> Barbara McNay wrote to George Pope, "When is it a
 > disorder whe" on 10-23-05
 > 20:13

 >> On (22 Oct 05) Cindy Haglund wrote to WAYNE
 >> CHIRNSIDE...
 >>  CH>
 >>  CH> I learned two things from this article.
 >>  CH>
 >>  CH> 1. The Deaf (born deaf) community do not regard themselves ad
 >>  CH> 'disabled'...

 >> I had a senior neighbour who watched a news program on
 >> the C.I. and
 >> interviewed some mothers who said they would not get
 >> it for their deaf
 >> child, because they didn't want to deny their child
 >> "their deaf
 >> community" -- my friend's view was that the parents
 >> were making an evil
 >> crime of denying their children the gifts, for
 >> example, of
 >> knowing/appreciating music.

 >> Certainly being deaf, if the world is willing/able to
 >> care enough about
 >> them as being fellow citizens in human society to
 >> communicate with them!
 >> ("all you-all")

 >>  CH> 2. Besides the FACT CI's do not restore full hearing (tone wise
 >>  CH> required for speech indentation for example)- in all
individuals and
 >>  CH> I will tell you another fact: silence is preferable to noise...
 >>  CH> besides these two 'shuts them up every time" facts
CI's can pose a
 >>  CH> danger (read: serious injury) to the wearer should they
receive a blow
 >>  CH> to
 >>  CH> the head.

 >> But isn't it worth it, if it helps SOME get normal
 >> hearing, so they can:

 >  BM> But this is the point you've missed, George.  The hearing afforded by
 >  BM> CI's is not at all normal; it's a last resort and a poor substitute
 >  BM> for the real thing.  Cindy says "tone," where the
 >  BM> terminology I would use is "frequency." There are times
 >  BM> when I hear people speak, but it sounds nothing to me like
 >  BM> a voice, not to mention that it's unintelligible.  Above a
 >  BM> certain frequency, music is just noise to me, because at
 >  BM> that point, I can't distinguish among frequencies. This
 >  BM> relates to Cindy's statement that "silence is preferable to
 >  BM> noise."


 >> -know & appreciate "music"?
 >> -have the ability to hear warnings of danger (eg.
 >> accellerating car
 >>  around the corner, barking dog on the move,
 >> rattlesnake rattle, etc.)
 >> -be able to more easily communicate with more people
 >> using all the
 >>  abilities that God/Nature/Evolution has bestowed on
 >> the human creature

 >  BM> All of the above, then, are things that many people with
 >  BM> defective hearing can't do, sometimes even with
 >  BM> amplification.

 >> It's like trying to communicate with dolphins, in
 >> their environment --
 >> we're crippled -- if it was important to communicate
 >> with them we'd have
 >> to overcome our disabilities of being land-bound, and
 >> mute/deaf, as far
 >> as dolpin-style communication goes!)

 >> Okay, I know what you're thinking(I think): f***
 >> communicating with the
 >> dolphins; I'll live my life without it and be
 >> perfectly happy!"

 >> But born-deaf children aren't as separated from
 >> hearing society as
 >> we-all are from dolphins

 >  BM> I disagree, here.  I think they probably are, unless
 >  BM> society makes diligent and persistent efforts to
 >  BM> communicate "tries to communicate with the dolphins"--which
 >  BM> it too often does not.

 >> Society is stronger (collectively & individually) with
 >> greater
 >> unity(through communication), so we each have a
 >> greater opportunity to
 >> achieve our highest potential(cf. Maslow's Hierarchy
 >> of Needs)!

 >> Let's say you get injured somehow(bit by a
 >> rattlesnake, e.g.)

 >> We NEED the industrialization we have to have a means
 >> to contribute so
 >> as to earn some sort of recompense to provide for
 >> necessities (food,
 >> shelter, medical, etc.)

 >> Doesn't it stand to reason that the easier it is, the
 >> higher we can go
 >> in our paths?

