A Southerner's comical (?) point of view.

Off the Leash
By George Bowser

I have just returned from Yukon. They say there is magnificent mountain
scenery all over the place. However, I cannot confirm this because I was
there at night. "Night" in that part of the world is November through
March.

Also, I was disgusted to find out that Yukon Gold is, in fact, a potato.
In Acapulco they play a similar trick on visitors, but by the time they
find out that Acapulco Gold is not a yellow precious metal, they don't
really care.

Interest in the Federal election in Whitehorse was at an all-time high,
i.e. they had heard about it. If you have political opinions in a small
town like Whitehorse, you keep them to yourself, or risk acquiring the
reputation of being a windbag and an ass. That is to say, a politician.
People were talking about the weather. Apparently it was unusually
warm_a balmy minus 12_and there was a danger of a snow shortage, which
will affect the dog sled race from Yellowknife to Whitehorse.

Dog sledding is a very Canadian thing to do. I have never done it. It
may be on the list of things that no gentleman should try at least once.
(That list, as it now stands, is limited to two things: country dancing
and incest.) My acquaintance with dog-sledding is limited to seeing the
tourist version at Chateau Montebello. My companions and I enjoyed
seeing the teams assemble and depart with their passengers, but we were
taken aback by the sight of what must have been the remains of the dogs'
dinner lying on the snow nearby. It was a beaver tail. Not the doughy,
sugared kind you can buy as a tasty snack at Westmount Winter Carnival,
but the real thing, sans owner. I cherish the forlorn hope that
somewhere in the Montebello woods, there is one very angry, tail-less
beaver, but I doubt it.

In any case, the outdoor lifestyle thing appears to be limited to the
warmer months. There weren't many people outdoors in January. A popular
item seemed to be the remote car starter. Empty cars would suddenly
spring to life as you walked by them, which can be a little startling.

I asked our host what draws people to Whitehorse, and he told me
"lifestyle, mostly. They like the outdoor lifestyle - hiking, canoeing,
etc." He added, inexplicably, "there's a lot of lesbians
here." I didn't
see the connection, unless of course they misunderstood the word
"Klondike."

There were originally rapids near Whitehorse, and the foaming water
reminded an early visitor of the manes of white horses. Thus the
settlement changed its name from what the locals called it: "No
Swimming." Subsequently, the water was harnessed to provide electric
power, and the rapids are no longer there. A bid to change the city's
name to "Dam" was quashed.

George Bowser is one half of the musical comedy duo Bowser & Blue.

http://www.westmountexaminer.com

Cheers

Jim, in Yellowknife


___ Blue Wave/386 v2.30 [NR]
--- Platinum Xpress/Win/WINServer v3.0pr5