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The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
New Midwest Wrestling's New Year's Resolution
1/25/2K3, Springfield, IL

This rap sheet is posted in http://www.newmidwest.com/forum,
news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info a newsgroup that many wrestling
organizations could utilize to spread info about their shows but don't, and
the archive of all the ones I've written are stored in
http://abermud.tripod.com/rapsheet.

Two months have passed between this show and the last show, but five members
of the NMW roster competed in another fed's show a couple weeks prior.  Two
of those people are Real World Jeremy and Michael Shard, both suffered
shoulder injuries at the end of the triple threat match for the NMW title.
They each were paired with partners and competed in a tag team tournament,
to see how well they could perform on their first match back from the DL.
Both seemed to have fully recovered and were ready to go for the title again
this evening, but alas, one week to go and Michael Shard had the bad luck of
suffering another injury, AWAY from the ring, caused by an old lady, behind
the wheel of a car traveling 45 mph, running a red light.

A roster retirement to pass along.  "The Discount Gigolo" Kenneth Mills has
put his wrestling career on hold due to the lack of time he has to put into
training.

The last rap sheet I wrote, there were a number of people complaining that I
rated the Tom Arson vs. Guy Smith multiple stips match too low.  But in a
poll asking which match was your favorite of the entire night, this match
ranked dead last in the voting.  So frankly, that shows me that I knew what
I was talking about.  Forgot a stopwatch, so times are rounded off to the
nearest minute.  Man for some reason when all these people retired at the
state, my free time vanished as well having to pick up the slack for all
these people that went away, thus the delay in writing this thing.

Your ring announcer is Jimmy "The Bruiser" Osbourne.

Central IL Title Match
[c]El Diablo Silverado (3-3) 5'8" 173lbs., Beardstown, IL vs. Britannico
Fantastico (debut) 5'10" 168lbs., Liverpool, England -- A new wrestler
debuts tonight, and he gets a title shot right off the bat?  Britannico is
dressed in a green mask with the UK flag on the side and wearing a shiny
blue shirt.  Trades of lockups and shoulderblocks, Japanese arm drag by
Fantastico, Silverado does one right back.  Fantastico hops off the ropes
into an arm vice, then locks in a crucifix armbar (Code Red).  Fantastico
gets a two count on a rollup, Silverado rolls him up for two, then a
tradeoff of multiple pinning combinations leads to a low blow by Fantastico.
Fantastico does a backward suplex for a two count.  A clothesline later,
Fantastico picks Silverado up, hangs him belly-to-back upside down locking
his arms around the legs, then hooks his legs around Silverado's shoulders
then falls forward, flopping Silverado on his face and himself on top, a
face-first piledriver, anyway this gets a two count.  About this point,
Fantastico shouts "SHUT UP!" in a very familiar voice, and gives himself
away as Bing Westlake who's supposed to be in retirement!  Irish whip into
the ropes, Fantastico falls out, fight outside as Silverado throws Bing into
the post.  Back inside, Irish whip into a back body drop by Silverado.
Silverado hops on Bing's shoulders and does a forward roll into a two count.
Clothesline, hip toss Silverado.  Bodyslam, flying head scissors gets a two
count for Silverado.  Bing tries a rollup for a two count.  Silverado slams
him for two.  Irish whip into the corner, Bing hangs Silverado on his back,
Silverado is trying to muscle him over for the sunset flip, snaps him over
and gets the three count.

