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The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
New Midwest Wrestling's Rivalry
3/22/2K3, Springfield, IL

This rap sheet is posted in http://www.newmidwest.com/forum,
news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info a newsgroup that many wrestling
organizations could utilize to spread info about their shows but don't, and
the archive of all the ones I've written are stored in
http://abermud.tripod.com/rapsheet.

A few got upset cause I was so heavy-handed against one Marjorie Watson who
decided to lead a coup de tah against President Stan Sallinger for a bunch
of reasons that I felt were very weak and undid a fair and square loser
leaves town match result as a parting slap in the face. The fact is, she was
very heavy-handed to Sallinger, so thus I tagged the person by the name
"Witchy". One man had the gall to claim I was after Witchy cause I'm
"against powerful women". I am against CROOKED powerful
women...like Hillary
Clinton who's a megalomaniac and wants to rule the world. Still another
kookburger wants me to refer to Watson as the "goddess of unmatched beauty"
and "proof that there is a God." That's HIS opinion, being the
worshipper of
heels.

The war in Iraq has begun, and it was WAY overdue. For those peaceniks out
there that say we have no business removing Saddam Hussein in power, I
believe Saddam trained the Al Qaida guys in a camp called Salman Pak 15
miles south of Baghdad using a Boeing 727 parked in an empty field out in
the middle of nowhere. No Iraqi was sent on the mission to blow up the WTC
solely to hide his involvement. And there's the matter of Saddam ignoring 18
UN resolutions following his defeat in the first Gulf War that he had to
obey in order for his to stay in power. But the peaceniks didn't want to do
anything about it, it didn't matter that this guy killed 2 million people
and was actively manufacturing weapons of mass destruction and handing them
off to terrorists groups to smuggle into the places where they want to use
them. The peaceniks believe the only way a country can attack us is to drop
bombs from a jet fighter, and its inconceivable to them that a lone
terrorist can merely stuff a lot of envelopes with anthrax and send them
through the mail just like it happened last year in Washington DC. Frankly,
I don't want to live in a country where the terror alert is always going to
be elevated or high, as soon as Saddam's out, one of the biggest sources of
cash and supplies to terrorism will be cut off and maybe the terror alert
will go down to guarded for once. Bing Westlake incidentally, hates America,
but his country's Prime Minister Tony Blair is firmly on our side, thus Bing
seems to be an outcast in his own country.

Activity going on with the NMW wrestlers in other feds, Tom Arson who has
the worst record in NMW at 1-6, held up six fingers at the end of his match
against Rip Mystic signaling his loss count. However, he got a big win
against "Alpha Male" Guy Smith at an NWA Midwest show in Rolla, MO on
3/5/2K3. But alas, the NMW title wasn't on the line being this wasn't an NMW
show nor does it count in the NMW standings, just the NWA standings. Guy
Smith being the sore loser promptly issued an open challenge for a loser
leaves town match and won it against Tony Luza. Over in MPW on 3/8/2K3, Guy
Smith captured the MPW Tag Team Championship with Damian Blade defeating two
teams in a triple threat tag match, so now he's a double titleholder. Also
on the same show, Eric Logan downed RON's own cult member Steven Bishop in a
match where RON wasn't in attendance and thus couldn't win with that loaded
book.

Shortly after Witchy took power from Sallinger, she started announcing the
lineup just days after the previous show and set up a tournament to crown
tag team champions. Only hitch was that those locked into a match couldn't
be used as partners, and those entering that didn't want to choose a partner
were paired up with someone at random. More on that when I talk about the
match up where this occurred.

Live from the USA Sports Center, your ring announcer is Jimmy "The Bruiser"
Osbourne. Your referee for the evening is Tommy the Ref, a.k.a. PT Starbody.
Occasionally it’s James Welden.

