JK> Yes, same here.  Doug's coming down with MS was quite a surprise to
 JK> him, no doubt.

 Unanticipated changes in our health are like that which is why those
 of us who must bear those unforeseen changes can not help but be annoyed
 by those who complain about well-warned/anticipated bad health
 they brought on by their own actions (but readily blame someone or
 something else.) I do not think I need to illustrate. We see it-
 stupidity- all around every day and all we can do is sum it up with a
 shrug and a sigh. BUT above all: a sense of humor.

 Great book: "i've got a brain tumor, what's your excuse?" ((Google
this it's on amazon.com)) It's a very witty self effacing autobio
about a writer who struggled to regain damage to her speech center
after having brain surgery. The book itself is her therapy. :)
I'll get the author's name if y'all want. I did post it once here
awhile ago. Hmm. Loved that book.
...........


 JK> Find your own kind?? Lol, what a line! :)  I bet you had to hold off
 JK> from slamming them in the head   I don't know if I could have
 JK> :) :) :)

 THANK YOU! Bless you bless you bless you!!! You don't know how close
I had come to wanting to do that very thing. Then I had to wrestle
with myself saying : they don't mean it in the mean castigating way it
sounds. They feel, I do believe- on the surface: we'd simply be happier
with our own kind. But actually they're saying this:

"I'm a chicken and can't stand being around you. You make me feel
uncomfortable. I can't POSSIBLY communicate with you in any way other
than speech/hearing. I can't do this cyber thing or that ASL thing.
OOOH talking with fingers is crazy people talk!!! I can't! I simply CAN'T
AND I WON'T and nobody else wants to either so just go away....  "

That is what they are actually saying though if you confront them
they'll get further bent out of shape and accuse you of being
paranoid. As in: "what? We're ignoring YOu? NO we're not ignoring you.
What's their to ignore? You're not there!!! Now be a good dog and go
lay down and be quiet!"


Two words not printable here to them. And the Italian Brush off made
famous by the Godfather (TM) besides.

That is to say: If they tune you out Your best recourse is to simply
DO the Same. Amen. My own kind. LOL. Now come to think of it that is
kind a funny!!!
................................

 JK> That's probably people afraid of technology, that's all I can guess..

 Yep. And I am slowly forcing myself to accept that the Problem is
with THEM. Not me. And I shouldn't take it personally that THEY can't
and won't bother to learn other ways to communicate.. with ANYONE, not
just me. But ANYBODY. This 'don't take it personally' has been a hard
thing to master. I mean when someone suggests you 'don't take it
personally' and you don't know how, then you learn somehow. The way I
learned and am still learning is:  'Don't Care. Because their
intolerance is not my problem.' (IOW the difficulty in learning this
sill lies in realizing whose problem it is... and disassociating one's
own experiences with it. )

.............

 JK> > Note on MS: please research online as there are many many very good
 JK> > support groups. And even though this sounds cruel, please if it
 JK> > helps... just remember this when you are down, " At least I can
 JK> > hear"...

 JK> Actually deafness, blindness, and much more can be a part of MS.  It
 JK> depends on the type of MS you have, more so what part of your brain is

I know. I've an aunt and a cousin inflicted with it. Oddly the
daughter came down with it first, then her mother. I often do wonder
now if they regret being so vain- especially toward me. Pretty harsh
way to learn  a lesson.

IOW: If "you" dislike someone because they're different by no fault of
their own: just wait!

You'd think this sort of thing would make people think twice before
castigating someone- but it doesn't. Few people seldom learn the easy way.
*by example.

I hate to sound spiteful and yes I KNOW it is spiteful! But ...
uh do I have to say it?

To those who have cast me out because I am deaf, but now they suffer
conditions they can do nothing to change either and by no fault of
their own: I got my cross to bear, that the likes of you made all the
heavier... now you got yours. Sorry, but don't expect sympathy or
even empathy- from me. I'll never say this. But I feel it. I make it
go away because I know it's not healthy to be spiteful-  and anything
unhealthy isn't worth the added burden considering the source-
taking on.

..................................

 JK> being affected at the time.  For me, it  happens with
 JK> Replapsing/Remitting MS like I have, "now and then".. 
When MS first
 JK> hit my ears and eyes, my right ear was just "gone" one
day, and so was
 JK> my vision in both eyes.  My vision and hearing came back though. For
 JK> some people with MS, it never comes back.

 Don't be shocked if when you are in remission someone says you['re
 pretending....  when remission occurs.

 When I could still hear with my right ear (volume more than tone)
 but not at all with the left ear, family members would be confused
 accuse me of only hearing when I wanted to- oh like when they were at my
 right ear for example. Otherwise perfectly intelligent people can't
 figure that out????????

 Then I remind myself that people often know more about their cars and
 sports than they do about their own bodies. I find it strange that we
 should be strangers to our bodies. Even squeamish. Weird.
                                                          
.......................

 JK> >please. Again I know this is mean to say- but believe me,
 JK> > even though we who are latent deaf 'get used to it' as any of us do
 JK> to > a disability- as said- the hardest part to get used to is the
 JK> attitude > of the hearing world.

 JK> That can be very true :)  I just ignore the idiots in the world.. It's
 JK> their problem, not mine 

  I'm with you Janis thank you for giving me the strength to do so as
  well. I guess I just need some company. Exactly that: their
  intolerance isn't MY problem. It's theirs.
  ......

 JK> > I guess I TOO count my blessings. I do. Yes there
 JK> > are worse things than being deaf. And, sorry I know it's a sorry
 JK> fate > indeed but the worse thing is not MS.

 JK> I would never try to categorize someone's disability as "better" or

 I know. It's an old byproduct habit where when we (most of us?)
were little and feeling sorry for ourselves for one reason or another
over something we couldn't do anything about but accept and move on
with- we were supposed to be comforted with "think of someone worse off"...

I have always hated that because then you're feeling better off some one
else's misfortune. Yet again I guess ..  it works. It's part of that
'Count Your Blessings" deal. I do suppose we can find things as
blessings that don't include those worse off than ourselvs?

When it comes to being stuck in Texas for example I like to think:
better than being stuck up north. (Which is where I am from but do not
want to return to as I am very adverse to northern winters.)
..........................

 JK> "worse" or "easier to take" or anything like
that, but I will say that
 JK> getting MS did force me to look at my life in a different way.  I

 I know which is why I feel ashamed when I do what I said up there. I
have to remember too that- for example- those who hear can't empathize
with the deaf so when they whine about loud noise say- telling them be glad
you can hears, doesn't compute with them at all.
...............................

 JK> taught myself to program computers, and then I taught Ron ... I
 JK> don't know if I would have even bothered to get a computer way back
 JK> then if I hadn't gottten MS . Sometimes it takes a shock to
 JK> one's system to realize one's potential.

That's adapting; channeling energies abilities positively :) And that
is great!

We are very fortunate to have this technology. Very much indeed.

cindy

... 'Nuff said.

--- PPoint 3.01