In a msg on , Margaret Collins of 1:382/1009 writes:
 MC>   To not know reasons or have an understanding of why your mother 
 MC> gave you up for adoption must be very hard for you at times, but I 
 MC> do understand your birth mother's fear/reluctance of knowing you.
    
     It is hard at times, especially arround my birthday and xmas.
 MC>   My heart tells me everyday that I need to at least know if he is alive
 MC>   and doing well, but there is also the very real fear of rejection.
 MC>   There is also the very big fear of not living up to someone's
 MC>   expectations. (Will he think I am to ugly, not smart enough, 
 
    As his mother, I don't think he will have any expectations. He will be 
happy to just know who you are.
 MC>   My life when I gave birth was not a good one, and I was in no 
 MC> way prepared to raise a child in the circumstances that surrounded 
 MC> me. I realize that yes, there are programs like welfare and other 
 MC> programs, but I did not want him to go without the basic needs of life 
 MC> that I could not afford.
        As your son grows older, I think he will realize that it was not his 
fault that he wes given up. He will find out what money and bills are all 
about and be able to relate that back to the days when you were his age...I 
think he will understand. 
        Its not an easy thing not to have your parents, even if you adopted 
parents. I have ywt to meed any adopted person who is bitter towards his/her 
parents. Generally, I can understand why my mother had to give me up, and I 
believe your son will too.
        Bye for now, hope to hear from you soon!!
                        Derek Henderson
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