Hi, Daryl!  Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

DS>  Sorry I didn't reply sooner.


          Not to worry... people often write at erratic intervals in this
echo, depending on their own state of health (or whatever).  The volume of
mail tends to drop off around Christmas too because it's a busy time for
many people.  :-)



DS>  He is home now, but hasn't had many "good days" since
DS>  they discovered the cancer.


          Well... if it's anything like Nora's treatment for leukemia, the
cure may seem worse than the disease at first!  The doctors use some very
heavy duty stuff to get folks into remission, but the protocol is easier
later on....  :-)



DS>  The thing is, he has been almost constantly in a state
DS>  of nausea...even though he has medicine for it.


          That's not unusual.  While Nora was in treatment I carried a bag
with spare clothing for the whole family wherever we went.  If he's feeling
brave he might try doing without the anti-nausea medicine, however.  When
Nora was given Gravol for the same purpose it didn't seem to help much. 
Then I found out that one of the side effects of Gravol is (guess what??)
nausea & vomiting.  We quit using Gravol, and she didn't throw up any
more or less often as result....  ;-)



DS>  my brother and his fiance' aren't as squeamish as I am
DS>  (he hunts and cleans his own deer, etc., and she has
DS>  nursing experience).


          Ah... I think one's prior experience does play a part here!  I
had to suppress my gag reflex on many occasions when Nora threw up or had a
smelly BM. But when I was alone with her & my husband was going to be
at work for the next eight hours, I didn't have anybody else available to
do the cleanup.  I doubt a nurse who expects others to do it would be
popular with her colleagues....  :-/



DS>  I have not seen my Dad since he left to go into the
DS>  hospital, but have talked to him a few times. He is
DS>  still obviously depressed, as noted earlier.


          So you're supporting him as best you can... that's good.  I trust
you will continue to talk to him on the phone or whatever, as you've been
doing.  I imagine the treatment is taking a lot out of him & he may
seem depressed at the present time.  But as an oncology parent, I must also
inform you that it's very hard on the patient when other folks keep their
distance physically.  Cancer is not a communicable disease with which one
must be quarantined for the safety of the population at large. 
Intellectually most people realize that.  Emotionally they're unconvinced,
however, and they keep making excuses for not stopping by. Or the patient
feels s/he has to support them because they're so upset....  :-(



DS>  So, if these "professionals" have trouble, what does
DS>  that say for me??


          It tells me that such instinctive reactions are probably normal. 
But many people can & do override them when they have good reason to do
so....  :-)



DS>  That's an issue of "survival" unto itself.


          Yes.  The older, more primitive part of the brain tells us to get
rid of our stomach contents in case somebody put the wrong kind of
mushrooms in the communal pot... and to avoid people who may have a
contagious illness for which there is no known cure.  I was amazed at my
fanatical devotion to Nora when she was ill, but Dallas & I both
recognized that we instinctively attached a higher priority to the survival
of the species than to our own personal survival.  She might not be alive
today if we hadn't done that.  In more modern times, we have the ability to
analyze our instincts & decide whether they're still productive. JFTR,
though, I've never said I found it particularly easy to do that....  :-))




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+