0n (19 Apr 05) Janis Kracht wrote to Cindy Haglund...

 JK> Hi Cindy!

>> > Hi. I saw some messages in here at fidoechomail archive online...
>> > looks interesting. I know George Pope from elsewhere. What is the
>> okay > theme to discuss?
>> I think anything really, but mostly related to how 'Abled' people are

 JK> > That is what George told me. It's so we disabled people can have our
 JK> > fun with the sorry ignorance of the abled toward disabilities, but
 JK> in > Ah  healthy humorous way.

 JK> Laugh :)  Boy aren't there times in real life when you'd love to feed
 JK> some people a dose of that :) :)

 You betcha! :) OOOOH.. Dear Abby and Miss Manners' columns reflect on
 just how much gall there is out there and it's not aimed at only the
disabled. It's at anyone with a difference a total stranger takes upon
themselves to comment on our ask personal questions of. The victim
often being too polite for their own good will submit, and fume later.

One good rejoinder to such busy bodies comes from Ms Manners to a
woman asking how to deal with crass remarks of a co-worker wrt her
wheel chair driving. Perhaps you saw it? Gosh I should have cut it out
and FRAMED it! :) IT was a WINNER !!!!

The story goes like this. The woman is new and the cad is an older man
and has seniority therefore of course she feels 'properly cowed' when
he teases "don't run anybody over!" At first she took this as a
friendly jibe but it continued.. time and time again. She thought of
writing him a note letting him know how much his remarks bothered her
but Ms Manners is right when she said : if he's the bully you suspect
him to be such asking for mercy will only encourage him. TRUE!

So here it is. The golden words that I hope this woman used and I
would LOVE to know the reaction! :)

Ms Manners advised : At the next encounter (the cad was always with
others btw usually on the way to or from the cafeteria)- he makes that
remark. Face him close, smile, use a firm but friendly tone of voice: "You
know (man's name) I would never even think of running anyone over, but
seeing how it is you've been putting that idea into my head so often,
please let me apologize ahead of time should I do it." (This is my
part.. then 'accidentally' run over his foot in turning around.)

Gotta love that! I'm always cheering for the underdog. Too often too
many times bullies never get their comeuppance as they deserve.

A good rejoinder to rude questions is: "If it was any of your business
you'd be the first to know.' If that's too rude try a humorous reply
I know there's one .. I think it's something like *in a cheerful
voice: "well hey I'm writing a book about nosy people.. may I interview
you?" :) how's that? 

 JK> > Good heavens we need humor!!! That's the
 JK> > biggest issue with disabilities, more so than the disability itself.
 JK> > All that 'helpful devices/ compensations' in the world won't make
 JK> > up for what a good sense of humor affords: survival.
 JK> > I'm still working on mine. :)

 JK> It's true - if you can't laugh at yourself (and this goes for more
 JK> than just 'abled folks ), you aren't much .  My
husband and I
 JK> have had times when things would get us down early on, but we had to
 JK> keep our sense of humor through it all.. maybe we're just a little
 JK> weird though 

 Plus if you can't laugh at yourself (self effacing humor) everyone
else will all the more. I had a friend in high school who had lost a
front tooth in a soft ball game at a younger age. The fake tooth
didn't quite match her natural teeth so she'd get teased about it.
Guess how she handled it! :) She'd simply push the tooth out with her
tongue and stick it out at the offending party! :) :) They'd laugh
too and they'd not pick on her about it anymore. If it's not a problem
with you it can't be something for others (who need to) to pick on.
           
>>  It's no secret (I think ) to most people
that I've had MS
>> for about 30 years .. I'm still walking and go out dancing
>> sometimes as well - my doc figures I'm just to stubborn to sit down
>> .. Seriously, I know a lot of people have the types of MS that
>> are much worse than the type I have :(

 JK> > I've a cousin with MS. She is doing rather well too. I was surprised
 JK> > because I thought it was one of those faster scourges.