WINNER and STILL CHAMP:  El Diablo Silverado pin -> (4-3) 8 mins. **˝

Silverado raises his belt, but Bing waffles him in the back and sets him up
for the Fameasser onto the belt but misses.  Silverado grabs him and knocks
him out with the Unprettier double-underhook DDT.  People shout to Silverado
to strip Bing of his mask but just walks off, until Stan Sallinger comes out
wondering who booked this match.  He tells Silverado to go back into the
ring and yank the mask off of Fantastico, which he does, and Bing Westlake
is hauled out of the building.  Well it didn't take long at all for Bing
Westlake to dishonor the loser leaves town stipulation, and he claimed he
was only going to be at the show to run the sound system.  Sallinger
recognizes Silverado for his championship, then talks about the vacant
title.  He was going to do another triple-threat match tonight, but
announces that Michael Shard was injured in an auto accident last week.
Crowd not happy, but Sallinger pulls out a t-shirt to give away and tosses
it to a group of kids in my section.  One kid caught it and others were
trying to steal it away from him, if they succeeded I would made them to
give it back.  Sallinger announces that for the vacant title tonight, it
will be Rip Mystic vs. Real World Jeremy.  FINALLY, the one-on-one match we
were supposed to get so many months ago that the Honor Roll tag team stole
away!  Stan calls out ROB in a slip of the tongue, who PHD took it upon
himself to award out in his absence, to come to the ring to relinquish the
belt.  Rip comes out to his old theme music "Just One of Those Days".  Stan
notes the lack of control over the past show, but its not your title right
now.  Fan shouts "Kick his head off!"  Rip says, "Yeah,
maybe I should!
Normally Stan, you walk around with your head so far up your butt you wear
it as a hat!  However, this is New Years Resolution!"  Fans act retarded in
their reaction.  Notes the three men and the fans were ripped off in
November and gives back the belt.  Music hits and guess who comes out, Tom
Arson.  "Bare with me, ladies and gentlemen, you forgive him for what he's
done!"  Gets all mad that the fans have just forgiven Rip for his behavior
the past couple of months.  Tom Arson states he's put his body on the line
for the fans.  Some applause.  Points out the blood stains on the mat that's
his.  Gripes about Rip and all it took was an apology.  Tells everyone to
kiss his arse.  Where's my respect.  Rip gets in his face and screams bloody
murder and wants to fight him right now!  Now the heavy hitter himself,
"Alpha Male" Guy Smith comes out.  He says he was the only top-tier
performer last month.  Crowd starts shouting back at him.  He says look at
all this baby blue, they should just give him the title.  Real World Jeremy
now comes out.  Let's get everything straight, Tom Arson, this may be all of
your blood, Rip this is all your sweat, but I know all of these tears are
Guy Smith's.  Crybaby chant starts.  RWJ says he beat Rip, Arson and can
beat Smith.  Make the match any way you want, but I'm going home with the
title.  Stan gripes to Arson that title shots are not being handed out like
candy, they are earned.  AMEN!  Anyone look at Arson's win-loss record?  Rip
wants Arson in the match, so Stan says if the wrestlers are running the show
he's gonna be in there as the referee.  It's a fatal four-way match for the
title tonight!

Jimmy "The Bruiser" announces the next show is February 22nd, and
if you buy
your tickets tonight it's five bucks, but afterward the tickets are eight
bucks in advance and ten bucks at the door.

1st Contenders Match - Central IL Title
"The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom (1-4) 5'10"
170lbs., Rushville, IL
vs. Eric Logan (1-3) 5'10" 170lbs. Palm Springs, FL -- A set of trading
lockups, rolling on the mat, bouncing off the ropes, elbow, baseball slide,
leap frog, Logan jumps over, Earl with a takedown, Logan trades armbars.
Irish whip and a trip into the ropes from Logan setting Earl up for the 619
but misses.  Earl hooks in the surfboard, then a punch to the neck.  Earl
dishes out some shots in the corner, rolls Logan for two.  Earl attempts to
use the spinning leg neckbreaker (Randy Orton's finisher) but Logan grabs
the leg and puts on a leglock.  Logan with a flapjack gets a two count.
Bodyslam Logan, climbs to the top rope and does a moonsault but misses Earl
as he rolls out.  Billy Grissom comes out with a chair as the ref checks on
Earl and whacks Logan in the back.  Earl glares at Billy for what he did and
climbs to the top rope and hits a top rope bulldog for the three count.
Arrgh.  Come on Billy, you know better than that.

WINNER: "The Cruiserweight Redneck" Earl Grissom pin -> (2-4) 8 mins. **

Billy for some reason wants to beat on Logan but Earl pulls him off and
restrains him in the corner.  Earl walks over to Logan to apologize and
shake hands.