 >> Who can achieve greater success climbing a mountain?
 >> a) s/he who climbs the cliffs straight up (without
 >> equipmint/training)
 >> b) s/he who does the same, but with proper equipment/
 >> training
 >> c) s/he who follows the nicely marked hiking trail
 >> that meanders around
 >>    the worst obstacles
 >> d) s/he who is dropped off at the top by helicopter.

 >> If the goal is to reach the top, "d" clearly wins,
 >> because "D" ably
 >> overcame all disabilities.

 >> EVERYBODY has disabilities; but society defines some
 >> as more
 >> overt/problematic than others, but the fact remains
 >> that ALL have them!

 >> A friend of mine was in a local mall having a
 >> smoke(back in the day!)
 >> and saw a young girl in a wheelchair who was a
 >> quadruple amputee;
 >> Heather, naturally, had a first reaction, internally,
 >> of "awwww, what a
 >> darn shame for someone so young & pretty!"

 >> Well, it must have showed somehow, because this girl
 >> wheels herself over
 >> right in front of Heather and says, "Don't you DARE
 >> feel sorry for me! I
 >> *KNOW* what MY disability is -- what's YOURS?"

 >> Heather, instead of getting offended, allowed that to
 >> sink in and
 >> thought about it all that day, and became a
 >> better(more enlightened)
 >> person because of it -- she shared it with us later
 >> that night, and I,
 >> too, have become more enlightened because of it (I
 >> didn't experience
 >> what Heather did, but through the miracle of equitable
 >> clear
 >> communication I could learn the same lessons/values as
 >> she did!)

 >>  CH> This info needs to be known by the general public. So
when they meet a
 >>  CH> latent deaf/deaf or HOH (hard of hearing) person they might THINK
 >>  CH> before
 >>  CH> brightly well intentionally bringing the subject up.
((Especially to a
 >>  CH> born deaf ("DEAF" ) person. You may as well
stick your hand into hot
 >>  CH> fire...
 >>  CH> Do us all us hearing impaired persons a favor. Don't. We
already KNOW.

 >> Not all do -- there are mobility-challenged people in
 >> our society who
 >> are unaware that there are wheelchairs/scooters, and
 >> these are FAR more
 >> well-known than C.I.s!

 >> I think there's a dual responsibility:

 >> 1) on the part of the caring hearing person making
 >> sure the born-deaf
 >> knows about all options available, to STFU quickly if
 >> the other's
 >> response is anything but open!

 >  BM> George, it's reasonable to assume that children are taken to doctors by
 >  BM> their parents, and it's reasonable to assume that adults
 >  BM> (especially if they tell you they hear poorly or were born
 >  BM> with poor hearing) know what, if any, options are
 >  BM> available. It's offensive and presumptious for anybody to
 >  BM> walk up to a person with hearing problems and start
 >  BM> "informing" them of options available.  Most adults consult
 >  BM> doctors occasionally, and these doctors would be able to
 >  BM> make an intelligent assesment of the nature of their
 >  BM> patient's hearing.  If something new came up on the
 >  BM> horizon, *the patient's own physician(s)*, regardless of
 >  BM> his specialty, would know whether it might be applicable to
 >  BM> that patient, and tell him so.  Everybody else, the man on
 >  BM> the street, the coworker, etc., is just a sidewalk
 >  BM> superintendent.

 > How many people had laser surgery under the advice of
 > a physician, and
 > are now hitting the mid-life stretch? I've heard even
 > tri-focal lenses
 > can't restore their vision, and as near-sighted as
 > they used to be,
 > they are twice the amount far-sighted now.

Oops.  I haven't heard about that.  And I suppose that laser surgery to
treat the far-sightedness isn't an option.

 >> 2) on the part of the born-deaf confronted by a well-
 >> meaning person, to
 >> politely/civilly acknowledge their intent to be
 >> helpful. . .

