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echo: 12_steps
to: EDWARD SOTT
from: TAMMY AMES
date: 1997-03-15 17:21:00
subject: something occured to me

-> Something just occured to me and set me thinking.  Oft times in AA
-> meetings within my area I hear the following.  "Is anyone having a
-> problem staying away from a drink today, a living problem that might
-> lead them to a drink, or a topic they wish do discuss?"  This is a
-> very interesting statement to me.  If I'm not mistaken we all have
-> some trial and tribulations while living life on it's terms.  But
-> just becuase there is a little problem I need to clear up does that
-> mean I need to talk about it at an AA meeting?  I really think that a
-> lot of the meetings are loosing the focus.  THe focus is how we got
-> sober, how we stay sober, and how we can help others stay sober.
-> It's not to sit and have a complaint session on what he/she/it did to
-> me today.  It's how I'm able to handle things differently as a result
-> of being sober that matters.  I've sit in meetings time and time
-> again hearing the same people moan about their bosses, their
-> families, their wives, etc. asking evrybody for feedback.  I fully
-> beleive that if they wish to stay sober do something different.
-> Admit they are powerless not only over alcohol but everything, find
-> out where they have the power to make a personal change, and use the
-> opportunity presented to do exactly that.
->
-> IF anyone has an opinion on what I've just said feel free.
I can't begin to tell you how many times i've the exact or very same
thoughts...
While i can admit that in my early recovery, , I found it very comforting to hear these topics, as that is
how I learned how much we were all alike, I am also of the opinion and
belief that complaints about disgruntled coworkers and such are not the
intended purpose of meetings, and instead, these are the things that
sponsors, fellowship time and the telephone ought be used for...
It wasn't too long ago, that nearly an entire meeting was spent with a
person discussing their unhappiness at work ...
anyway, with only 8 minutes left in the meeting, the floor finally
opened up, allowing others to share...in the back of the room a hand
went up, when acknowledged, a young man introduced himself and shared
that his younger brother had been killed that same morning, and that he
 was fighting very hard to remain that
way, scared that before the night ended he'd be drunk in an effort to
block out his pain...he knew it wasn't really a solution, as do we all
when we choose to pick up again, so instead of the bar, he'd made his
way to the meeting...That meeting went an hour over....but I left
feeling sad that he'd sat back there waiting to share something so vital
to his very life while someone else droned endlessly about not liking
their job...
                                Tammy
--- QScan/PCB v1.17b / 01-0406
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* Origin: Knight Moves - Rochester,NY 716-865-2106 (1:2613/313)

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