0n (22 Jan 06) BOB KLAHN wrote to CINDY HAGLUND...

 CH> Hi all. Well we're finally getting rain today. Real rain!
 CH> So anyway did you see the Dear Abby letter that brings home
 CH> "you can't get taken advantage of without your permission"

 BK>  I never bought into that.


 There is as always with everything an exception. IE: rape.

 What she is saying in the context of social activities such as
parties or favors, is: It's okay to say NO. That is what the advice is
suppsed to be saying. It's okay to say, no.

We don't have to be doormats. And if we DO allow ourselves to be
doormats who do we have to blame but ourselves.


We may blame the doormatter but then it's our problem we let them walk
all over us because the only reason they do is because we let them.

IE: If a neighborkeeps dropping in on you without notice and just
plane bores you to death but you never say a word because you don't
want to "hurt their feelings".... um. Have you ever considered what
they are doing to YOUR feelings and that yes YOUR feelings DO
matter?:... we're so blindly taught that it's selfish to care about
ourselves first. I don't buy that at all. IF being nice means you
have to be all stressed out, I think you're doing yourself a big
diservice. So instead of bitching about it, stand up for yourself and
tactfully tell the boor to buzz off. (Some Boors are not really boors
but just lonely so try to get them interested in other activities
besides you. BUT REAL Boors- tact won't work. You gatta be up front
and tell them they're not welcome. IF they take offense and you feel
guilty (that is they make it your problem not theirs), I'd say get
counseling or a goodd shot of self esteem ... oh get busy and just get
them out of your hair. hmm yeah. GOod!?


Note on the lonely types. SOem people just need some help getting
themselvs on track. Once there they're more likely to be a good friend
rather than a pest.

 BK> ...

 CH> This poses a good question. Is it rude to put an end to
 CH> rudeness?

 BK>  No.

 Tnanks. I tell this to somebody who thinks it's rude to wave your
hand at offending smoke. I say no it's not.

she alos thinks it's rude to say no, to a JW passing out their
brainwash paraphenalia. Why? You have every right to say no to a
brainwash pusher as they have to push it in the first place.


 CH>  Should we simply be mice just to keep peace? I

 BK>  No, that rewards the rudeness.

 Exactly! This goes much much deeper and further. Consider young teens
who get into drugs. Parents who deny/enable them... instead of taking
charge and getting their kids the help they so desperatley need.

I was reading something quite deep about how booze addiction will kill
you alot faster than casual illegal drug use. Hmm.

cinders

--- PPoint 3.01