 JK> It depends on the type, really.. some people get the worst type and
 JK> they are gone in a short time.. Some people have a type that is pretty
 JK> bad, but just stays pretty bad for a long time.. It takes a little
 JK> time to determine what type you have, really..some people have it 
 JK> like me and have the
 JK> "relapsing/remitting" type.. comes and goes.. mostly goes, which is
 JK> just fine by me .  It's not to say that there aren't days when
 JK> it's a damn pain in the butt :)

 I see.. "Type" (degree of the condition) isn't always apparent to
those who hear of it and those promoting sales for 'helping devices'.

It's like those who think hearing aids can cure all hearing loss. Don't
 get me started. :) I 'll have to go beat myself with a Fannie Flagg
book.
 ...............

>> > A survey of the echos has me see that about 95% of the fido
>> population > is male. Nice to find a fellow woman to talk to out here!
>> :)

>> Know what you mean there :)  I was really happy this week to get a new
>> user on my bbs that was a woman, and from China :)  She's a student in
>> Beijing and she's really neat to talk to.  We've been talking with her
>> in the QUESTION/ANSWER_BOX echo if you'd like to check that one out :)

 That's local yes? Sounds intersting. I Love to ask questions and get
answers. In fact my favorite tagline is :All answers questioned here.

 JK> > You can have me too! What's the telnet addy.

 JK> You can telnet to telnet://filegate.net and that should get you here
 JK> 

 Thanks...

 JK> > Do you have scrabble?

 JK> Argh.. I did have scrabble when I was running a dos based bbs years
 JK> ago.. I still have the files here offline, as well.. I'm running Linux
 JK> now and most of the door games that I _do_ have, are having problems
 JK> right now :(  I'll take a look at them this afternoon and see I I can
 JK> get them 'back in shape' .. There are scrabble games for linuxl.. I
 JK> may be able to get one of them working as an online game.. that would
 JK> be great for me too, since I always LOVED that door :)

 If you can put it up I'll send you to a bbs you can get a copy from.
The owner isn't 'putting it out' anymore. You'll want a registred
version. I'm not sure if it's 'adaptable' though. IIRC one sysop told
me it's got a key per sysop.. hmm.

You can get to a great scrabble game at  crystal_aerie.com   :)
Multiple node. It's syncronet. Just type  ;scrabble at the main prompt.

 JK> > Where are you located?

 JK> I'm in Windsor, NY, up in northern NYS.. not as northern as some
 JK>  Spring has just hit and we're in heaven here :)

 I'm originally from Elmira, NY along the southern tier. A lot of
folks here in TX think NYC is all of NYS haha. SO when I tell where I
am from to a NON NY-stater I say UPSTATE western southern NYS. :)

 JK> >I do offline messaging though. I"m one of those
 JK> > "baddies" who just goes on to play games (G).
(Sysops want so bad
 JK> for > folks to get into the local echos but you know most of the
 JK> software
 JK> > online mailers are a well... you know. (G).

 JK> hahahaha Sure, know what you mean.. you can check out the web
 JK> interface by going to this link, if you use your browser much:

 JK> http://www.filegate.net:8080/bbbs/

 I'll use telnet. Last time I tried a web bbs my firewall had a fit of
conniptions and even though I "allowed" this site, the pasword
wouldn't work so I gave up on that.

>> > Come to Coffee_Klatsch ? Some of us there are trying to cpr that
>> echo > too...  Sorry to see so many good echos going away.

>> Know what you mean - it is really sad.  And sure, I'll stop in over
>> there - somedays I don't have a lot of time, but today I'm actually
>> free a bit :) I'll mention it to my new user, as well :) Good to talk
>> to you, Cindy :)

 JK> > That's okay I don't either. It comes and goes in splotches. Time.

 JK> Yep, same here .. :)

 JK> > It used to be a very busy echo. Just dried up as people took up
 JK> > different interests or moved ; life changed etc. Trying to bring it
 JK> > back...

 JK> We lost a lot of users to the Internet as well.. I think the new
 JK> people using the Internet haven't even heard of Fidonet either.. that
 JK> doesn't help :(

 Nod and to flamers.

 TTYL, Cindy

... Disneyland: a people trap operated by a mouse.

--- PPoint 3.01