I once heard a man I know with over forty years sober put it this way- 
he said some folks seem to think that we should substitute Bill W. and 
the 12 steps in the Bible for Moses and the 10 commandments.   Back 
then, I drank coffee - and I choked on mine when he said that, from 
laughing.
.
Frankly, I don't know what's happening around these echoes of late.
I wish people could LIGHTEN UP - and that includes myself.  Is Mercury 
retrograde (grin) or something?
.
And Eddy - the oldtimer who made the above remark - was saying that he 
saw AA becoming a "cult" in some areas back in 1979 when I first met 
him.  (NO I'm not sober that long - just nine plus years, which I guess
may mean something here, that I'm doing SOMETHING right in spite of 
anyone else's opinion)
.
I guess questioning AA didn't hurt HIS sobriety any - forty something 
years, and growing.
.
Oh, I think that in some ways some parts of AA are definitely turning 
into a cult.  The group I USED to belong to was taken over by 2 
oldtimers.  They have decided ON THEIR OWN without a business meeting 
to no longer permit the women from one local half-way house to come to 
meetings because they have kids, they have told one person he could no 
longer speak or chair at that meeting - a guy named Allen  - again, on 
their own, they changed the format of the meeting on their own, when I 
told another old-timer (twenty-something) years agout it and he tried 
to talk to them, he says he was told that it was THEIR (person) meeting
and if he didn't f***ing like it, he could leave, etc.  (We did bring 
it to intergroup and was told nothing could be done as groups are 
autonmomous)
.
The ONLY time they have a business meeting is to get people to sign up 
to bring food for the anniversary/xmas party.  Although the two guys 
who took it over also have double digit sobriety, I don't know many 
people who like them.   I used to go to that meeting almost daily, now 
I very seldom, if ever, go.  In fact, right now I go to Narcotics 
Anonymous because they also stress that alcohol is a drug and one is 
not clean if one drinks alcohol and I also used pot and pills in the 
bad olde days.  Besides that, I have transportation to get there - 
something I've had little or no luck getting from AA IN THIS AREA (and,
yes, I've asked frequently - never had this problem in MD. or VA. or 
anywhere else.  Since I am legally blind and otherwise disabled, this 
is a big plus - being able to get there.)  I've found I've actually 
enjoyed NA more because people just are not as rigid there as they are 
in local AA.  Of course AA in theory isn't really the problem.  It's 
individuals - in the traditions section of AA's 12 and 12 it talks 
about "elder statesman" who try to control groups or segments of AA and
get hurt feelings and resentments when they get shot down.  So 
apparently this is not a new problem.  I find when AA groups actually 
FOLLOW the traditions the way they are written, things work out okay 
and go pretty smoothely - but I also find this just isn't happening 
today and the principle of groups taking inventory of their own 
behavior as a unit seems to be completely absent.
.
What I have found helpful with this is what I used to do with that AA 
group I used to attend.  At one time, that meeting had a very religious
flavor - Christian, Roman Catholic to be precise.  At the weekly step 
meeting I was even told I had to take steps 3 and 5 as a confession 
with a Roman Catholic priest in recovery or it would not work - he 
nearly gagged on that, by the way.  But I just kept sharing - every 
time we did the 2d or 3d step or 11th or whatever- how I felt about 
this.  Not what I thought, but how uncomfortable it made me feel.  
After a while, not only did it stop happening, but the group ended up 
with Jewish folks and Budhists and all kinds of wonderful diversity - 
and most of these folks are still sober.   And I felt it was 
clique-like, so every time I went and started to get a resentment that 
nobody was talking to me, I found a new-comer and started talking to 
them.  It was better FOR ME to light one candle than to curse the 
darkness - esp. since this group was the only one I could get to at 
that time and I knew I needed meetings or I was going under.  
Unfortunately, FOR ME, AA (or NA) is like medicine for Diabetes - I 
don't have to like it, I just have to use it.  And as long as I 
continue to make room for AA or NA in my life, I'll find a way to 
"access" my recovery - in spite of the b*st*rds, I may not like in my 
group or here or there.  (And they probably see ME as being a "b*tch" 
too - we're not required to like each other, thank goodness.)
.
This is hard for me as I have always had a very difficult time keeping 
the focus on me, but I am the only one I might have a chance of 
changing - with the cooperation of my Higher Power.
.
Of course a lot of the problems in the AA group I describe also 
happened, in a way, because the "group conscience" permitted it to 
happen.  I can criticize the two old-timers in some ways; however, the 
group let it happen and I can understand how they may have got to feel 
a resentment that led them to take over.  It happened by everyone 
else's default.  It was a noon, downtown group.  People came in late on
lunch hour at work and left early to get back to work on time.  NOBODY 
much wanted to do the work.  These guys ended up doing almost all the 
work.  I think they may have believed that this gave them the right (or
the necessity) to do as they did - and are doing, to the best of my 
knowledge.  So it was a two-sided coin.  I feel I have the right to say
something when I did because, at the time, I had been very involved 
there and helped wherever I could - at one time chairing a meeting 
every other week for a couple of years.    People who don't participate
in the work can't complain when they aren't asked to participate in the
decision making either - or at least, shouldn't complain too much.
.
As long as AA maintains the split between old-timers and newcomers, 
I do think we are missing out on so much from both sides of the fence -
and many in AA (on both sides) do seem to do this.
--- TriToss (tm) Professional 10.0 - #66
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