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echo: nhb
to: All
from: Hack-Man
date: 2003-08-25 06:45:02
subject: [WWE] [PPV] SummerSlam: Hack-Thoughts - 2003/08/24

Message-ID: 

Here's my review of the latest outing from WWE (WrestleMania), based
on "how much money was this match worth?"  At the end, I add it all
up and see if the PPV as a whole was worth the sum of its matches.

They had Rey Mysterio vs Shannon More on Heat.  I would have much
rather had that on the PPV instead of either of the first two
matches.

I predicted all four McMahons would have on-screen roles during the
PPV (and probably collect fat PPV bonuses for it as well).

1.  La Resistance over The Dudleys

A "cameraman" ran in when the ref wasn't looking and hit D-Von.
After the match, the cameraman was shown to be the faux marine that
joined the group on Monday.

MATCH RATING: $0.10

Eric Bischoff said he'd reveal later what happened with him and
Linda after the cameras stopped rolling last week on Raw.  Both
Lawler and Ross said they didn't want to know.  Eric says "sh*t" on
PPV.

RATING: $0.05


2.  Undertaker over A-Train (w/Sable) in 9:00

I can't remember the last time Undertaker had a match so early on
the card.  This is nine minutes they should have given to the US
Title match.  Sable didn't interfere until after the match ended.
Steph came out and rolled around on the mat a bit with Sable.

MATCH RATING: $0.10


3.  Shane McMahon over Eric Bischoff in 10:00

I wondered if Shane would take one if his patented insane PPV bumps,
but figured he wouldn't--since he generally only does those to help
get a wrestler over.  Eric has no need to get over, as he isn't a
wrestler.  Early on they went up the ramp (perhaps teasing a huge
spot off the scaffolding for Shane) but then immediately went back
to the ring.  After a few minutes, Eric used a chair on Shane and
the ref called for the bell.  Eric said there would be no
bell-ringing as he was changing the stips to make it a no-DQ match.
Jonathan Coachman turned heel and helped held Shane in place while
Bischoff landed a bunch of kicks.  Eric had Coach call the match
from inside the ring and Coach had the production guys shut off the
power to the announce team (I applauded).  Shane eventually kicked
Eric back (while still being held by Coach).  Austin came down to
even the odds.  Austin couldn't attack anyone unless he was
physically provoked.  Coach taunted Austin that he couldn't hit him.
Shane pushed Coach from behind, causing him to fall into Austin.
Steve smiled and attacked Coach.  Meanwhile, Shane had incapacitated
Eric, and dragged his limp body over to Steve, and swung Eric's hand
to hit Steve.  Now Steve could stunner Eric as well.  Steve called
for the announce team's power to be turned back on (boo!) and the
match continued one-on-one.  Shane placed Eric on the Spanish
Announce Table, went to the top turnbuckle, and landed an elbow on
Eric for the win.  Eric was bleeding from the face after the last
spot.  Best match thus far by a landslide.

MATCH RATING: $2.80


4.  Eddie over Rhyno, Chris Benoit, and Tajiri in 11:00 

Great match.  The two biggest flaws were that it should have been
three times as long and if Rhyno is going to be in the match he
needs to learn how to sell.

MATCH RATING: $5.25


5.  Kurt Angle over Brock Lesnar in 22:00 

Good solid match.  The clean finish really helped.  Vince had his
run-in with a folding chair.  After the match, Kurt Angle-slammed
Vince through the chair.

MATCH RATING: $4.50


6.  Kane over RVD in 13:00 

RVD tried a Van Terminator, but Kane missed.  Ross called the move
about 30 seconds before RVD started setting up for it.  Guess he got
ahead in the script.

MATCH RATING: $1.50

Linda McMahon slapped Bischoff backstage as Bischoff was holding an
icepack against his face.  At least she didn't have any speaking
part.

RATING: $0.05


7.  HHH over Nash, Jericho, HBK, Goldberg, and Orton in 21:00

Goldberg fell on his ass doing he kicks on the ramp.  LOL!  About
what you'd expect.  I was waiting for Nash to fall asleep in his
"chamber".  They had the three best workers start (HBK and Jericho
started, then Orton was the first out of his chamber).  There was a
big pop when HHH came out of his chamber and right into a superkick.
He spent the next few minutes inside his chamber.  Someone called
Goldberg's spear through the plexiglass about ten minutes earlier.
To Goldberg's credit, immediately after the spear, he stopped a
large shard of plexiglass that was about to fall on top of Jericho.
When it got down to just HHH and Goldberg, Flair was on the outside
holding the chamber door shut (and tells the cameraman to f*ck off)
to Goldberg couldn't get to HHH.  Goldberg kicked his way through
the plexiglass.  HHH won after a sledgehammer shot.  To HHH's
credit, he didn't hog any glory by pinning anyone else.

MATCH RATING: $2.00

Post-match Goldberg was handcuffed to the cage and all three members
of Evolution beat on him.

RATING: $0.20

- = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = -

TOTAL MATCH RATINGS: $16.25

TOTAL SKIT RATING: $0.30

TOTAL PPV RATING: $16.55

WWE price of the PPV: $3x.99.  By that measure, I didn't my money's
worth.

I spent about $9.00 in gas and $2.50 on food, so by that token I
easily got my money's worth.

Worst of the three PPVs I've seen this year, but I somehow wasn't
disappointed.  Weird...

Thanks to pwTorch for the match results, so I didn't have to
scribble down notes instead of enjoying the PPV.  Hope you get
through all the spam real soon now!

- = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = -

For comparison, here's what I thought of the PPVs I saw in the last
couple of years:

WWF Wrestlemania 1998         1998/03/   unrated
WCW Spring Stampede 1998      1998/04/19 $24.10
WWF IYH: Unforgiven 1998      1998/04/26 $ 9.95
WCW Slamboree 1998            1998/05/17 $27.95
WCW Great American Bash 1998  1998/06/14 $28.05
WWF King of the Ring 1998     1998/06/28 $22.50
WCW Bash at the Beach 1998    1998/07/12 $17.35
ECW Heatwave 1998             1998/08/02 $24.90
WCW Road Wild 1998            1998/08/08 $29.80
WWF IYH: Fully Loaded 1998    1998/07/26 $ 6.95
WWF SummerSlam 1998           1998/08/30 $10.20
WCW Fall Brawl 1998           1998/09/13 $23.60
WWF Judgement Day 1998        1998/10/18 $25.10
WCW Halloween Havoc 1998      1998/10/25 $49.50
ECW November to Remember 1998 1998/11/01 $25.75
WWF Survivor Series 1998      1998/11/15 $21.40
WWF IYH: Rock Bottom 1999     1998/12/13 $ 8.40
ECW Guilty as Charged 1999    1999/01/10 $26.10
WCW Souled Out 1999           1999/01/17 $29.10
WWF Royal Rumble 1999         1999/01/24 $23.00
WWF St Val Day Massacre 1999  1999/02/14 $20.90
WCW SuperBrawl 1999           1999/02/21 $21.35
WCW Uncensored 1999           1999/03/14 $32.00
ECW Living Dangerously 1999   1999/03/21 $25.90
WCW Spring Stampede 1999      1999/04/11 $38.00
WCW Slamboree 1999            1999/05/09 $21.10
ECW Hardcore Heaven 1999      1999/05/09 $15.30
WWF King of the Ring 1999     1999/06/27 $13.40
WCW Bash at the Beach 1999    1999/07/11 $20.70
WWF Fully Loaded 1999         1999/07/25 $10.80
WCW Road Wild 1999            1999/08/14 $13.90
WWF SummerSlam 1999           1999/08/22 $19.05
WCW Fall Brawl 1999           1999/09/12 $12.85
ECW Ararchy Rulz 1999         1999/09/19 $32.25
WWF No Mercy 1999             1999/10/17 $13.00
WCW Halloween Havoc 1999      1999/10/24 $ 3.35
ECW November to Remember 1999 1999/11/07 $28.45
WWF Survivor Series 1999      1999/11/14 $10.95
WCW Meyhem 1999               1999/11/21 $17.75
WWF Armageddon 1999           1999/12/12 $22.05
WCW Starrcade 1999            1999/12/19 $23.65
ECW Guilty as Charged         2000/01/09 $25.70
WCW Souled Out                2000/01/16 $13.20
WWF Royal Rumble              2000/01/23 $20.00
WWF No Way Out                2000/02/27 $16.95
ECW Living Dangerously        2000/03/12 $21.80
WCW Uncensored                2000/03/19 $21.65
WWF WrestleMania              2000/04/02 $22.05
WCW Spring Stampede           2000/04/16 $23.70
WWF Backlash                  2000/04/30 $25.65
WCW Slamboree                 2000/05/07 $23.55
ECW Hardcore Heaven           2000/05/14 $23.05
WWF Judgment Day              2000/05/21 $11.25
WCW Great American Bash       2000/06/11 $16.55
WWF King of the Ring          2000/06/25 $ 1.40
WCW Bash at the Beach         2000/07/09 missed
ECW Heat Wave                 2000/07/16 $15.50
WWF Fully Loaded              2000/07/23 $24.40
WCW New Blood Rising          2000/08/13 $31.00
WWF SummerSlam                2000/08/27 $24.90
WCW                           2000/09/17 missed
WWF Unforgiven                2000/09/24 $16.65
ECW Anarchy Rulz              2000/10/01 $21.30
ECW                           2000/11/   missed
WWF Survivor Series           2000/11/   missed
ECW Massacre on 34th Street   2000/12/03 $ 9.65
WWF                           2000/12/   missed
ECW Guilty As Charged         2001/01/07 $15.70
WWF                           2001/01/   missed
WCW Superbrawl Revenge        2001/02/18 $37.60
WCW Greed                     2001/03/   missed
WWF WrestleMania              2001/04/01 $29.50
WWF                           2001/05/   missed
WWF King of the Ring          2001/06/24 $16.55
WWF Invasion                  2001/07/22 $15.25
WWF SummerSlam                2001/08/   missed
WWF                           2001/09/   missed
WWF                           2001/10/   missed
WWF Survivor Series           2001/11/18 $11.25
WWF Royal Rumble              2002/01/20 $14.15
WWF No Way Out                2002/02/17 $ 3.40
WWF WrestleMania              2002/03/17 $25.30/$36.40
WWF King of the Ring          2002/06/23 $ 6.55/$10.15
NWA TNA                       2002/08/14 $11.60/$12.20
WWF SummerSlam                2002/08/25 $21.10/$21.10
WWF Unforgiven                2002/09/22 $17.50/$21.15
WWF No Mercy                  2002/10/20 $16.85/$20.00
WWF Survivor Series           2002/11/17 $ 7.50/$ 9.20
WWF Royal Rumble              2003/01/19 $19.55/$19.55
WWF WrestleMania XIX          2003/03/30 $22.55/$23.45
WWE SummerSlam                2003/08/24 $16.25/$16.55

         SPAMguard: add a dash between "Hack" and "Man"
to send me email
-- 
                    RSPW's most long-lasting poster
      Voted "Most On-Topic Poster" in the 2002 RSPW Poster Awards
rspw{at}HackMan.com    Video/C/Unix geek      http://Hack-Man.com/Wrestling


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