Show starts 15 minutes late, so Ms. Watson rushes out with no entrance and
plays the national anthem. Now she discusses the tag team tournament and how
she gave everyone 30 days to find a partner (we of course don't know when
the time limit started) or be paired up at random. Scotty Cash found a
partner but wanted to keep it secret until the show itself, so Watson asks
Cash to come out and announce his partner. So out come Cash and Guy Smith.
Cash trades insults from the crowd before saying who his tag team champion
partner is, and of course he says it's Guy Smith, which results in an All
Female chant. Smith says he's flattered but says he can't team with Cash
cause he has to defend his heavyweight title (in other words, he don't want
to wrestle two matches!) So he tells Cash he went out and looked for the
third best wrestler in NMW after him and Cash of course and brings out
Danger Doug Fraze. Cash seems to think this is a joke. Smith repeatedly says
this is your partner. Doug Fraze enthusiastically says he's got a name for
the team, "Dangerous Investment!" How embarrassing this is says Cash, but
Smith says his NMW Title is the most important thing to him. Cash throws a
tantrum as the "Final Countdown" music hits for the opposition. Could had
been worse, you could have been teaming with Adam Deacon instead.

Opening round to crown the first NMW Tag Team Champions
Overthrown President Stan Sallinger (0-1) 6'3", ???lbs. Springfield, IL &
Eric Logan (2-4) 5'10" 173lbs. Palm Springs, FL (1-0) vs. Dangerous
Investment (debut) Scotty Cash (5-3) 5'9" 170lbs. 'Yo Mommas House' & Danger
Doug Frazier...err Fraze (1-1) 6'6" 275lbs. Chicago, IL w/ "Alpha
Male" Guy
Smith -- Cash doesn't seem to want to tag with Fraze, whom prior to tonight
was reportedly trying to do a flippy-flippy thing and injured two trainees.
Smith sticks around, not good. Cash and Stan start, Cash won’t lockup with
him so he tags Doug. A fight ensues, Doug suplexes Stan and tags Cash back
in. Stan with a clothesline, tag Logan. Cash & Logan trade hip tosses, Cash
with a bodyslam, Logan with a suplex, Cash with a slam and a kick. A pause
in the action as they squabble over kip-ups, Logan does his, Cash can’t do
one at all so he clotheslines Logan and tags Doug in. Stan is tagged in and
there’s some double-teaming in the corner. Stan with an Irish whip, shoulder
block, side suplex for two. Stan slams Fraze and tags in Logan. Eric dives
off the top rope for a splash that gets two. Logan with a Frankensteiner,
kicks in the corner, Irish whip reversal, Fraze locks in the full nelson
slam. Tag Cash, Irish whip and Eric eats a boot from Fraze. Double-teaming
in the corner with multiple knees. Suplex by Cash gets a two count. Irish
whip and a clothesline only gets one. Cash drapes Logan on the ropes to
choke him out, then comes the double-teaming as the ref dispatches Stan.
Cash lays out Logan lifts the legs to make a wish and kicks him the groin,
not once, not twice, but three times in a row! I had to inquire Tommy the
Ref after the show "Don’t you know a low blow is an automatic DQ? How many
low blows did I see tonight?" "Nine!" said Starbody. His new
excuse for this
oversight, two low blows get warnings and the third gets the DQ. But there
WAS three here. Cash picks him up for an Irish Whip but Logan punches Cash
in the groin himself. Another Irish whip, Cash back body drops him over the
top rope, Logan lands on the apron by Smith who yanks him off and does a
beatdown before throwing him back in for a cover for two. The interference
continues as Cash cheats like crazy, Smith chokes Logan on the middle rope,
and Doug feeds him a boot before tagging in a covering for two. High side
suplex tag Cash a cover for two. Cash chokes Logan out some more and tries
another cover for two. Doug in for more double-teaming, Irish whip Logan
with a double drop kick, Logan with a leg vice, a shot to the head, Stan is
in, big brawl, Stan sets up each member of the opposition, Logan hits a
sloppy 619 on each man, Stan gets speared by Doug, Stan clotheslines Doug
out, chase outside. Now the match has become hard to follow. Doug covers
Logan for two. Apparently Logan didn’t tag Stan in as he’s still the legal
man. Irish Whip into a boot from Fraze gets another two. Tag Cash, Cash
leaps off the top rope with a big stomp gets two. Irish whip to the corner
and a clothesline gets another two count. Irish whip Cash and Logan his
clotheslines on each other and both are down. They each crawl to their
corners and tag in Stan and Doug. Sallinger with a clothesline, bodyslam,
and a forearm shot. Doug with ANOTHER LOW BLOW holds up Stan, ref is busy
with Logan, Cash pulls out some powder and hurls it trying to nail someone
but gets Fraze flush in the face. PT Starbody is confused as heck trying to
get someone out so Cash throws the powder bag at Logan and cries he threw
the powder! The ref as gullible as he is believes him and DQ's Logan and
Stan. What the heck crap is this?

