For those of you that have been monitoring our situation with Daryl, this
is the latest update, as of July 27, 1995.
Today Daryl was detained by the Probation Department and taken to Juvenile 
Hall.  I don't know exactly what will happen next, other than he will have 
to go before a Judge within 48 hours and the Judge will determine what 
happens to him.  It is completely out of our hands now.
As our court date for Michelle's return home gets closer, Daryl has become 
more beligerant, more explosive, more violent and more angry at us for what 
he perceives to be our needless involvement in his life.  After all, he is 
16 and knows what is best is for him and being an inch taller than his dad 
means he doesn't have to answer to us anymore.  Or so Daryl thinks any way.  
We repeatedly warned him that if he refused to abide by our rules, we would 
have no choice but to report him to his Probation Officer, in fact, we have 
reported his behavior on three different occasions; the first two times to
no avail.  This time however, they had to take it a lot more seriously.  
On Tuesday, July 25, Daryl got me so angry that I threw my glass of tea 
across the kitchen.  (This is NOT a common occurence, it happens generally 
less than once a year and whatever I'm drinking is what I throw, nothing 
else.)  After I threw my tea, Daryl threw his dinner at me, it's a good 
thing it was hot dogs because if he had a knife handy he may have thrown 
that instead.  He ran out of the house, grabbed the screen door and started 
bashing it into the garbage can that was behind it on the porch, destroying 
a perfectly good door.  Then he ran to his bike to leave and I told him I 
would call the police if he left, so he raised his bike over his head and 
threw it as hard as he could (or so it appeared) at the neighbor's fence.  
Then he grabbed his bike helmet and threw it on the patio so hard I thought 
he would crack it.  Travis and Steven heard the noise and came outside.  
One of them said "Daryl, calm down." and Daryl threatened to kill him and 
then pointed at me and said, "I'm sick of your sh*t and I could kill you 
too.  Better yet, I'm tired of living here, in fact, I'm tired of living 
and I think I'll just go and kill myself instead, since that's the only 
f*cking way I'm going to get out of here."  I ran for the phone and called 
his father (Don) at work.  At Don's request I finally got Daryl to the 
phone.  Don told him to sit on the front porch until he came home from work.  
Daryl calmed down and did what he was told.
Later that night Daryl started the same old routine when Don was trying to
talk to him about the situation.  First it was "I'm confused", then it was 
"I'm scared", then it was "Nobody wants me here and I don't fit in", then 
it was "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean it.  It'll never happen again." along with
the crocodile tears and promises to change.  The same stuff we've heard a
hundred times before.  We know the routine so well we can usually predict 
what he's going to say next.  This time Daryl decided to add a new twist and 
told his father that I had beat Michelle black and blue last year.  He even 
accused me of keeping Michelle out of school to hide it.  I don't know how 
Don managed to keep his cool, but he was able to keep himself from beating 
the daylights out of Daryl for that accusation.  Daryl has made several 
false reports to CPS and this did not sit well, especially since Michelle 
is in a foster home based on a false report that Daryl made last year.
Yes, I did keep Michelle out of school for a couple of days: once due to a 
black eye she got when her best friend accidently hit her with a broom.  I 
know how quick the schools are to turn in suspected cases of child abuse 
and Don and I weren't going to risk it.  The other time I kept Michelle out 
of school was because Michelle was being mean to a small child and I warned 
her that she would get a spanking if she didn't stop hurting the child.  
Michelle didn't stop so when I went to spank her, she tried to bite me, and 
on reflex I slapped her - NOT something I'm proud of but it was a reflex 
reaction regrettably.  Michelle threatened to call CPS and tell them I was 
trying to kill her.  Don and I were afraid she would really do it, so I sent 
her to her room and we did not let her attend the last day of summer school.
Job Corps is no longer an option for him now and the misdemeaner charges 
against him won't be dismissed in September, they'll remain on his juvenile 
record.  The court could give Daryl the sentence for the misdemeanor 
charges, which would be 18 months in the California Youth Authority, or 
they could place him in a group home or some treatment center where he 
would get the in-depth counseling he needs.  Then again, they could just 
keep him in Juvenile Hall indefinately.  
Seeing my son in hand cuffs was not easy. I'm still an emotional wreck over 
this and am crying as I type, several hours later.  I know in my heart that 
we took the right steps and that Daryl was the one that ultimately made the 
choice to be where he is.  He knew what the consequences for his misbehavior 
could be and he chose to not follow the rules and to threaten us.  My last 
words to him today, as I hugged him (while his hands were handcuffed behind 
him) and we both cried on each others shoulders were "I love you son.  No 
matter what happens, please remember that your father and I love you very 
much.  I am so sorry things turned out this way.  It wasn't my choice, and 
even though you may hate your father and I for it right now, this is the 
best thing we can do for you now.  I love you."
I don't know what this will do to our case with Michelle. It can either make 
it or break it.  CPS could use it against us and say "See, they can't even 
control their 16 year old and throw him out when things get rough. What will 
they do if things get tough with Michelle?" Or it could go the other way and 
the Judge could realize that we do have the wisdom and courage to make 
difficult choices like this even when we don't want to.  Only time will tell.
Please keep Daryl and Michelle in your thoughts and prayers.  Daryl needs
a lot of help and Michelle needs to come home.  Please pray that they both
get what they need.  Thank You.  As for me - I'll be okay, so don't worry.  
By tomorrow I will be pretty well recovered from this ordeal.  I promise!
Valery
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