- Area: Funny Jokes and Stories 
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My sources have informed me that UPN is struggling with it's current
lineup of shows, and will likely be replacing several of them with
new ones for next season.  Since ST:V'ger is probably the one show
that is keeping UPN alive, it occurs to me that it would be wise for
UPN to continue this theme by replacing their failing programs with
ST variants that would cover the variety of genres necessary for a
contemporary network.  Here are some examples I think would serve
UPN's purposes well.
Starfleet Academy
     Cadet Crusher gets into fun teenage hijinks with his pals,
     Cadets Dylan, Kelly, Brandon, etc.
ST: Holobaywatch
     The uniforms are a bit more revealing on this iteration of Star
     Trek, that has our officers acting as lifeguards at a holodeck
     beach simulation.
ST: Ensign, with Children
     Partake of the life of Ensign Bundy and his family, whose home
     is the Galaxy class starship, USS Chicago.
Barney the Borg
     A role model for children of all ages, Barney doesn't want to
     just help you imagine, he wants to help you 'assimilate.'  "I
     love you, You love me; Resistance is futility"
Mighty Morphin' Power Cadets
     Starfleet Academy's campus at Angel Grove is under threat of
     hostile alien takeover.  And only the Mighty Morphin' Power
     Cadets can stop Lord Zed and his foul monsters.
ST: Starsky & Hutch
     Roaming the streets in their Coca-Cola colored grav-car, these
     two undercover cops clean up the mean streets of... (Oops.  I
     forgot; there aren't any 'mean streets' on Earth nowadays.)
That should be adequate to fill out UPN's schedule for now.  But if
UPN expands soon, here are a couple more suggestions to help their
share of TV time grow.
ST: ER
     The sickbay of Starbase 42 is the center of this compelling
     drama about Doctors and Nurses under constant pressure from
     incoming trauma victims and personal tragedy.  (Oh the
     humanity...)
ST: The Y-Files
     The Truth is out there.  And Lieutenants Mulder and Scully are
     determined to find it, even when Admiral Skinner doesn't
     approve.
This is Chris Carter, programming director of UPN, (Utterly
Pointless Network) signing off...
Chris - carter@teleport.com
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