Barbara McNay wrote to George Pope, "When is it a disorder whe" on 10-23-05
20:13

 > On (22 Oct 05) Cindy Haglund wrote to WAYNE
 > CHIRNSIDE...
 >  CH>
 >  CH> I learned two things from this article.
 >  CH>
 >  CH> 1. The Deaf (born deaf) community do not regard themselves ad
 >  CH> 'disabled'...

 > I had a senior neighbour who watched a news program on
 > the C.I. and
 > interviewed some mothers who said they would not get
 > it for their deaf
 > child, because they didn't want to deny their child
 > "their deaf
 > community" -- my friend's view was that the parents
 > were making an evil
 > crime of denying their children the gifts, for
 > example, of
 > knowing/appreciating music.

 > Certainly being deaf, if the world is willing/able to
 > care enough about
 > them as being fellow citizens in human society to
 > communicate with them!
 > ("all you-all")

 >  CH> 2. Besides the FACT CI's do not restore full hearing (tone wise
 >  CH> required for speech indentation for example)- in all individuals and
 >  CH> I will tell you another fact: silence is preferable to noise...
 >  CH> besides these two 'shuts them up every time" facts CI's can pose a
 >  CH> danger (read: serious injury) to the wearer should they receive a blow
 >  CH> to
 >  CH> the head.

 > But isn't it worth it, if it helps SOME get normal
 > hearing, so they can:

 BM> But this is the point you've missed, George.  The hearing afforded by
 BM> CI's is not at all normal; it's a last resort and a poor substitute
 BM> for the real thing.  Cindy says "tone," where the
 BM> terminology I would use is "frequency." There are times
 BM> when I hear people speak, but it sounds nothing to me like
 BM> a voice, not to mention that it's unintelligible.  Above a
 BM> certain frequency, music is just noise to me, because at
 BM> that point, I can't distinguish among frequencies. This
 BM> relates to Cindy's statement that "silence is preferable to
 BM> noise."


 > -know & appreciate "music"?
 > -have the ability to hear warnings of danger (eg.
 > accellerating car
 >  around the corner, barking dog on the move,
 > rattlesnake rattle, etc.)
 > -be able to more easily communicate with more people
 > using all the
 >  abilities that God/Nature/Evolution has bestowed on
 > the human creature

 BM> All of the above, then, are things that many people with
 BM> defective hearing can't do, sometimes even with
 BM> amplification.

 > It's like trying to communicate with dolphins, in
 > their environment --
 > we're crippled -- if it was important to communicate
 > with them we'd have
 > to overcome our disabilities of being land-bound, and
 > mute/deaf, as far
 > as dolpin-style communication goes!)

 > Okay, I know what you're thinking(I think): f***
 > communicating with the
 > dolphins; I'll live my life without it and be
 > perfectly happy!"

 > But born-deaf children aren't as separated from
 > hearing society as
 > we-all are from dolphins

 BM> I disagree, here.  I think they probably are, unless
 BM> society makes diligent and persistent efforts to
 BM> communicate "tries to communicate with the dolphins"--which
 BM> it too often does not.

 > Society is stronger (collectively & individually) with
 > greater
 > unity(through communication), so we each have a
 > greater opportunity to
 > achieve our highest potential(cf. Maslow's Hierarchy
 > of Needs)!

 > Let's say you get injured somehow(bit by a
 > rattlesnake, e.g.)

 > We NEED the industrialization we have to have a means
 > to contribute so
 > as to earn some sort of recompense to provide for
 > necessities (food,
 > shelter, medical, etc.)

 > Doesn't it stand to reason that the easier it is, the
 > higher we can go
 > in our paths?

 > Who can achieve greater success climbing a mountain?
 > a) s/he who climbs the cliffs straight up (without
 > equipmint/training)
 > b) s/he who does the same, but with proper equipment/
 > training
 > c) s/he who follows the nicely marked hiking trail
 > that meanders around
 >    the worst obstacles
 > d) s/he who is dropped off at the top by helicopter.

 > If the goal is to reach the top, "d" clearly wins,
 > because "D" ably
 > overcame all disabilities.

 > EVERYBODY has disabilities; but society defines some
 > as more
 > overt/problematic than others, but the fact remains
 > that ALL have them!

 > A friend of mine was in a local mall having a
 > smoke(back in the day!)
 > and saw a young girl in a wheelchair who was a
 > quadruple amputee;
 > Heather, naturally, had a first reaction, internally,
 > of "awwww, what a
 > darn shame for someone so young & pretty!"

 > Well, it must have showed somehow, because this girl
 > wheels herself over
 > right in front of Heather and says, "Don't you DARE
 > feel sorry for me! I
 > *KNOW* what MY disability is -- what's YOURS?"

 > Heather, instead of getting offended, allowed that to
 > sink in and
 > thought about it all that day, and became a
 > better(more enlightened)
 > person because of it -- she shared it with us later
 > that night, and I,
 > too, have become more enlightened because of it (I
 > didn't experience
 > what Heather did, but through the miracle of equitable
 > clear
 > communication I could learn the same lessons/values as
 > she did!)