Doug comes to the ring after being introduced and takes the mike and gives
himself a "superior" introduction and gives LPC a vastly inferior, soft,
quick intro.

Lucious P. Coltrane (debut) 5'10" 230lbs. "Land of Lucious"
vs. "Danger"
Doug Frazier...err Fraze (debut) 6'6" 275lbs.Chicago, IL -- Frazier,
errr...Fraze for some reason or another changed his last name, making it not
flow off the tongue like it did previously.  This is the first singles match
both these men have had since NMW came into being.  Lockup, Doug shoves LPC
to the corner.  LPC gets an armbar but is shoved to the corner.  LPC with an
Irish whip and a hiptoss, and Doug bails outside.    LPC baseball slides
into Fraze, fight outside as Fraze throws LPC into the post and slams his
head on the apron.  LPC is put back in the ring but his legs are wrapped
around the ring post as Doug crotches him into the post.  Doug slams the
side of the knees into the post and into the ring apron.  Fight continues in
the corner, Irish whip and a neckbreaker from LPC.  Suplex by LPC gets a two
count.  LPC works on Doug's leg twisting it around.  Doug makes the ref look
away as he does another low blow and clotheslines him down for only a one
count.  Doug goes back to the leg, takes him down.  Doug climbs to the top
rope, LPC stands up, but Doug loses his balance and has to hop off into a
punch from LPC.  LPC hops on the 2nd rope but hurts himself foolishly trying
a knee drop and misses completely.  Doug tackles LPC's leg and locks in the
figure four!  LPC resists the pain and manages to turn it over but Doug
reaches the ropes for the break.  Both on their feet as they go for a
slugfest.  Irish whip, LPC with the Thesz Press and punches away at Doug's
head.  LPC does the Fisherman's suplex for two.  Doug spears LPC for a two.
Irish whip and a side slam from Doug, tries for a powerbomb, LPC blocks it,
Doug clotheslines him down, goes for another Last Ride powerbomb attempt,
gets him up but LPC punches his way out, KICK WHAM STUNNER and nearly
botched the move, as Fraze takes it at an awkward angle, but it's enough to
get a three count.  Match just dragged on ever so slowly.

WINNER: Lucious P. Coltrane pin -> (1-0) 13 mins. *˝

Now for the next mystery match, Sage Ramsey comes out and introduces his new
tag team partner Jason Wells.  Wells apologizes for his actions the past
year and was blinded by a twinkie eating fat man and loves us all.  And so
it's time to see what the two big men as a team can do.  PHD comes out as a
twinkie chant rings out at him.  He says he made a champ of Shard and he
walked out on him.  That's fine, he thought he was a bigger man than PHD,
but no one is bigger than PHD.  Errr...physically speaking he has a point
there.  Smirk.  He talks about what he came to do and eats hostess snacks.
He screams at Sage & Wells for beating the crap out of him two months ago
and leaving him for dead.  "You deserved it!" chant rings out. 
PHD is back,
and you still have to deal with him.  He's been here a year and took his
fair share of bumps and now it's your turn.  He's brought in two guys to
destroy the two of you, it's not about championships anymore, they are here
to kill you.  He introduces the handstand record holders at Southern
Illinois University, Toga Steve and Garret Ryan.  Ryan says if your fat,
ugly, or a redneck, sit down and shut up.  Tells the men we're not scared,
we think you're a couple of viginas, and runs thru a litany of viginas.
Wants to get it on.  Tells them quit trying to be like Toga Steve.  Ryan
won't shut up and talks about what jobs we supposedly hold to buy tickets.
Shiny Overrated Bly-me!  Ring the bell already!

