I just thought I would respond to that. I would agree in principle that that 
is a good way to judge Gods will. It is true Tha God wants nothing but good 
for us and his infinite love is all we need to be totally satisfied....
However....
I am an alcoholic. Most humans, and especially alcoholics, have an amazing 
ability to not only justify any action that they feel they want, but are 
prone to be dishonest with themselves over what makes them happy. A perfect 
illustration of this is how I can sit in a room of people who are complaining 
about what a drag marrige is and when I say I am thinking about being a 
celibate priest they say there is no way I will be satisfied or happy  with 
out a partener. Well to me I see a large proportion of married people who are 
dissatisfied. I don't claim all are dissatisfied or that all are as 
dissatisfied as they claim. What I am trying to say is that it seems to my 
people shop in the wrong places for there happiness, myself included. Why 
should I expect a marrige to make my happy, or a celebit life, or drugs, or 
booze, or sex, or money, or priesthood, or anythingbesides what is the will 
of God for me. My music is another prime example. Sure it is a beautifull 
gift.
From being a small child it was all I wanted, more than anything else. I have 
pursued it as far a s I could have up till this point. I love it, I cherish 
it, I never want to be with out music. I simply thing it is the greatest form 
of expresion man has ever created. That is bias but it is my feelings.
It is a integral part of who I feel am, yet it is only a tool with which to 
express myself and give myself as much joy is appropriate from it. Right now 
I am trying to decide if God is asking me to be a Priest. THis is a question 
that has tortured my being for many years, I have fought it with everything I 
had and I couldn't stop the nagging in my soul and mind. I finally gave up 
and decided to check it out and I have decided to pursue the questioning 
further because I have not felt a definate yes or no. For me now to become 
serious about music would mean running away from the questioning again which 
would cause me to be opposed to God once again. Yet I still play enough to 
keep myself satisfied. 
        Any way to get bace to my response to wether what makes me feel goodf 
is Gods will, the truth is sometimes I don't know truely what makes me feel 
good, and sometimes I want to feel more than good. Also sometimes I have to 
go through what seems like darkness and pain to get to what is good. So I 
don't find it that simple to decide what Gods wil is. I hope and pray that as 
I get heathier and closer to Gods picture for me on this earth what God 
desires so will I, but untill that time I think it will be a struggle. Boy 
have I blabbed on and on again. Bye!
--- Maximus 2.01wb
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