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| subject: | [WWE] [PPV] SummerSlam: Hack-Thoughts - 2003/08/24 |
Message-ID:
Here's my review of the latest outing from WWE (WrestleMania), based
on "how much money was this match worth?" At the end, I add it all
up and see if the PPV as a whole was worth the sum of its matches.
They had Rey Mysterio vs Shannon More on Heat. I would have much
rather had that on the PPV instead of either of the first two
matches.
I predicted all four McMahons would have on-screen roles during the
PPV (and probably collect fat PPV bonuses for it as well).
1. La Resistance over The Dudleys
A "cameraman" ran in when the ref wasn't looking and hit D-Von.
After the match, the cameraman was shown to be the faux marine that
joined the group on Monday.
MATCH RATING: $0.10
Eric Bischoff said he'd reveal later what happened with him and
Linda after the cameras stopped rolling last week on Raw. Both
Lawler and Ross said they didn't want to know. Eric says "sh*t" on
PPV.
RATING: $0.05
2. Undertaker over A-Train (w/Sable) in 9:00
I can't remember the last time Undertaker had a match so early on
the card. This is nine minutes they should have given to the US
Title match. Sable didn't interfere until after the match ended.
Steph came out and rolled around on the mat a bit with Sable.
MATCH RATING: $0.10
3. Shane McMahon over Eric Bischoff in 10:00
I wondered if Shane would take one if his patented insane PPV bumps,
but figured he wouldn't--since he generally only does those to help
get a wrestler over. Eric has no need to get over, as he isn't a
wrestler. Early on they went up the ramp (perhaps teasing a huge
spot off the scaffolding for Shane) but then immediately went back
to the ring. After a few minutes, Eric used a chair on Shane and
the ref called for the bell. Eric said there would be no
bell-ringing as he was changing the stips to make it a no-DQ match.
Jonathan Coachman turned heel and helped held Shane in place while
Bischoff landed a bunch of kicks. Eric had Coach call the match
from inside the ring and Coach had the production guys shut off the
power to the announce team (I applauded). Shane eventually kicked
Eric back (while still being held by Coach). Austin came down to
even the odds. Austin couldn't attack anyone unless he was
physically provoked. Coach taunted Austin that he couldn't hit him.
Shane pushed Coach from behind, causing him to fall into Austin.
Steve smiled and attacked Coach. Meanwhile, Shane had incapacitated
Eric, and dragged his limp body over to Steve, and swung Eric's hand
to hit Steve. Now Steve could stunner Eric as well. Steve called
for the announce team's power to be turned back on (boo!) and the
match continued one-on-one. Shane placed Eric on the Spanish
Announce Table, went to the top turnbuckle, and landed an elbow on
Eric for the win. Eric was bleeding from the face after the last
spot. Best match thus far by a landslide.
MATCH RATING: $2.80
4. Eddie over Rhyno, Chris Benoit, and Tajiri in 11:00
Great match. The two biggest flaws were that it should have been
three times as long and if Rhyno is going to be in the match he
needs to learn how to sell.
MATCH RATING: $5.25
5. Kurt Angle over Brock Lesnar in 22:00
Good solid match. The clean finish really helped. Vince had his
run-in with a folding chair. After the match, Kurt Angle-slammed
Vince through the chair.
MATCH RATING: $4.50
6. Kane over RVD in 13:00
RVD tried a Van Terminator, but Kane missed. Ross called the move
about 30 seconds before RVD started setting up for it. Guess he got
ahead in the script.
MATCH RATING: $1.50
Linda McMahon slapped Bischoff backstage as Bischoff was holding an
icepack against his face. At least she didn't have any speaking
part.
RATING: $0.05
7. HHH over Nash, Jericho, HBK, Goldberg, and Orton in 21:00
Goldberg fell on his ass doing he kicks on the ramp. LOL! About
what you'd expect. I was waiting for Nash to fall asleep in his
"chamber". They had the three best workers start (HBK and Jericho
started, then Orton was the first out of his chamber). There was a
big pop when HHH came out of his chamber and right into a superkick.
He spent the next few minutes inside his chamber. Someone called
Goldberg's spear through the plexiglass about ten minutes earlier.
To Goldberg's credit, immediately after the spear, he stopped a
large shard of plexiglass that was about to fall on top of Jericho.
When it got down to just HHH and Goldberg, Flair was on the outside
holding the chamber door shut (and tells the cameraman to f*ck off)
to Goldberg couldn't get to HHH. Goldberg kicked his way through
the plexiglass. HHH won after a sledgehammer shot. To HHH's
credit, he didn't hog any glory by pinning anyone else.
MATCH RATING: $2.00
Post-match Goldberg was handcuffed to the cage and all three members
of Evolution beat on him.
RATING: $0.20
- = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = -
TOTAL MATCH RATINGS: $16.25
TOTAL SKIT RATING: $0.30
TOTAL PPV RATING: $16.55
WWE price of the PPV: $3x.99. By that measure, I didn't my money's
worth.
I spent about $9.00 in gas and $2.50 on food, so by that token I
easily got my money's worth.
Worst of the three PPVs I've seen this year, but I somehow wasn't
disappointed. Weird...
Thanks to pwTorch for the match results, so I didn't have to
scribble down notes instead of enjoying the PPV. Hope you get
through all the spam real soon now!
- = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = -
For comparison, here's what I thought of the PPVs I saw in the last
couple of years:
WWF Wrestlemania 1998 1998/03/ unrated
WCW Spring Stampede 1998 1998/04/19 $24.10
WWF IYH: Unforgiven 1998 1998/04/26 $ 9.95
WCW Slamboree 1998 1998/05/17 $27.95
WCW Great American Bash 1998 1998/06/14 $28.05
WWF King of the Ring 1998 1998/06/28 $22.50
WCW Bash at the Beach 1998 1998/07/12 $17.35
ECW Heatwave 1998 1998/08/02 $24.90
WCW Road Wild 1998 1998/08/08 $29.80
WWF IYH: Fully Loaded 1998 1998/07/26 $ 6.95
WWF SummerSlam 1998 1998/08/30 $10.20
WCW Fall Brawl 1998 1998/09/13 $23.60
WWF Judgement Day 1998 1998/10/18 $25.10
WCW Halloween Havoc 1998 1998/10/25 $49.50
ECW November to Remember 1998 1998/11/01 $25.75
WWF Survivor Series 1998 1998/11/15 $21.40
WWF IYH: Rock Bottom 1999 1998/12/13 $ 8.40
ECW Guilty as Charged 1999 1999/01/10 $26.10
WCW Souled Out 1999 1999/01/17 $29.10
WWF Royal Rumble 1999 1999/01/24 $23.00
WWF St Val Day Massacre 1999 1999/02/14 $20.90
WCW SuperBrawl 1999 1999/02/21 $21.35
WCW Uncensored 1999 1999/03/14 $32.00
ECW Living Dangerously 1999 1999/03/21 $25.90
WCW Spring Stampede 1999 1999/04/11 $38.00
WCW Slamboree 1999 1999/05/09 $21.10
ECW Hardcore Heaven 1999 1999/05/09 $15.30
WWF King of the Ring 1999 1999/06/27 $13.40
WCW Bash at the Beach 1999 1999/07/11 $20.70
WWF Fully Loaded 1999 1999/07/25 $10.80
WCW Road Wild 1999 1999/08/14 $13.90
WWF SummerSlam 1999 1999/08/22 $19.05
WCW Fall Brawl 1999 1999/09/12 $12.85
ECW Ararchy Rulz 1999 1999/09/19 $32.25
WWF No Mercy 1999 1999/10/17 $13.00
WCW Halloween Havoc 1999 1999/10/24 $ 3.35
ECW November to Remember 1999 1999/11/07 $28.45
WWF Survivor Series 1999 1999/11/14 $10.95
WCW Meyhem 1999 1999/11/21 $17.75
WWF Armageddon 1999 1999/12/12 $22.05
WCW Starrcade 1999 1999/12/19 $23.65
ECW Guilty as Charged 2000/01/09 $25.70
WCW Souled Out 2000/01/16 $13.20
WWF Royal Rumble 2000/01/23 $20.00
WWF No Way Out 2000/02/27 $16.95
ECW Living Dangerously 2000/03/12 $21.80
WCW Uncensored 2000/03/19 $21.65
WWF WrestleMania 2000/04/02 $22.05
WCW Spring Stampede 2000/04/16 $23.70
WWF Backlash 2000/04/30 $25.65
WCW Slamboree 2000/05/07 $23.55
ECW Hardcore Heaven 2000/05/14 $23.05
WWF Judgment Day 2000/05/21 $11.25
WCW Great American Bash 2000/06/11 $16.55
WWF King of the Ring 2000/06/25 $ 1.40
WCW Bash at the Beach 2000/07/09 missed
ECW Heat Wave 2000/07/16 $15.50
WWF Fully Loaded 2000/07/23 $24.40
WCW New Blood Rising 2000/08/13 $31.00
WWF SummerSlam 2000/08/27 $24.90
WCW 2000/09/17 missed
WWF Unforgiven 2000/09/24 $16.65
ECW Anarchy Rulz 2000/10/01 $21.30
ECW 2000/11/ missed
WWF Survivor Series 2000/11/ missed
ECW Massacre on 34th Street 2000/12/03 $ 9.65
WWF 2000/12/ missed
ECW Guilty As Charged 2001/01/07 $15.70
WWF 2001/01/ missed
WCW Superbrawl Revenge 2001/02/18 $37.60
WCW Greed 2001/03/ missed
WWF WrestleMania 2001/04/01 $29.50
WWF 2001/05/ missed
WWF King of the Ring 2001/06/24 $16.55
WWF Invasion 2001/07/22 $15.25
WWF SummerSlam 2001/08/ missed
WWF 2001/09/ missed
WWF 2001/10/ missed
WWF Survivor Series 2001/11/18 $11.25
WWF Royal Rumble 2002/01/20 $14.15
WWF No Way Out 2002/02/17 $ 3.40
WWF WrestleMania 2002/03/17 $25.30/$36.40
WWF King of the Ring 2002/06/23 $ 6.55/$10.15
NWA TNA 2002/08/14 $11.60/$12.20
WWF SummerSlam 2002/08/25 $21.10/$21.10
WWF Unforgiven 2002/09/22 $17.50/$21.15
WWF No Mercy 2002/10/20 $16.85/$20.00
WWF Survivor Series 2002/11/17 $ 7.50/$ 9.20
WWF Royal Rumble 2003/01/19 $19.55/$19.55
WWF WrestleMania XIX 2003/03/30 $22.55/$23.45
WWE SummerSlam 2003/08/24 $16.25/$16.55
SPAMguard: add a dash between "Hack" and "Man"
to send me email
--
RSPW's most long-lasting poster
Voted "Most On-Topic Poster" in the 2002 RSPW Poster Awards
rspw{at}HackMan.com Video/C/Unix geek http://Hack-Man.com/Wrestling
--- Internet Rex 2.29
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