WINNERS: Dangerous Investment DQ -> (1-0) 16:40 mins. ***

What a completely retarded finish in what was a good match before it turned
into an incredibly sloppy mess at the end to ruin it all. Sheesh, I pretty
much thought Cash and his mystery man was gonna win it but the outcome was a
crock. FIVE low blows in this match, looks like I’ll keep a count of them as
we go along. Eric Logan suicide dives onto Dangerous Investment as they try
to leave.

Jimmy Osbourne does his thanking of the sponsors and names them one by one.
He says we're in for a treat cause we have four wrestlers from MISSOURI
(bzzt bzzt, Jimmy that's MIDWEST) Powerhouse Wrestling.

MPW Missouri State Champion Christian Haze (1-0) 6’2" 250lbs. Phoenix, AZ &
Tony Angel (debut) 5’11" 165lbs. North County St. Louis, MO vs. Bigg Boyz
International's The Agency (debut) Agent C 6’0" 232lbs. & Agent U
6’2" 165
lbs. St. Louis, MO -- Witchy ran out of wrestlers to put in the tournament
from the NMW roster due to guys banging themselves up to the point of ending
up on the disabled list and of course, all these guys locked in a match. So
to return the favor of entering two NMW teams in the MPW Tag Title tourney,
we get these two teams. And just to ensure one of the two teams makes it to
round two, they put them in one match. The Agency of course is associated
with a pseudo criminal organization known as Bigg Boyz International run by
some large heavy guy known as Mr. Bigg and a Japanese guy known as Ninja
Pressley. Now where is Agent I to go with C and U, and then Agent G to go
with I, C, U and lastly Agent P? The team of G, I, C, U, P! And these guys
wrestle wearing ties, why oh why does someone wrestle wearing a tie? Agent C
explains that he uses it to choke out an opponent, I would grab it and yank
on it until they pass out. Christian Haze was here last November wrapping up
what was deemed the feud of the year with Chico Es Loco who's now his
regular tag team partner of all things. The Agents shove PT Starbody around
to intimidate him. Angel and U start. Angel armbars U, Irish whip and a
clothesline from U. Angel sent to U’s corner for a beatdown, tag C. C
punches Angel out. Hip toss from C and a slam. Angel tags out to Haze. Haze
with an armbar. Prof. Philip H. Dempsey comes out from the back to scout
their opposition for next month…that’s if his team wins of course.
Hammerlocks are traded off, headlock and a takedown from C. Haze stands up
and shoves C away and they collide with shoulder blocks, no one drops,
another shoulder block, no one drops, so Haze drop kicks C down. C with
ANOTHER LOW BLOW. That’s the sixth low blow tonight that’s slid by. Suplex
from C gets two, C is moving slowly and having trouble getting Haze
airborne. Maybe it’s the tie. Belly to belly suplex from C gets two. C with
a punch to the gut, a slam, and a leg drop. Tag U. Leg drop from U gets 2.
Chop from U just makes Haze mad and shoves U into the corner and chops him
repeatedly. Tag Angel, kick to the arm, chops from Angel. Running hip toss
from Angel gets a two count. Suplex from Angel gets 2. C gets the ref ‘s
attention toward Haze to do an illegal switch and slug Angel in the corner.
Suplex from C, tag U, oops Angel got away and tagged Haze. Haze with
clotheslines for the agents, elbow on C, clothesline U, death valley driver
gets two. Haze punches away on U in the corner, tornado DDT from Haze gets
two. Tag C, double team clothesline and a choke from C on Haze. Irish whip
to the corner, charge from C missed, spear by Haze. Agent U tries to stop
Haze from using the bombshell, Angel in to stop him and lock him into his
own finisher. Christian Haze does the bombshell (pumphandle slam) on C,
Angel hits the Punishment From NoCo (form of a reverse suplex) on U and it's
all over for the Agency.

