Long ago on  bbs far far away (my first).... I Innocently, (seeking
other people with same situation)- (cough) - mentioned (cough)- my
(cough) uh ahem ahem hearing loss (ahem). I was flamed. Being flamed
came to me as big shock. I understand why people flame those who admit
they've got a 'problem in public. I do. They hold us in contempt, ALL
of us ... because of the few assholes who use their disability as a
sympathy getting card. As an excuse to do wrong. IE: Not long ago
there was mention in the Fido Doghouse echo  someone witnessed a
disabled person beating his obviously underfed dog. The witness asked
if he should report this incident.... we all said loudly YES! Just
because the dog owner is disabled in a wheel chair doesn't give him
the right to be cruel to animals....

This explains to me why we who are disabled get flamed.

Then there's this Abby letter today. A woman wants to know how to
politely respond to inquiries at work about her mother. She tells us
all her mother was murdered by a serial killer 16 years ago, and was a
prostitute. She is embarrassed/nervous when asked about her mother and
does not want to lie. Abby advises and wisely that she need not GIVE
CHAPTER AND VERSE .... (hint here)...
All she has to say is, "my mother passed away years ago"... this is
the truth.  She need to divulge anything else. And she should not be
ashamed either. The OT idea of children suffering the sins of the
father so to speak is stupid.... to say the least.

MY point in this last paragraph is we don't have to divulge personal
info to anybody. If they press us for details all we need to say is,
"that's personal' ... and change the subject. We need not feel ashamed
nor obliged to give out info that's Nobody's business!!! :( I tell
myself this all the time because I am one of those who do feel
compelled to say more than necessary. And I know some others who are
too...0 It's a hard habit to break.

How do the two topics relate to each other? Easy. Being an open book
is a disability in of itself. When we open up too much.. well prepare
to get that book slammed shut with our nose stuck in the middle... :(

PS: This need to be open /honest is not uncommon. Remember that book
'I feel guilty when I say no"?? heh.

Cindy


--- PPoint 3.01