Message-ID: 

OK, here are our dollar ratings, with some commentary.  First of all, 
we're going to give each match at least a dollar if we give it anything 
at all; we figure that if a show makes it to WM, it's worth at least a 
buck, or it isn't worth anything.  And we're going in 25-cent incriments.

> 1...  John Cena (9'14" brass knux -> 2nd FU -> pin) The Big Show
>       Cena wins WWE United States Championship

Me:    $3.00
Mary:  $2.00

Result as expected.  We both think it should have been longer, 
especially for this PPV.  Also, why couldn't they let Cena have a clean 
win?  He's given Show the FU at least twice before.  The way he won 
cheapens the win.

> 2...  Sudden Death Fatal 4-Way
> 
>       van Dam (7'52" Five Star frog splash -> pin) Conway

Me:    $2.00
Mary:  $2.00

Frankly, neither of us cared who won.  the RAW brand tag team division 
needs new blood, and RVD & Booker T just ain't it.

> 3...  Christian (14'54") Chris Jericho

Me:    $5.00
Mary:  $3.00

Again, it could have been longer.  This completes Jericho's face turn, 
and ends the "love affair" with Trish.  We wonder how she's going to 
explain/justify her heel turn.

> 4...  Hanidcap Match
>       Orton (17'01" RKO -> pin) Foley

Me:    $2.00
Mary:  $3.00

Mary was expecting the Rock to turn on Foley.  I thought they would let 
Foley win this match.  I think he and Orton need to have a one-on-one 
match with no interference, and if Foley loses, he's gone for good.  
They could let Foley win; Orton doesn't need a win against Foley to keep 
his heat.

> 5...  Playboy Evening Gown Match - pinfall or submission only
>       Wilson (2'34") Jackie

Me:    $3.00
Mary:  $3.00

I'm surprised that either of us is rating this match this high, but we 
found it entertaining, and just the right length of time.  Sure, the 
wrestling skills exhibited were minimal at best, but the entertainment 
factor gave it some extra weight.

> 6...  Cruiserweight Open
>       o WWE Cruiserweight Champion Chavo Guerreo (10'30") Mysterio

Me:    $4.00
Mary:  $4.00

So we got to see the Ultimo Shockmaster, and found that the Flash is 
really Rey Mysterio.  When they announced that Chavo had number 10, we 
figured he would keep his belt.  I think that Noble and Nunzio are two 
of the best wrestlers in the cruiserweight division.  Most of the 
remainder are spot masters, acrobats, and flyers; nothing wrong with 
that, but for pure wrestling, it's N and N.  Nunzio-Noble had the best 
wrestling match of the Open.

> 7...  Interpromotional Contest
>       Goldberg (13'43" jackhammer -> pin) Brock Lesnar

Me:    $8.00
Mary:  $5.00

I think that just about everyone was surprised by Goldberg's winning, 
unless the rumors of Brock quitting the E and going into pro football 
are true; I had not heard that rumor until the announcers mentioned it.  
I think they said it (unless it is true) to try to account for the 
"Goodbye" song/chant.

> 8...  Sudden Death Fatal 4-way
>       Rikishi (6'03" Samoan Drop -> pin) Doug

Me:    $1.00
Mary:  $3.00

Smackdown needs to improve the tag-team division, also.  Get rid of 
Rikishi, or put him in comedy mid-card matches.  Make Scotty a singles 
wrestler, in the upper mid card.  For some reason, we don't like Hass 
and Benjamin; maybe they'd do better as singles wrestlers.  The Bashams 
are improving and should get the belts back, and form the nucleus of the 
division.

> 9...  Hair vs. Title
>       WWE Women's Champion Victoria (4'54") Molly Holly

Me:    $5.00
Mary:  $3.00

Result as expected.  Victoria is improving, and she had the best worker 
in the women's division to carry her.

> 10... WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero (21'34" foot on ropes ->
pin) Kurt Angle

Me:    $15.00
Mary:  $10.00

Again, as expected.  These two can be as good as Angle-Benoit, but they 
didn't quite make it there.

> 11... Undertaker (7'46" tombstone -> pin) Kane
>       Undertaker was led to the ring by Paul Bearer

Me:    $4.00
Mary:  $3.00

We would have been surprised had Taker not won.  When we saw the urn 
Monday night, I predicted that Bearer would return.  Taker's costume was 
terrible; except for the hat, it was almost the same as the American Bad 
Ass outfit.  His face is too weathered and aged for this gimmick to work 
without a hell of a lot of makeup.  Also, his wrestling style was still 
that of the Bad Ass, and not of the original Taker.  The hybrid just did 
not work for me.

> 12... Triple Threat Match
>       Benoit (24'48" Crippler crossface) H

Me:    $20.00
Mary:  $18.00

We pretty much expected Benoit to win, but by beating Michaels, not HHH.  
Big props to HHH for doing a clean job to Benoit.  We did think that 
possibly, Trips would job to his buddy Michaels, who would drop the belt 
to Benoit on RAW; glad that it did not play out that way.

Totals.

Me:    $72.00
Mary:  $59.00

Since we split the $49.95 PPV fee, we both definitely got our money's 
worth.  Heck, the two heavyweight championship matches by themselves 
would have been worth it.

-- 
Never play strip tarot.


--- Internet Rex 2.29