GG> * Subj : On The Computer Too Long
GG> =============================================================

Alternatively....               [Err... taking notes Alex??? );-)]

           You know you are addicted to the Internet when...
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        * You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications
           Decency Act.
        * Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
        * Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
        * You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
        * You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no
           phone lines.
        * You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a
           cellular modem and a laptop.
        * All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster
           connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable         modem...T1...T3.
        * And even your night dreams are in HTML.
        * You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
        * Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a
           new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never
           had heart problems before.
        * You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved
           and you don't have a clue when it happened.
        * You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear
           if new e-mail arrives.
        * Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of
           what she looks like.
        * All of your friends have an {at} in their names.
        * When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all
           of them are already highlighted in purple.
        * Your dog or cat has its own home page.
        * You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
        * You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no
           idea where your children are.
        * You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it
           again.
        * You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and
           even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.
        * Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
        * Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on
           your favorite IRC channel.
        * You code your homework in HTML and give your tutor the URL.
        * You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends,
           because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
        * You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
        * You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you
           landscape.
        * You tell the cab driver you live at
                   http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
        * You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's
           got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
        * You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
        * Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
        * You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape
           1.1 or higher."
        * The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
        * You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in
           front of your computer with a toilet.
        * You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
        * You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.
        * Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you
           buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of
           you can chat.

        And last, but not least.........
        * As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road,
           your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.

   Ray.
@EOT:

--- Msged/2 4.00