Sage Ramsey (5-2) 6'4" 268lbs. Peoria, IL & Jason Wells (2-4)
6'0" 230lbs.
Kansas City, MO (team debut) vs. Sigma Omega Beta (1-0) Carbondale, IL “Big
Man on Campus” Garret Ryan (1-0) 6'2" 232lbs. & “Toga” Steve Fisher (1-2)
5'10" 240lbs. w/ Prof. Philip H. Dempsey -- Steve and Jason start, they
trade off shoulder blocks but neither can knock the other over.  They each
tag out, Garret and Sage in.  Lockup and a slap from Ryan.  Back body drop
from Sage and Ryan bails.  Ryan punches Sage in the corner, tags Steve,
double clothesline, the frat boys double team Sage with kicks.  Suplex from
Steve gets two.  Tag Ryan, who throws a punch from the top rope.  Ryan has
Sage on the mat in the corner and just stands on his chest.  Knee to the
back and an forearm drop gets a two count.  Sage comes back with three
clotheslines in a row.  But Sage's arm is hurting, and Ryan dumps him
outside and hurls him into the wooden rail.  Ryan tosses him back in covers
for a two count.  Tag Steve.  Ryan hits Wells, they squabble as Steve and
PHD work over Sage.  Elbows from Steve get a two count.  A double axe and a
dumb cover gets two but no pin.  Tag Ryan.  Irish whip to the corner and a
clothesline smash from Ryan sends Sage to the mat.  Ryan on the top rope
does a forward flip but misses entirely.  Sage crawls toward his corner by
Ryan stops him and tags Steve.  Toga man splashes Sage for a two count.
Camel clutch is locked in but Sage won't quit.  Wells argues with Ryan and
PHD across the ring.  Tag Ryan, who spits on Wells and as the ref keeps
Wells out they double team Sage some more.  Irish whip, but Sage catches
Ryan for a powerslam and a two count.  Sage drags himself over to his corner
and finally gets the tag.  Wells cleans house and all four guys are
brawling.  Wells and Toga pair off in a corner, Sage and Ryan pair off in
the other corner.  The ref tries to put two of them back outside but gets
shoved down, dunno who did it, but the ref decides to just stop the match
entirely and DQ everyone.  Arrgh, a freakin' draw???  Well that lowered my
match rating.  They continue to brawl until the frat boys run off.

NO WINNER: Double DQ -> 16 mins. ***

Wacko cult leader RON comes out with his man and wastes everyone's time by
giving a sermon while Khaos Kidd is running around with a bowl taped to a
stick with RON's photo in the plate seeking donations.  He accepts cash or
the plastic.  Some people try to discard their trash or spit in it, but
total amount of money actually donated comes to just six cents.  The girls
sitting behind me keep telling me that "RON is hot, doesn't he make you
hot?"  I reply back, "Yeah he makes me hot all right, hot under
the collar!"
He babbles a large amount of completely incoherent nonsense about his
interaction with a priestess.  Hearing it the second and third time on tape
and I still can't comprehend his gobblidy-gook.  Thankfully, this retarded
speech is interrupted by Billy's music and RON complains that he's not done.
Yes you are you idiot.  "STOP THE CULT OF RON!"  BTW, for someone who has
acted all scared of me, he keeps wanting to bring me into his fold.  Now
THAT'S scary.

Don't call me "The Khaos Kidd" no more Steven Bishop (0-4)
5'7" 200lbs.
Springfield, IL w/ Cult Leader RON vs. Billy "The Kid" Grissom
(1-1) 5'10"
170lbs., Riverton, IL -- What's with these kids?  Billy just decides to
interfere in a match, and Khaos Kidd is still pretending to be a member of
"Right To Censor".  RON freely admits giving Khaos Kidd every
loss he's ever
had, and yet he's the most desirable person to have as a manager?  Name
change or not, I'm gonna have fun with the battle of the kids.  Your referee
as for most of the nights bouts is Tommy the Ref.  Khaos Kidd arm twists
Billy the Kid, reverses, neckbreaker from Billy the Kid.  Kidd responds by
beating down Billy, suplex from Bishop gets two.  Irish whip to the ropes
but Billy The Kid gets a sunset flip for two.  Billy with a flying
headscissors and a superkick gets a two count.  Billy with a Russian Leg
Sweep.  Kidd gets back up and powerbombs Billy.  Elbows to the back of Billy
on the canvas.  Khaos Kidd tries another powerbomb on The Kid but he grabs
his head at the peak and face slams him down ala Kidman (heh heh heh ha!).
Bodyslam Kidd gets two.  Irish whip to the corner Billy yanks Kidd's head
sending him down, then does a Tornado DDT.  Wacko cult leader RON gets on
the apron and picks a fight with Billy, Irish whip into the ropes as the ref
is looking the wrong direction giving RON the chance to whack Billy with the
loaded book.  Khaos Kidd scoops him up sideways, spins him around as he side
slams him down in what he calls "The 7th Day" and gets the three count.  Oh
geez, I knew the book would be in play again.

