Hi Matrika,...
Thanks for the message... It just gos to show that I'm not the only one who 
lived in the dumps cause I blow off all my cash on drugs and alcohol! Thank 
God those days are long past... And never If I may say so, to return.
No dougth I've learn allot from my past mistakes, but I can't help but imagin 
who I would be If I had made deffrent choices for myself in life. Mabye I'd 
have something to look back on too now.. Then again, who know's, I could be 
worst off. Better just take like as It comes. 
So your a A.A. Die hard then Matrika... Mabey I'll find my way into one of 
your mettings someday! Strange things have been know'n to happen. ;-)
And who know's, It just may be the thing I've been looking for...
But I dought it very mush! You see, I don't like to be around allot of 
stranger. In fact, that's one of my best drinking excusses. You know, I have 
to have at least a six pack if I'm going to go!!!  Umm, that was my best one.
And it always worked... Always!  Well... No More.
I wanted to drink a few time today but I kept thinking about all the effort 
I've put into it so far and how my sister would be disapointed if I did 
rink.
The felling of disapointing my sister just makes me fell sick inside so I 
walked away from the temptations for one more day... Hmm, How long is this 
going to go on for, for God Sakes!!!  It sure sucks...  :-) You know...!!!
I can't help but wonder if I'm going to be able to hold off for another day. 
Every morning it's been the same thing. As soon as I open my eyes the thought 
comes to mind... Am I going to make it today??? Or am I going to *F* Things 
up once more??? Not the best way to start your day off. Now is it ? 
I hate myself when I drink... And now I hate to drink... Guess I'll have to 
learn some coping skills if I'm going to make it throught this in one piece. 
Thanks for letting me get some of that stuff out Matrika... 
I fell a little better now. Thanks!!!  :-)
Take Care
GazOo
 
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