an example of what you are talking about - how the literature must 
change - in the 12 and 12 of AA an example is given of dependence on a 
Higher Power as being like a polio sufferer confined to an "iron lung" 
- I suggest that if you did a survey of how many high school graduates 
of this last class (June 1996) have an clue as to what an "iron lung" 
is and I bet not many would.  Now if you change it to a person having 
had bypass surgery who is hooked up to a respirator, viva la 
difference!  And yet the MEANING is intact.
.
Much of the grammatical expression in the Big Book is just so archaic. 
The chapter to the wives has very little to do with the lives of most 
women today who can work if they want to and who can get out easily - 
they don't HAVE to hang around and put up with it, as they used to.
(Al-Anon literature also needs to reflect that change, in my opinion - 
although that saved my life as much as AA did; however, in another way)
Some of it is kind of insulting to women today, to be blunt about it, 
IN MY OPINION.  
.
About the steps, well, my personal suggestion is that following the 
example of survivors of incest anonymous might help.  They have the 
steps of SIA - the basic 12 from AA with "the abuse" substituted for 
alcohol in step one and "other survivors" substituted for alcoholics in
step twelve.  Then we have an adapted 12 steps of SIA - which, among 
other things, refers to the Higher Power as He or She each time it is 
mentioned.  Each SIA member chooses - with his or her sponsor - which 
steps work best for him or her.  I think some of the defensiveness that
is coming up in response to this discussion on both sides - certainly 
true for me - is that each side sees something as going to be taken 
away from him or her.  If I choose to use the adapted steps I've found 
in SIA, then, by all means, I will do so - but this does NOT, 
absolutely NOT, mean that I would forbid someone else to use the 
original steps, if that works better for them.  Heaven - and Earth - 
forbid as that could kill them.  But I don't like being told not to do 
what works for me, either.  I was always taught in AA and other 
fellowships, if it works, don't fix it.
.
--- TriToss (tm) Professional 10.0 - #66
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