Barbara McNay wrote to James Bradley, "When George is a disorde"
on 11-16-05
19:52

 > Barbara McNay wrote to George Pope, "When is it a
 > disorder whe" on 10-23-05
 > 20:13

 >> On (22 Oct 05) Cindy Haglund wrote to WAYNE CHIRNSIDE...


 >  BM> All of the above, then, are things that many people with
 >  BM> defective hearing can't do, sometimes even with
 >  BM> amplification.


 >> Well, it must have showed somehow, because this girl
 >> wheels herself over
 >> right in front of Heather and says, "Don't you DARE
 >> feel sorry for me! I
 >> *KNOW* what MY disability is -- what's YOURS?"


 >> I think there's a dual responsibility:

 >> 1) on the part of the caring hearing person making
 >> sure the born-deaf
 >> knows about all options available, to STFU quickly if
 >> the other's
 >> response is anything but open!

 >  BM> George, it's reasonable to assume that children are
 >  BM> taken to doctors by
 >  BM> their parents, and it's reasonable to assume that adults
 >  BM> (especially if they tell you they hear poorly or were born
 >  BM> with poor hearing) know what, if any, options are
 >  BM> available. It's offensive and presumptious for anybody to
 >  BM> walk up to a person with hearing problems and start
 >  BM> "informing" them of options available.  Most adults consult
 >  BM> doctors occasionally, and these doctors would be able to
 >  BM> make an intelligent assesment of the nature of their
 >  BM> patient's hearing.  If something new came up on the
 >  BM> horizon, *the patient's own physician(s)*, regardless of
 >  BM> his specialty, would know whether it might be applicable to
 >  BM> that patient, and tell him so.  Everybody else, the man on
 >  BM> the street, the coworker, etc., is just a sidewalk
 >  BM> superintendent.

 > How many people had laser surgery under the advice of
 > a physician, and
 > are now hitting the mid-life stretch? I've heard even
 > tri-focal lenses
 > can't restore their vision, and as near-sighted as
 > they used to be,
 > they are twice the amount far-sighted now.

 BM> Oops.  I haven't heard about that.  And I suppose that
 BM> laser surgery to treat the far-sightedness isn't an option.

Nope.


 >> 2) on the part of the born-deaf confronted by a well-
 >> meaning person, to
 >> politely/civilly acknowledge their intent to be
 >> helpful. . .

 >  BM> It gets old really fast, especially if they keep
 >  BM> making an issue of it.

 > Like that person that attempts to wrestle the door
 > from you to 'help',
 > how many times have I been viewed with scorn because I
 > will not
 > consider, or press for a hip replacement?

 > The hip *joint* is not my problem, but a recipient of
 > abuse. Maybe,
 > when my hip joint has taken as much abuse as it can,
 > THEN a titanium
 > replacement might do me some good. Until then, it
 > would be just
 > another useless procedure. Well, useless to me anyway.

 BM> That's a last-resort procedure, as far as I'm concerned.

 >> I know people in wheelchairs who DEMAND to be allowed
 >> to go first
 >> (elevators, lineups, bus lineups, etc.) but I don't --
 >> I know that it's
 >> the social convention that I be allowed priority use
 >> of elevators, but I
 >> recognize that they're public facilities, and if I'm
 >> not first in line,
 >> then I may well have to wait my turn!

 >> In lineups at the grocery store/etc. I tend to
 >> offer(insist sometimes)
 >> for standing seniors to go ahead of me (I remember how
 >> difficult/tiring/painful it was for me, when walking
 >> with a cane to wait
 >> too long in lineups!)

 >> I will also usually offer/insist that ladies go ahead
 >> of me (just
 >> because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I can't/
 >> shouldn't be a
 >> gentleman!)


 >>  CH> I'm working on a witty comeback for next time. Any suggestions?
 >>  CH> George?
 >>  CH> you're my best bet with witty comebacks! :)
 >>  CH>
 >>  CH> How about...(someone Innocently asks : "have you
heard of Cochlear
 >>  CH> implants.....  "Why yes and  have you heard of
 >>  CH> frontal lobe implants?"
 >>  CH> 7Oh something like that...

 > Maybe Cindy needs to retort, "No, I can't hear a
 > thing!"

 BM> Heh.

I think American sign for "Ferme la bouch!" is pretty universally
understood too. 

 >> Years ago, I was visiting one of those little store-
 >> front type community
 >> churches (happened to be of the "Charismaniac"
 >> variety) and I was
 >> walking with my cane.  A sweet lady asked me if she
 >> could pray for me, I
 >> thanked her and acceded -- I'm sure her doing so made
 >> her feel good for
 >> the day, and what the hell, it didn't do squat to
 >> me(or FOR me, but
 >> whatever.. *G*)

 >> Well, a week or two later I was back again visiting,
 >> and this same lady
 >> comes up to me, rather upset with me, because I wasn't
 >> healed
 >> (apparently my limping called into question her faith/
 >> etc.) so she
 >> starts lighting into me about how my weak faith has
 >> left me crippled,
 >> and unless I believed properly, I was going to STAY
 >> crippled.

 >> Well, I know this type -- and I knew I was only the
 >> current victim of
 >> her ignorance/insecurity, and that many others
 >> wouldn't be as able as I
 >> to withstand it without psychological/emotional
 >> damage, so I turned on
 >> the anger(just a WEE!) and turned on HER:

 >> "Listen, lady, maybe you better take some classes &
 >> READ your Bible
 >> instead of allowing it to collect dust so it can be
 >> showed off to your
 >> guests how GOOD you are in having it out in the open!
 >> Maybe you recall
 >> a sermon where it was read/taught that Jesus said when
 >> you pray, pray
 >> BELIEVING, and it WILL BE DONE according to how you
 >> ask! Do NOT attempt
 >> to condemn ME because YOUR faith was too weak to heal
 >> me -- what are you
 >> trying to do?  Jerk me around, lift up my hopes for
 >> nothing?  You are
 >> blaspheming the Lord when you do that!"

 >  BM> Do you realize that this is analagous to the behavior of
 >  BM> people who want to bring you up to date on all the latest
 >  BM> treatments?  Your lack of faith, your unwillingness to have
 >  BM> surgery, etc.

 > Some of us have been bitten once, and are now twice
 > shy.

 BM> Isn't that the truth!



... "`Are we not creatures of habit.' said the monk." -Parrot, Jean
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