re - how people can keep there faith in today's world - well my name is
Judy and I am an alcoholic and addict, I've been clean and sober over 
ten years, but the grace of a Higher Power - 'cause I sure as heck 
couldn't do it by myself and I sure as heck tried.
.
Before I came to the program I was quite religions and quite 
intellectual about it.  I studied comparitive religions and I got so 
that people had me teaching them religion - I was a clergy person in 
the religion of my choice, which did not require one to have papers as 
such.  (NeoPagan).  The funny part was, I was teaching others, but my 
own life was a mess. 
.
Through AA and Al-Anon and Survivors of Incest Anonymous - all using 
the same 12 spiritual steps, more or less - I learned to USE all the 
nice ideas I had before in my life and gradually my life became more 
and more effective.  When I first came around, I was pretty 
disillusioned with the whole spirittuality/religion thing.  So for a 
long time my Higher Power was my AA group and the fellowship as a whole
- as our literature points out, surely this is a power greater than 
myself, a group of people doing together what I couldn't do alone.
.
To "turn my will and life" over to this power I followed the 
suggestions of the group when made by individuals who had long-term 
consecutive periods of sobriety, who I wanted to become like as a sober
person.  This was a beginning.  And as long as I made an attempt on the
Higher Power "stuff" and did what I could honestly do today from where 
I was at in that moment, the Higher Power - whatever it was - did the 
rest and I stayed sober.
.
Eventually I graduated to including Nature as a Power Greater than 
myself that certainly could be very restful and very calming.  And as I
expanded my concept of the Higher Power to include Nature, Iwas able
to expand my spiritual practise from seeking and accepting guidance 
(G.O.D. can stand for Good Orderly Direction, Group of Drunks, etc)
to include meditation as well.  I expanded my attempt to surrender by 
trying to accept reality and life as it was, not as I wished it to be.
.
Eventually, after several years, I was able to say the "G" word - God -
without gagging and to accept prayer, much to my surprise.  I was also 
amazed to see myself returning to a religious membership of the same 
general type of that which I'd grown up in - something I swore I'd 
never do.  It took me about four years sober before this even 
tentatively began to happen in me - and it doesn't happen this way for 
everyone.  Everyone has to find their OWN spirituality and their OWN 
way to make it work in my life.
.
What has helped me to maintain my belief is that I do what is in front 
of me to do, whatever I am able to do to maintain whatever little seed 
of faith I have today, I do and the rest takes care of itself.  Of 
course I notice that the longer I am sober, the more footwork I seem to
be expected to do. For me today that means prayer, meditation, study, 
contact with other recovering people (meetings), etc.  When I first 
came around, going to a meeting was about all I could handle once or 
twice a day and that seemed to be enough to get me through another day 
- clean and sober.  Then the days turned into weeks and the weeks 
turned into months and the months turn into years - now the years have 
turned into a decade and I have no idea whatsoever how I survived it 
sober, clean and semi-xane.  
.
But for me it was all built on a foundation - that I am an alcoholic 
and an addict, which means I can't drink or drug in safety, as the 
first drink or drug will set off the physical compulsion or the 
phenomenon of craving that addictive people have that makes us 
physically need more.  I was blessed with a moment of clarity and I 
believed that, so I didn't drink or drug - and I did so consecutively, 
one day at a time.  This was all I could do at first.  Gradually, as I 
cleared up, I found a vague Higher Power that slowly and gradually 
became more personal and real to me - but I believe this was a fringe 
benefit of being sober and clean, FOR ME.  As I stayed sober and clean,
I found everything else falling into place so I ended up working the 
steps of recovery as they were laid out.
.
One of the explanations that helped me the most was that someone told 
me that AA was spiritual and not religious and that the difference 
between these two terms is that religion is for people afraid of going 
to hell, while spirituality is for those of us who've been there and 
found a way out.
.
Just do what you can today and God, as you understand - or don't 
understand - (God) will do what you can't.   This works best if you 
don't drink or drug today and one day at a time, consecutively, in my 
experience.  
--- TriToss (tm) Professional 11.0 - #66
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