joking. After all, when's the last time a joke has
been cracked on that crusty station?

Flat out, what a stupid thing to say. The Shakedown will have to check
the tape as to the last time a sitting U.S. president mentioned cardio
and weightlifting as something that needed to be cracked down on
during a State of the Union address.

As normal, The Game grabbed the spotlight from what was a wonderful
weekend in New York.

SEE YA 

Brock Lesnar is taking his toys and going home. The former WWE champ
hauled off and quit the E last week, saying he was burned out on the
wrestling lifestyle and that he wanted to try to make his hometown
Minnesota Vikings. Hey, if Chad Hutchinson can get a huge contract
after whiffing at baseball, why not Brock Lesnar?

In the last month, Lesnar bought a personal plane to take him to and
fro. Wrestlers being worse than third-graders, Lesnar was chided in
the back for not being one of the boys. Lesnars attitude may have
taken a turn for the worse the past few months, but it's ridiculous to
think he couldn't do his job just because he wasn't traveling
commercially to events.

As far as Lesnar making the Vikings? Hey, stranger things have
happened in Minnesota to wrestlers taking long-shot jumps.

ON THE TEXAS TRAIL 

Former SMU footballer "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan has found a new career.
Duggan is the judge on a show in the Daytona Beach, Fla., area called
Biker's Court. The show has it all: bikinis, dudes in biker gear and
midgets. Yep, "Hacksaw" carries the 2x4 on the show. ... The Rock,
full movie-shill mode, will be the grand marshal at the NASCAR race at
the Texas Motor Speedway on April 4. ... Nidia, a Houston gal, is no
longer on the Angle family tree. She broke off her engagement to Eric
Angle, Kurt's brah. ... Stone Cold's ex, Debra Marshall, has put her
wedding ring on eBay. If you've got Shakedown Editor money, go ahead
and put down the $200,000 starting bid. Portions of the money will go
to victims of spousal abuse. ... Eddie Guerrero's new T-shirt is a
knockoff of the old Scarface movie. It sold out Sunday at Mania. Good
to see the El Paso native doing so well. Good man, that Eddie
Guerrero. ... Speaking of good men, good to see Paul Bearer, formerly
Percy Pringle back in his Dallas days, returning to the E. Always good
to have a George Jones fan around the company. ... Shawn Michaels'
crimson mask Sunday at Mania was treated nicely with stitches.

IN BOX 

Q: Hey Shakedown, how long do you think Chris Benoit will hold the
title?

Aaron, Oklahoma City 

A: Aaron, the short answer: Until Triple H decides he wants it back. 

Longer answer: Chris Benoit has deserved a shot for a long time. His
best buddy, Eddie Guerrero, won the WWE Title and house shows and
revenue has been up since. Eddie's run is a result of fans pushing and
cheering and pushing and cheering for the Texan. Finally, he was given
a chance at the top, and it's working out.

Same happened for Benoit. Benoit toiled for years in the indys, Japan,
India and many other foreign ports. He was always considered too
short, too bad on the mike, too something. Now, he's considered the
best of the RAW guys. Fans will make sure the Rabid Wolverine will get
his just due. Much deserved from where The Shakedown sits.

PINPOINTS 

Kurt Angle's neck problems are becoming problematic. The Shakedown's
Olympic Hero was removed from house shows recently after reporting
tingling in his arms. Angle opted for the quick-fix neck surgery
instead of the long-term fix that Austin, Chris Benoit, Rhyno and Edge
had. Angle says he's in for the long haul. Don't count on that. ...
Many Smackdown workers didn't find out about Vince McMahon ' s draft
lottery bombshell on RAW on Monday until the show actually aired.
That's some nice communication with the most vital cog in your
business. ... In St. Petersburg, Fla., Sunday's WrestleMania broadcast
turned into a nudie broadcast for the 1,500 in the area who bought the
show. Cincinnati Mania subscribers also went the porn route for a bit
when the cable signal got mixed up. The cable company in St.
Petersburg is offering a $25 coupon. ... The latest Maxim mag has an
interview with The Rock. ... E veteran Test wasn't on the Mania card.
Does he really care? He's dating Stacy Keibler. ... The E is adding
two pay-per-view events to its calendar, one in June and one in
January of next year. ... Edge is staying on the RAW roster. ... John
Cena has a CD that will be released this summer. Cena's great, but
that will be bad. ... Lex Luger is working NWA-TNA shows, but because
he can't legally drive to Nashville from Atlanta, Johnny Swinger is
behind the wheel.


--- Internet Rex 2.29