WINNERS: Christian Haze & Tony Angel pin -> (1-0) 14 mins. **

The Agents were just terrible in this match, had trouble lifting guys just
to execute a move. Haze & Angel did the best they could with them, but they
need considerable work on the ring skills and take the chokers off their
necks to get more air in their lungs as much gasping for air as they were
doing. Drop the bombshell, nah nah nah hey hey hey good-bye.

Central IL Title Match
(c)El Diablo Silverado (5-3) 5'8" 173lbs. Beardstown, IL vs. Bing Francis
Alexia Westlake III (2-3) 5'10" 165lbs. London, England -- Bing of course
lost that loser leaves town match a couple months ago, but Witchy, just to
be a prick and ignore signed contract stipulations just reinstates him to
spite Stan Sallinger. Bing comes out with a small megaphone that puts out
very little sound, that any one person can out shout. My message to Bing,
"US & UK UNITED, WHY NOT U BING?" Bing stops then says
something totally
inaudible on that thing, is that thing even on? I take exception to a couple
of annoyances behind me saying no one should be chanting USA USA cause EDS
isn't American overlooking the obvious fact that it annoys Bing like crazy.
Well that wasn't the only reason but enough about them. Monkey flip from
EDS, fight outside, someone is run into the rail, shoulder block from Bing,
Atomic Drop EDS, Atomic Drop from Bing, Bing rakes the eyes through the
mask. Flatliner from Bing gets two. EDS with a hurraconranna for two.
ANOTHER LOW BLOW from Bing. That’s seven. Bing hooks up Silverado for the
pancake-face first piledriver that only gets a two count. Choke and kicks
from Bing. Irish whip, rollthru, clotheslines EDS. Irish whip to the corner
and a shoulder to the gut. EDS put Bing on top, hurraconranna from the top
gets two. Kick to the gut and a DDT from Bing gets two. Corner kick and
shove, EDS hurls himself forward with a back tackle gets two. Bing tries for
the Unprettier, Silverado blocks it and tries for the fameasser but misses
and lands on his rear, Bing goes for the fameasser but misses as well,
Silverado grabs him and hits the Unprettier for the win.

WINNER and STILL CHAMP: El Diablo Silverado pin -> (6-3) 8:10 mins. ***

Jimmy Osboure tries to introduce the next match but out comes Billy "The
Kid" Grissom with a new guy that I mistake for someone else. Billy wants our
attention cause he's got something to say. He takes exception to people
who've been saying he's a cheater. He calls his cousin Earl a redneck loser
and doesn't like hearing his say do the right things. He says he's got no
title shots except for the one he gave him...uh no, he's had a shot at the
NMW Heavyweight Title in that tournament, besides the #1 Contendership
bouts. He thinks he's a disgrace to the Grissom name so he doesn't want it
anymore and is changing it to Billy Morgan. He then introduces his new
waterboy "Kev G". Lastly he's picking someone out of the crowd for a new
valet. One lady stands up and shows her stuff but he calls her an old fogey.
He does pick a ring attendant out, a fan shouts an insult that gets a laugh
from the crowd, she calls herself "Cherry Malone". An argument ensues with
the crowd but out comes Earl Grissom. He tries to talk but doesn't have his
mike on. Billy says you can't work anything, Earl says I'm gonna work you
and your attitude is pissing him off! Earl in the ring and does a neck
breaker on Kev G while Billy and Terri get out of the ring. He says he's
gonna wrestle him next month and break his neck. Cotton Eye Joe starts
playing. So it's the battle of the cousins next month.

Jimmy The Bruiser introduces the next match again. Bradley Stephens takes
the mike and scolds Osbourne for not properly introducing him. "Rather
Charming" Brad Stephens the "International Playboy" and the
"most dangerous
man in wrestling". Oh really. Tom Arson takes the mike and says that's the
truth! He then rambles about prior history and says we're all very lucky to
be here tonight. We reunited and are going after the tag straps. They're the
former tag champs (hold it, NMW never had tag team champions...he's taking
about when this wrestling school was not yet incorporated and in conflict
with another company with the same name, so anything from the "warehouse"
days doesn't apply here). So he starts going through the dates when they got
this and that, November 4th 2000, they won a tournament to crown the New
Midwest Tag Team Champions (bzzt bzzt, it was not called NMW back then!!!)
One week later they successfully defended their titles, then the next week
defended our titles...finally music interrupts this irrelevant historical
documentary.

