re - one never ending glass of beer - I'm grateful to an oldtimer in AA
and a bunch of his friends who taught me why one is never enough.  He 
explained we - alcoholics, that is - have a physical compulsion or a 
phenomena of physical craving so that the first drink (for an alcoholic
) sets this off and makes us want M  O  R  E!!!!.  In fact that is how 
he used to say it, "one beer tastes like more".
.
Before this I never knew why I'd buy wine to drink "like a lady" 
planning to have one glass with supper each evening so that a large 
bottle would last 'til my next paycheck came in.  But it never did.
If I started to drink, I never knew where that drink would lead me.
Where it eventually led me was to living in a shelter, eating in a soup
kitchen, after having just come out of a state hospital - having lost 
my 2 sons and having become Legally (NOT totally) blind.  And I still 
couldn't quit on my own - not 'til I got honest with myself about my 
BOOZE problem and went to AA.  Even then it never worked for a very 
long time until I got willing to do what I was told there, the way it 
was told to me.
.
That oldtimer and his pals used to also say that, as long as I didn't 
pick up the first drink,  I could do virtually anything I set my heart 
on, if I was willing to work at it.  I've found this to be so.   Many 
other factors in my life made it a mess long before I got sober.  So in
sobriety I didn't get the kids back - or the husband, thank GOD.  I 
didn't get my cats back or anything else.  Some people do.  What I got 
was my own problems back - and the oppurtunity to WORK on them, sober, 
just like anyone else.  And that has been enough for me, so far, a day 
at a time.
.
However, I've got to warn you, I've found trying to control alcoholism 
by willpower alone a lot like trying to control really severe diarhea 
by willpower alone.  It just doesn't work.  I've found that, as an 
alcoholic, on my own I have no mental defencse against the first drink 
- just as the AA literature warned me about.  I have found it to be 
true that there will come a day when no power on earth would keep me 
away from a drink, even though I know all this great stuff about the 
physical compulsion, etc.  That is why most alcoholics who stay in 
recovery find it helpful to go to AA and be involved in it as a 
priority in their lives.  I've found it to be so, anyway - AA gives me 
the tools to not only stop drinking, but to stay stoped.  Using these 
I've stayed sober a day at a time consecutively, for over ten years - 
in spite of myself.  AA works - when you work it - and it is how I've 
done this.  I have even stayed sober at times when I didn't want to.
Before AA, I stopped drinking on several occasions - but I could NEVER 
stay stopped.
.
I wish you well in your continued sobriety.  Things that have helped me
to stay sober is eating sweets if I wanted to drink - a few of those 
thick shakes the fast food places serve and you wouldn't WANT anything 
else.  I find exercise helpful.  I also find meditation helpful as well
as my own personal spiritual path.  Going to meetings, sharing on here 
and othe fido echoes concerning sobriety helps, getting a sponsor, 
getting a lot of phone numbers, arranging to give a ride to someone at 
the meeting, so you HAVE to go, taking on some kind of service in the 
group such as making coffee or picking up ashtrays or selling the 
raffle tickets, etc.   When you've been sober 3 mos. or so, speaking on
commitments and helping someone else - all of these and ESPECIALLY 
working the steps are things I find helpful in staying sober, 
especially in the early days of sobriety - also reading the literature,
too.
.
Again, good luck.
--- TriToss (tm) Professional 11.0 - #66
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