* Crossposted from: CN.NEWS: News & Announcements - ALL MUST READ
                       You're A Nerd? Hey, Cool!
                   By Stephen Manes, InformationWeek
The few. The proud. The programmers. That military image just might
be the future image of IT. Listen up, IT professionals: You're about
to become sexier. Hipper. More desirable. If a recent government
initiative has its way, the kind of work you do will be getting a
heavy-duty promo buff-and-polish from expensive TV ads.
Who knows? How about "Just Code It" with Bill Gates, body rippling and
breaking a sweat while pounding out an app in Visual Basic? On second
thought, make that Kim Polese and Java. Given the general lack of
attractiveness of computerdom's royalty, I suspect that if this plan
takes off you'll either be seeing a lot of Kim or a lot of celebrities
who don't know shell sorts from Shinola.
According to a study released by the Information Technology Association
of America and Virginia Polytechnic Institute, approximately 10% of all
IT positions-or 346,000 jobs-are going begging. To help close the gap,
the Labor and Commerce departments plan to spend some $28 million to
train and recruit newcomers to IT.
Part of the deal is to rid the industry of what some see as an
unflattering public image -- the nerd with pocket protector -- by
publicizing the glories of IT. "Technology is cool, it's the future,
it's exciting," proclaimed ITAA president Harris Miller in precisely the
words a nerd would use while fumbling with his pocket protector.
Obviously, professional help is needed, so I called in my friend
Schiller, an advertising consultant. Here are a few of his ideas for a
campaign that could revolutionize the way the world sees IT.
The final moments of 1999: High above Times Square, the lighted ball
descends to usher in the new year. As it reaches the bottom and the
crowd below erupts into pandemonium, the lights go out throughout New
York.
Cut to Ginger Spice, one of the Spice Girls, sitting in front of her
monitor, shaking her head. "Oops, look at that: One last year 2000
bug." She types in a couple of lines of code and bangs on the Enter key.
Cut to the neon returning as the crowd roars its approval. Dissolve to
Ginger flashing us the thumbs-up sign with a satisfied smile.
"Programming," she says. "You've Got The Power."
A grizzled old-timer with a pockmarked face is lit only by his monitor.
He turns toward us. "Two weeks ago I was out on the street without a
home, without a job, without a high-school education. Today, I'm
developing operating system software for Microsoft, writing the crucial
code that keeps your computer from crashing. Now I've got a good
salary, stock options, all the Jolt cola I can drink, and the
unmitigated arrogance that comes with 'em. If I can do it, you can,
too." An announcer's voice tells where to E-mail for the free brochure.
Michael Jordan sinks a game-winning 3-pointer at the buzzer, retrieves
the ball, and hands the souvenir to a well-muscled fellow sitting
courtside with a beautiful woman. "Who's that dude?" an opposing player
asks.
"My main man," says Jordan.
"What? He designed your shoes?" the other player sneers.
Jordan shakes his head and grins. "He designed the program that
designed my shoes." The programmer shrugs modestly. His date looks at
him with a mixture of pride and lust. Fade to slogan: "Software: It's
Everywhere You Want To Be."
Since it's crucial to "hook 'em young," expect girls to bond with toys
like Talking Programmer Barbie, complete with phrases like "Isn't this
little distributed object implementation just so cute?"
The secret weapon for luring boys is likely to be a time-tested macho
icon making a triumphant return from retirement with a name change.
Hey, guys, no pushing for the T-shirt featuring that tough- guy keyboard
wizard, Joe Cobol!
Gerry Danen (gdanen@connect.ab.ca) C+Net BBS @ 403-477-9545
            http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Way/9823
      Moderator STN.Y2K: Year 2000 information & discussion
1 year, 336 days, 3 hours, 13 minutes, and 4 seconds until January 1, 2000.
... Happiness: A modem, a rainy day and e-mail friends.
--- Maximus 3.01
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