Sage Ramsey (5-2) 6'4" 268lbs. Peoria, IL & Jason Wells (2-4)
6'0" 230lbs.
Kansas City, MO (0-0-2) vs. Tom Arson (1-6) 6'5" 260lbs. St. Louis, MO &
"Rather Charming" Bradley Stephens 6'0" 225lbs. Las Vegas,
NV (debut) -
James Welden is your referee for this match. Billy Grissom was supposed to
be the tag partner for Tom Arson originally in a really oddball pairing.
Arson for some reason goes through more tag partners than sliced bread.
Arson didn't want to go out and find a tag partner, neither did Billy so
Witchy put these two together about two weeks before the show. I rightly
called her on it saying Cash has had more than enough time to name his
partner and Arson & Grissom should at least get another week to change their
minds. As luck would have it, Billy Grissom hurt himself training and Arson
had the chance to find another partner. He did find another partner of his
own choosing so here we go. Wells and Brad start. Takedown by Wells,
inverted atomic drop gets a one count. Irish whip, hip toss Wells, tag Sage.
Sage with a side slam, and a cradle suplex into a slam gets two. Irish whip
and a splash in the corner, bodyslam and Brad rolls outside. Tag to Arson.
Tag to Wells. Arson with a takedown go behind, headlock. Arson gets Wells in
the corner and gives him a chop. Wells forces Arson in the corner and gives
him seven hard chops. Irish whip and an armdrag by Wells. Tag Stephens, and
a little double-teaming in the corner. Elbows to the head, Irish whip and
the ref gets bumped against the ropes. Whalen takes five steps before
deciding to sell it by flopping to the canvas, but no one buys it so he gets
up. Tag Sage who punches away at Brad but gets raked in the eyes and choked.
Tag Arson. Double-team suplex and a legdrop gets two. Tag Brad, punch and
suplex from Brad gets two. Leg drop from Brad gets two. Tag Arson, Irish
whip to the corner and a big splash from Stephens followed by a big boot
from Arson. Tag Brad, slam gets two. Tag Tom, double clothesline but an
elbow missed, Sage tries to tag but Arson knocks Wells off the apron. Tom
gives Sage a couple punches to the jaw and takes Brad back in. A double team
move where Arson suplexes Brad onto Sage for two. Stephens applies a neck
vice. Sage gets up, clothesline on Brad. Stephens prevents any tag by
knocking Wells off again. Tag Tom. Arson flips Sage by the neck and applies
a knee to the back. Irish whip, reversal, back body drop from Sage. Tom with
an elbow drop. Arson puts Sage in this corner for some double-teaming. Tag
Brad, elbows to the head. Powerslam from Brad gets two. Tag Tom, neck
breaker on Sage. Brad is on the apron in a neutral corner gloating at the
crowd when Wells runs over from his corner to knock him off! Tom is on the
top rope and does the moonsault but Sage rolls out of the way. Tag Wells.
Clotheslines, atomic drops, and spinebusters for everybody. Wells slugs Tom
down for a two count. Irish whip and a powerslam gets two for Wells. Tom
tries a rollup but gets two. Wells has Tom up with the fireman’s carry into
a slam and gets three. Sage gives Brad the "Final Fall" back-to-belly slam.

WINNERS: Sage Ramsey & Jason Wells pin -> (1-0-2) 17:30 mins. ****

Dang, a lot of long matches tonight. Tom Arson throws a fit over losing
another match in NMW, Rip Mystic comes out and offers a truce despite his
unfinished business with him. He's going after RWJ and a title shot for
April against Guy Smith and if he's champ and Arson agrees not to interfere
in the match later he'll give him the very first title shot. I shout "take
it!" Arson just yells "I hate you" repeatedly and refuses
the offer. Stupid
move. Arson's lifetime goal is to prevent Mystic from ever holding gold here
again. Uh Tom, how many more matches are you willing to drop to achieve
this? You're rock bottom now, how much further are you gonna go? No truce,
and he promises that he'll lose tonight. So Mystic warns Arson that RWJ and
Rip will both tear his head off if he tries to interfere later on. Well
Arson just passed up a good deal being that he’s at the bottom of the
contenders list…#21 or so out of 24 on the whole roster.

