You wrote in a message to Matrika,...
[whole lot munched out of your message]
GA>I wanted to drink a few time today but I kept thinking about all the 
ffort
GA>I've put into it so far and how my sister would be disapointed if I did 
drin
GA>The felling of disapointing my sister just makes me fell sick inside so I
GA>walked away from the temptations for one more day... Hmm, How long is this
GA>going to go on for, for God Sakes!!!  It sure sucks...  :-) You know...!!!
GA>I can't help but wonder if I'm going to be able to hold off for another 
day.
GA>Every morning it's been the same thing. As soon as I open my eyes the 
though
GA>comes to mind... Am I going to make it today??? Or am I going to *F* 
hings
GA>once more??? Not the best way to start your day off. Now is it ?
GA>I hate myself when I drink... And now I hate to drink... Guess I'll have 
o
GA>learn some coping skills if I'm going to make it throught this in one 
piece.
First of all, you must think of you first! You are in a selfish program!
Now, someone reads the word "selfish" and thinks of keeping all the
goodies for themselves.  I've been sober a little more than 14 years,
and I see the words "selfish program" as definite postive words! I must
be selfish, in that my sobriety MUST come first ahead of all things.
Without sobriety I lose contact with my Higher Power and I would have no
one to talk to except myself in my drunken state. My fellow drinkers
would be glad to see me again, 'cause I always bought a bunch of rounds.
So, disappointing your sister doesn't count.  Being sober gave you the
ability to mow her lawn.
 * SLMR 2.1a * ... Don't quit five minutes before the miracle happens.
--- WM v3.01/93-0495
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