-=> Quoting Derek Henderson to Margaret Collins <=-
 DH> Hi Margaret, I'm 27 and was given up for adoption before I was even
 DH> born. You said that you have decided not to search for your son
 DH> becouse you didn't want his life turned arround. Well, I want you to
 DH> know that he feels the same way. Right now he doesn't know what the
 DH> "right" thing to do is. As far as you not being hie mother, I have to
 DH> disagree with you there. Despite who raised him, you are still his
 DH> mom, and until the day that he dies he WILL have a special place in
 DH> his heart for you. For whatever reason you had to give him up, I think
 DH> as he grows older he will realize what life is all about and come to
 DH> understand that you did what you did for him, not for yourself, or
 DH> becouse you didn't or still don't love him. 
 DH> I would really like to hear from you again. Perhaps both of us can
 DH> better understand the other side of our positions. Take care, and
 DH> please remember, you did what you as your sons mother thought was best
 DH> for your child. That in itself is perhaps the biggest act of love. 
 DH> Derek Henderson
Hello Derek,
  To not know reasons or have an understanding of why your mother gave
  you up for adoption must be very hard for you at times, but I do
  understand your birth mother's fear/reluctance of knowing you.
  My heart tells me everyday that I need to at least know if he is alive
  and doing well, but there is also the very real fear of rejection.
  There is also the very big fear of not living up to someone's
  expectations. (Will he think I am to ugly, not smart enough, ect...)
  My life when I gave birth was not a good one, and I was in no way
  prepared to raise a child in the circumstances that surrounded me. I
  realize that yes, there are programs like welfare and other programs,
  but I did not want him to go without the basic needs of life that I
  could not afford.
  When I found Ivan (The attorney I used), he was able to find parents
  that were desperate for a child, and were able to afford for a child
  more in life that I can probably even now give to my girls. I realize
  that money isn't everything, and that there are a lot of very happy
  people raising a family on very little income, but they are able to do
  that together with their spouse and have a family unit.
  I was able to know the complete background of the people who were
  adopting, and even offered the chance of meeting them, but I refused
  the meeting, knowing that if I knew who they were, and where they were
  from, it would make it so much harder for me to let go and to get on
  with the chore of living.
  Well, enough for now, I look foreward to hearing from you again, and
  thank you for taking the time to let me into your life for a bit.
  Take care,
  Margaret Collins
... A mind is a terrible thing to... OOOH!!! Animaniacs is on!
--- T.O.S.O.N. The BEST
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