The next match is introduced and PHD says he went to Mardi Gras and got some
beads and starts throwing them out to members of the audience. He was out
here earlier scouting the talent, errr..there was no talent. He gets to the
Church of RON and says he's never done this before. PHD has a pep talk for
the frat boys, and if they destroy the cult they get the celebration beer, a
victory beer, the champagne of beers, a six-pack of Miller High Life.
Throughout the match, think of one thing to motivate you to win, BEER BEER
BEER!

Sigma Omega Beta (1-0-2) Carbondale, IL - "Big Man on Campus" Garret Ryan
(1-0) 6'2" 232lbs. & "Toga" Steve Fisher (1-2)
5'10" 240lbs. w/ Prof. Philip
H. Dempsey vs. The CULT of RON (debut) Kincaid, IL - Lobotomized P. Cotrane
(1-1) 5'10" 230lbs. & Don't call me "The Khaos Kidd" no
more Steven Bishop
(2-4) 5'7" 200lbs. w/ moRON & "The Iron Chef"
Leo…err…Adam Deacon -- Seems
"The Chef" Adam Deacon has been kicked to the curb in favor of
the kidnapped
and brainwashed LPC despite the (2-0) record with the Kidd. I had tagged the
frat boys and the cult as the #1 & #2 seeds in my own bracketing of the
tournament but Witchy decided to pair these two off. I wear an SIU
sweatshirt in support of the Saluki team to cheese off the cult. The Kidd
has been bugging me repeatedly about what I wear, like it was an obsession,
and he avoids me like the plague when I try asking why he’s so obsessed with
it. Toga and Bishop start. "BEER" chants run through most of the match as
PHD and his team are given the most face pops they’ve ever had. Toga with a
lockup and arm wringer. Irish whip clothesline from Toga. Another arm bar
into a hammerlock, another clothesline. Toga spreads the arms and grinds a
knee in the back. Bishop with ANOTHER LOW BLOW and a slam. That’s number
eight! Toga stops any attempt to tag out and suplexes Kidd. Toga has him in
a corner and slugs away. LPC is standing there looking depressed. Irish whip
reversal clothesline in the corner, shoulder shots to the gut, Irish whip to
the other corner, Toga with a back splash followed by a massive wedgie! Tag
Ryan, who slugs away at Kidd in the corner, Irish whip, powerslam. Ryan with
a back body drop, stands on Bishop’s back, then spinebusters him down. Shove
to the corner and a tag to Toga, punchout, Irish whip, double-team
clothesline from the Salukis. Toga with another Irish whip axe waiting for
Kidd who hooks the ropes and finally tags out to LPC. LPC slowly gets in
then just flops down on the canvas and tells Toga to pin him. Kidd tries to
stop it but Ryan knocks him out. Toga with the one foot cover and three.
Match was an extended total squash. RON should’ve entered the team with a
2-0 record.

WINNERS: Sigma Omega Beta pin -> (2-0-2) 7:45 mins. **

RON screams at LPC for throwing the match. LPC removes his shirt as the cult
members enter the ring one by one, LPC beats the crap out of RON. KICK WHAM
STUNNER for Bishop, KICK WHAM STUNNER for Deacon, KICK WHAM STUNNER for RON.
LPC wasn’t lobotomized at all! These guys slowly leave the ring as the crowd
gloats over their loss. RON is running around claiming he didn't "loose".

Jimmy thanks the sponsors again, and wishes someone a happy birthday. Goes
to introduce the #1 Contenders match but Michael Shard comes out to complain
about how he's been treated by Linda McMahon...I mean Ms. Watson not wanting
to book him for a match cause he's a liability and "injury
prone". He issues
an open challenge to anyone out there in the back to wrestle him right now
to prove once again that he's unbeatable. Someone does answer, and of all
people it's MPW's Chico Es Loco! Shard considers this guy to be lame. Loco
says nuh-uh! He says people in black tights are stupid. Shard attacks.

