Edward, I apologize if my reply offended you and you found parts
of it insulting.  Most of the time I don't make much effort to "read
between the lines" of someone's post, so just chill out.  Perhaps I
was out of line, but it wasn't meant to be insulting.
        Being on the receiving end of your message, taking it as I read
it, that's excactly how it appeared to me... a complaint about those who
were complaining, from someone who was making some "holier than thou"
kind of tirade.  I run with a crowd that plays serious hardball, so I
was just echoing back the attitude I perceived from your post.
        I guess it goes to show that sometimes the message sent is not
the message received.
ES>I agree that it is wise to talk about the problem and get it out in
ES>the open. Yes!  But once you have and feedback is offered, then it
ES>is time for action.  We must do something about the problem.  On
ES>the other hand, if feedback is offered, (and often times I have
ES>given it), and the person doesn't do anything based of the
ES>feedback offered, then they are stuck in rut.  This is where I
ES>have a problem with it.  If more than one person tells you the
ES>same thing don't you think that maybe there's something thta you
ES>should do about it?
        Anyway, as far as action being taken after advice is given,
while we may expect someone to take action, it just doesn't always
happen right away, don't you agree?  C'mon, how many times have you just
"jumped" on someone else's advice?  You talk about more than one person
saying the same thing and that then it should be time for action as if
you've never procrastinated on anything in your life. ;)
        Check this out...  A while back I became enmeshed in a wicked
love affair with a married woman in the program.  Sick, sick, sick.  It
threatened both my sobriety and my life.  When things started to get
really screwy and I asked for advice, of course I got the most helpful
advice from most people,  which was to get out before I get hurt.
        It was really, really sick.  And I'm talking people who have
years and years of sobriety.
        I was already getting hurt.  Big Time.  But I kept right on
going.  Guess how long it took me to save myself anymore pain?  How long
was it before I took action?  2 years.  2 years, bro, I stayed in this
sick triangle, bitching about what she was doing to me and what he did
to me, and all the while hearing from my friends that I was doing it to
myself by being involved in a situation I didn't belong in.  Three is a
crowd in a house that God built, ya know?  Anyway, like I said, it took
me 2 years of pain and suffering before I finally removed myself from
the situation.  And who knows, maybe God removed me from the situation.
So pain was definitely the motivator there.
        Pain was the motivator in the beginning of it all, as I got
involved in order to save myself the pain of lonliness.  Pain was the
motivator in the end, as I realized that the pain of lonliness was
preferrable to the pain of loving someone who didn't return that love.
        In some situations, yes, it would be wise to get motivated right
away, other times things just gotta run their course.  One example of
the former in my life was when I was procrastinating on the 5th step for
a long time.  My sponsor kept asking me if I hahd made an appointment
with anyone or had thought about someone who would hear it.  Well, one
day he asked me this and I said, "Everything in God's time...", kinda
snickering under my breath, but then he said, "Well, God's time is
tomorrow at 4:30pm.  I made an appointment for you...".
ES>Thank you for taking my inventory.  I hope it helped you keep the focus o
        Gee, I guess everything I know about AA is on page 562.
 * SLMR 2.1a * Harrass an agnostic.  Burn a question mark in his yard!
--- SLMAIL v4.5a  (#4334)
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