WINNER: Steven Bishop pin -> (1-4) 7 mins. **

#1 Contenders Match - NMW Title
Scotty Cash (5-1) 5'9" 170lbs. "Yo Mammas House" vs. Dredd
Walker (3-3-1)
5'11" 210lbs. "Purgatory" -- Cash comes out to an entirely
different song,
why did management not like Cash coming out to "Lose Yourself" by Eminem???
This theme can be used by pretty much anybody, and is a natural theme for
the shows American Idol and Star Search.  But it fit him the best and better
than all the other tunes he has used.  Change it back, NOW.  Cash argues
with the crowd telling them to quit it and bashes Dredd Walker over the
inferior competition he's beaten lately, those being Khaos Kidd and Leo
Lagossi.  See, even a heel like Scotty Cash has no problem saying RON's
acolytes suck.  Dredd may have been the first title holder of the company
(before it was an incorporated company under the NMW name that is) but he's
an has-been with 17 hip and knee replacements.  After he beats the crap out
of Dredd, he can look forward to social security.  Slugfest and Cash bails.
Headlock Cash, fight outside.  Irish whip Cash bails out, back in, there's a
trading of headlocks to the mat.  Cash with an armbar, reversed, knee to the
gut.  Cash fights back, chokes Dredd on the ropes.  Cash charges across the
ring and does the rocking horse on him.  Goes for a cover but only gets two,
then tries to choke pin him.  Suplex from Cash gets two.  A bodyslam from
Cash gets two.  Sheesh, one move between pin covers doesn't work guys, I'm
seeing too much of that lately.  Another illegal choke hold uses as a
pinning combination that the ref doesn't count.  Irish whip and a
clothesline from Cash gets two.  Dredd fights back, but Cash sends him back
down with a low blow.  That only gets two so Cash powerslams him and it
STILL only gets two.  Irish whip Cash, reverse, clothesline Dredd.  Dredd
goes outside and does a missile dropkick but misses Cash.  Scotty bails to
the floor, but Dredd goes back up to the top rope and leaps off
clotheslining Cash to the floor.  Dredd tosses him back in but Cash does his
third low blow in the match.  You know I'd be wearing a groin guard if I was
wrestling Cash from now on.  Cash wraps Dredd's arms around his neck and
chokes him with it.  Slugfest, Irish whip Cash thrown to the corner, Dredd
misses with the splash.  Cash to the top rope, double axe handle to the
back.  He goes for another one, but it's blocked and Dredd gives Scotty the
Bonazi Drop.  Guy Smith runs out to attack Dredd, but misses and nearly
crashes into Scotty.  Dredd nails them both, knocking Smith outside and
Dredd puts Scotty into the unofficially named finisher the Dreddnaught face
first powerbomb for the three count.  Over reliance on lackeys caught up
with Cash.