 >  CH> This info needs to be known by the general public. So when they meet a
 >  CH> latent deaf/deaf or HOH (hard of hearing) person they might THINK
 >  CH> before
 >  CH> brightly well intentionally bringing the subject up. ((Especially to a
 >  CH> born deaf ("DEAF" ) person. You may as well stick
your hand into hot
 >  CH> fire...
 >  CH> Do us all us hearing impaired persons a favor. Don't. We already KNOW.

 > Not all do -- there are mobility-challenged people in
 > our society who
 > are unaware that there are wheelchairs/scooters, and
 > these are FAR more
 > well-known than C.I.s!

 > I think there's a dual responsibility:

 > 1) on the part of the caring hearing person making
 > sure the born-deaf
 > knows about all options available, to STFU quickly if
 > the other's
 > response is anything but open!

 BM> George, it's reasonable to assume that children are taken to doctors by
 BM> their parents, and it's reasonable to assume that adults
 BM> (especially if they tell you they hear poorly or were born
 BM> with poor hearing) know what, if any, options are
 BM> available. It's offensive and presumptious for anybody to
 BM> walk up to a person with hearing problems and start
 BM> "informing" them of options available.  Most adults consult
 BM> doctors occasionally, and these doctors would be able to
 BM> make an intelligent assesment of the nature of their
 BM> patient's hearing.  If something new came up on the
 BM> horizon, *the patient's own physician(s)*, regardless of
 BM> his specialty, would know whether it might be applicable to
 BM> that patient, and tell him so.  Everybody else, the man on
 BM> the street, the coworker, etc., is just a sidewalk
 BM> superintendent.

How many people had laser surgery under the advice of a physician, and
are now hitting the mid-life stretch? I've heard even tri-focal lenses
can't restore their vision, and as near-sighted as they used to be,
they are twice the amount far-sighted now. 

 > 2) on the part of the born-deaf confronted by a well-
 > meaning person, to
 > politely/civilly acknowledge their intent to be
 > helpful. . .

 BM> It gets old really fast, especially if they keep making an issue of it.

Like that person that attempts to wrestle the door from you to 'help',
how many times have I been viewed with scorn because I will not
consider, or press for a hip replacement? 

The hip *joint* is not my problem, but a recipient of abuse. Maybe,
when my hip joint has taken as much abuse as it can, THEN a titanium
replacement might do me some good. Until then, it would be just
another useless procedure. Well, useless to me anyway.

 > I know people in wheelchairs who DEMAND to be allowed
 > to go first
 > (elevators, lineups, bus lineups, etc.) but I don't --
 > I know that it's
 > the social convention that I be allowed priority use
 > of elevators, but I
 > recognize that they're public facilities, and if I'm
 > not first in line,
 > then I may well have to wait my turn!

 > In lineups at the grocery store/etc. I tend to
 > offer(insist sometimes)
 > for standing seniors to go ahead of me (I remember how
 > difficult/tiring/painful it was for me, when walking
 > with a cane to wait
 > too long in lineups!)

 > I will also usually offer/insist that ladies go ahead
 > of me (just
 > because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I can't/
 > shouldn't be a
 > gentleman!)


 >  CH> I'm working on a witty comeback for next time. Any suggestions?
 >  CH> George?
 >  CH> you're my best bet with witty comebacks! :)
 >  CH>
 >  CH> How about...(someone Innocently asks : "have you heard of Cochlear
 >  CH> implants.....  "Why yes and  have you heard of frontal
lobe implants?"
 >  CH> 7Oh something like that...

Maybe Cindy needs to retort, "No, I can't hear a thing!"


 > Years ago, I was visiting one of those little store-
 > front type community
 > churches (happened to be of the "Charismaniac"
 > variety) and I was
 > walking with my cane.  A sweet lady asked me if she
 > could pray for me, I
 > thanked her and acceded -- I'm sure her doing so made
 > her feel good for
 > the day, and what the hell, it didn't do squat to
 > me(or FOR me, but
 > whatever.. *G*)

 > Well, a week or two later I was back again visiting,
 > and this same lady
 > comes up to me, rather upset with me, because I wasn't
 > healed
 > (apparently my limping called into question her faith/
 > etc.) so she
 > starts lighting into me about how my weak faith has
 > left me crippled,
 > and unless I believed properly, I was going to STAY
 > crippled.

 > Well, I know this type -- and I knew I was only the
 > current victim of
 > her ignorance/insecurity, and that many others
 > wouldn't be as able as I
 > to withstand it without psychological/emotional
 > damage, so I turned on
 > the anger(just a WEE!) and turned on HER:

 > "Listen, lady, maybe you better take some classes &
 > READ your Bible
 > instead of allowing it to collect dust so it can be
 > showed off to your
 > guests how GOOD you are in having it out in the open!
 > Maybe you recall
 > a sermon where it was read/taught that Jesus said when
 > you pray, pray
 > BELIEVING, and it WILL BE DONE according to how you
 > ask! Do NOT attempt
 > to condemn ME because YOUR faith was too weak to heal
 > me -- what are you
 > trying to do?  Jerk me around, lift up my hopes for
 > nothing?  You are
 > blaspheming the Lord when you do that!"

 BM> Do you realize that this is analagous to the behavior of
 BM> people who want to bring you up to date on all the latest
 BM> treatments?  Your lack of faith, your unwillingness to have
 BM> surgery, etc.

Some of us have been bitten once, and are now twice shy.


... Women who seek to be equal to men, lack ambition.
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