Michael Shard (3-6) 5'8" 160 lbs. Santa Monica, CA vs. Chico Es Loco (0-1)
5'10" 150lbs., Mexico, MO - Irish whip clothesline by Chico gets two.
Clothesline, arm drag and slam from Shard gets two. Punch and bail from
Loco. Loco hangs Shard from the ropes, suplex gets two. Punch to the gut
from Shard and a knockdown. Irish whip clothesline from Loco. A pair of
legdrops from Loco but misses the third. Shard punches Loco and rolls him up
for two. Irish whip reversal into a sleeper hold, Shard is down but gets
back up before his arm drops three times. Front toss neckbreaker from Shard.
Shard shoots him to the ropes and back body drops him to the ring apron,
superkicks Loco who hits the rail. Sunset flip in the ring from Shard gets
two. Slugs to the head from Loco, whip to the corner reversed into Shard for
the Flatliner and the pin.

WINNER: Michael Shard pin -> (4-6) 5:45 mins. **½

Jimmy tries to talk about the sponsors one more time to the dismay of the
crowd. He announces the date of First Blood...on NOVEMBER 22ND! Bzzt bzzt,
sheesh Jimmy is making a lot of errors here, it's APRIL!

Real World Jeremy (4-2-1) 6'2" 240lbs. Denver, CO vs. Rip Mystic (8-3) 5'8"
180lbs. Hannibal, MO -- Been waiting a LONG time for this match, ever since
last August when Michael Shard stole RWJ's title shot and won the title
himself. They shake hands to start. Lockup and a shove by RWJ. Lockup,
flying head scissors takedown, head lock by Rip, reversed shoulder block
RJW. Inverted Atomic Drop and a regular Atomic Drop from RWJ, side suplex,
Rip takes a break. They circle each other before locking up, headlock by
Rip, shove, flying clothesline from Rip. Atomic drop, drop kick, Irish whip
to the corner splash from Rip misses. Irish whip RWJ, tosses Rip to the mat
for a measly one count. Irish whip RWJ, suplex blocked, head scissors
takedown, splash misses, Rip trips up RWJ. RWJ grabs his leg in agony. Rip
puts it on the bottom rope and stomps it. Rip yanks the leg and puts in a
vice. RWJ gets up, Irish whip into an abdominal stretch, RWJ reverses out of
it and hip tosses him away. RWJ on the second rope jumps off but gets a knee
in the crotch, and a superkick to the face. Rip to the top rope and a frog
splash, but takes a long time crawling over to cover for a two count. Rip
with an Irish whip to the corner, Rip goes for the cartwheel handspring
elbow but gets speared. RWJ with a face slam gets two. Irish whip and a big
spinebuster gets a two count. Pedigree attempted but is blocked, Irish whip
to the corner but they clothesline each other. Tom Arson runs in the ring to
ruin the match, but Rip and RWJ take him out and the match continues. RWJ
was looking toward the fallen Arson and walks right into a DDT but that only
gets two. Slam from Rip, he goes to the top rope for the 450 splash but
misses! RWJ up and pedigrees Rip for three!

WINNER: Real World Jeremy pin -> (5-2-1) 12:20 mins. ****½

Tom Arson is back in the ring, still wanting to fight with Mystic but gets a
DDT for his troubles then RWJ gives Arson a pedigree. The same annoyances
behind me say RWJ's music sucks. Arson slowly gets up and demands Mystic to
come back out here, he's not done with him. Mystic does come out to listen.
He says this is the last straw and no one double-teams him, ever. He's got
something for him, I HATE YOU. He says the next show it's called First
Blood, lets have a first blood match. Uh not a good idea, Tom Arson bleeds
more than anyone. Mystic thinks Arson's been eating cereal. (Okay that must
be an inside joke or something. Don't ask.) Me, Rip, I'm the good guy, who
overcomes all the odds, not Arson. He says it's on, but about his midget
comment he points to a couple of people and says look between their legs and
then he'll see a midget. Jimmy does the sponsor crap one more time like we
haven't heard it several dozen times already.

NMW Heavyweight Title

(c)"The Barry Bonds of Wrestling, MPW Heavy Hitter, NMW Alpha Male, Fans All
Female" Guy Smith (7-3) w/ Dangerous Investment vs. Dredd Walker (4-3-1)
5'11" 210lbs. "Purgatory" -- Guy Smith is also the co-holder
of the Midwest
Powerhouse Wrestling Tag Team Championship. Dredd Walker was supposed to

--- Internet Rex 2.29