WINNER: Dredd Walker pin -> (4-3-1) 13 mins. ***˝

NMW Championship Fatal Four Way
"MPW Heavy Hitter, NMW Alpha Male, Fans All Female" Guy Smith (5-3) vs. Rip
Mystic (7-2) vs. Real World Jeremy (3-1-1) vs. "The Spectre" Tom Arson
(1-4) -- Your referee is President Stan Sallinger.  Four corners rules,
wrestler can tag anyone he wishes.  Smith and Rip start.  I have no idea
whether this was supposed to be a one fall match or elimination rules,
turned out to be one fall alas.  Rip kicks Guy, shoulder block Rip, shoulder
block Guy, hiptoss from Rip followed up by a drop kick.  Tag RWJ.  RWJ & Rip
double team Guy.  RWJ and Rip run around the ring but no one gets the
advantage.  RWJ tags Arson.  Arson bodyslams Rip.  Irish whip to the corner,
tag Guy, Irish whip to the other corner, Arson sends Smith to splash Rip but
misses.  Smith outside, Rip does a twisting suicide dive on Smith.  Back in,
Rip does a standing moonsault on Guy for two.  Smith with a side suplex.
Somewhere in there RWJ gets an "All Female" chant going.  Tag Arson.  RWJ
goes after Smith every so often when he's standing on his side of the ring.
Double suplex, choke hold on Rip.  Bodyslam from Arson gets two.  Tag Smith.
Rip with a sunset flip for two.  Guy with a belly-to-belly suplex, cover
broken up by RWJ.  Tag Arson.  Low blow on Rip.  Bodyslam and a leg drop
gets a two count.  Tag Smith.  Irish whip into a side suplex gets two for
Guy.  Rip superkicks Arson and gets away from Guy to tag RWJ.  Slams Arson
and Smith.  Does the ten punch count on Guy in the corner.  Tag Rip.
Another ten punches on Guy then seven chops.  Irish whip and a chop from
Rip.  Rip spinebusters Smith for a two count that's broken up.  Tag RWJ.
Suplex RWJ on Guy gets two.  Side slam RWJ gets two.  RWJ snaps Smith's head
on the top rope and tags Rip.  Rip with a bodyslam, climbs to the top and
dives off but misses Smith.  Guy with a choke hold.  Rip with a jumping
enzugiri, then a DDT.  Rip back to the top rope and hits the 450 splash.
Cover is broken up at two by Arson who proceeds to kick Sallinger in the
head for the KO.  All four men jump in to brawl  RWJ in the ring, puts Guy
Smith in a very high spinebuster.  Rip and Arson knock each other out on the
outside.  Goes for a cover but there's no ref.  RWJ yells for another
referee to come out, Tommy the Ref runs out but Scotty Cash follows close
behind and nails him in the back of the head.  RWJ pedigrees Guy, Cash jumps
in the break it up but nails Guy by mistake.  Cash is thrown out, RWJ tries
for a suplex, Cash grabs his legs under the bottom rope, Stan Sallinger
crawls over to count while RWJ struggles in vain to get a shoulder up and
Guy gets a three count.  Arrgh!  Tainted tainted tainted!  Cash jumps in the
ring celebrating like a maniac, RWJ and Rip back up and a brawl ensues, Guy
Smith and Scotty Cash beat down RWJ and throw him out then they escape the
chaos and run.  Rip is knocked down by Arson, RWJ ends up outside screaming
about being robbed and doesn't ever look back in the ring to see that Arson
has a chair and jams it in the throat of Rip.  Arson picks up Rip and
performs a spike piledriver.  Arson grabs the chair again and jams it into
the side of the knee of Rip and Sallinger multiple times before leaving.

WINNER and NEW CHAMP: "The Alpha Male" Guy Smith pin -> (6-3)
18 mins. ***˝

Surprising fact that Guy Smith and Tom Arson were never in the ring together
facing each other.  RWJ and Rip didn't have much action in the ring against
each other.  Instead this played out as a Rip & RWJ vs. Smith & Arson tag
team match when the two "teams" had grudges against each other. 
Funny thing
that no attempt was made to break up the teamwork that developed by putting
the two members of one "team" against each other and brew dissention.
Course the one true team had a member that wasn't supposed to be in the
match!  Wasn't crazy about tagging three guys with losses, too many more
four corner matches and soon no one will have a winning record.  *shrug*

Next show is Final Reckoning on February 22nd and the matchups that are
certain are (c)Guy Smith vs. Dredd Walker for the NMW Title, (c)El Diablo
Silverado vs. Earl Grissom for the CI Title.


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