 >  BM> It gets old really fast, especially if they keep making an issue of it.

 > Like that person that attempts to wrestle the door
 > from you to 'help',
 > how many times have I been viewed with scorn because I
 > will not
 > consider, or press for a hip replacement?

 > The hip *joint* is not my problem, but a recipient of
 > abuse. Maybe,
 > when my hip joint has taken as much abuse as it can,
 > THEN a titanium
 > replacement might do me some good. Until then, it
 > would be just
 > another useless procedure. Well, useless to me anyway.

That's a last-resort procedure, as far as I'm concerned.

 >> I know people in wheelchairs who DEMAND to be allowed
 >> to go first
 >> (elevators, lineups, bus lineups, etc.) but I don't --
 >> I know that it's
 >> the social convention that I be allowed priority use
 >> of elevators, but I
 >> recognize that they're public facilities, and if I'm
 >> not first in line,
 >> then I may well have to wait my turn!

 >> In lineups at the grocery store/etc. I tend to
 >> offer(insist sometimes)
 >> for standing seniors to go ahead of me (I remember how
 >> difficult/tiring/painful it was for me, when walking
 >> with a cane to wait
 >> too long in lineups!)

 >> I will also usually offer/insist that ladies go ahead
 >> of me (just
 >> because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I can't/
 >> shouldn't be a
 >> gentleman!)


 >>  CH> I'm working on a witty comeback for next time. Any suggestions?
 >>  CH> George?
 >>  CH> you're my best bet with witty comebacks! :)
 >>  CH>
 >>  CH> How about...(someone Innocently asks : "have you
heard of Cochlear
 >>  CH> implants.....  "Why yes and  have you heard of
frontal lobe implants?"
 >>  CH> 7Oh something like that...

 > Maybe Cindy needs to retort, "No, I can't hear a
 > thing!"

Heh.


 >> Years ago, I was visiting one of those little store-
 >> front type community
 >> churches (happened to be of the "Charismaniac"
 >> variety) and I was
 >> walking with my cane.  A sweet lady asked me if she
 >> could pray for me, I
 >> thanked her and acceded -- I'm sure her doing so made
 >> her feel good for
 >> the day, and what the hell, it didn't do squat to
 >> me(or FOR me, but
 >> whatever.. *G*)

 >> Well, a week or two later I was back again visiting,
 >> and this same lady
 >> comes up to me, rather upset with me, because I wasn't
 >> healed
 >> (apparently my limping called into question her faith/
 >> etc.) so she
 >> starts lighting into me about how my weak faith has
 >> left me crippled,
 >> and unless I believed properly, I was going to STAY
 >> crippled.

 >> Well, I know this type -- and I knew I was only the
 >> current victim of
 >> her ignorance/insecurity, and that many others
 >> wouldn't be as able as I
 >> to withstand it without psychological/emotional
 >> damage, so I turned on
 >> the anger(just a WEE!) and turned on HER:

 >> "Listen, lady, maybe you better take some classes &
 >> READ your Bible
 >> instead of allowing it to collect dust so it can be
 >> showed off to your
 >> guests how GOOD you are in having it out in the open!
 >> Maybe you recall
 >> a sermon where it was read/taught that Jesus said when
 >> you pray, pray
 >> BELIEVING, and it WILL BE DONE according to how you
 >> ask! Do NOT attempt
 >> to condemn ME because YOUR faith was too weak to heal
 >> me -- what are you
 >> trying to do?  Jerk me around, lift up my hopes for
 >> nothing?  You are
 >> blaspheming the Lord when you do that!"

 >  BM> Do you realize that this is analagous to the behavior of
 >  BM> people who want to bring you up to date on all the latest
 >  BM> treatments?  Your lack of faith, your unwillingness to have
 >  BM> surgery, etc.

 > Some of us have been bitten once, and are now twice
 > shy.

Isn't that the truth!

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