AH>Hi, Daryl!  Recently you wrote in a message to ALL:

Hi, Ardith...

AH>DS>  I wanted to let everyone know that after 5 1/2 months
AH>DS>  of waiting, I finally got what I had been praying for
AH>DS>  ...a FULLY FAVORABLE ruling in my claim for disability
AH>DS>  from the Social Security Administration.

AH>          Glad to hear it!  Thanks for the update....  :-)

  I got a call from them today to inquire on information for where the
benefits will go. I PREFER Direct Deposit, as there's less chance for
the check to get lost in the mail.

AH>          Seems to me these things are never easy.  The benefits may be
AH>referred to as "social security", but they're not quite as
secure as others
AH>imagine.  :-Q

  One individuals sister-in-law had applied for it, and there were
"numerous bureaucratic delays", as he put it. They finally granted
it...unfortunately, it was 40 days after her death. :(

AH>          Now there's the mixed blessing, IMHO... it's precisely because of
AH>such factors that you cannot realistically be expected to hold down a job.

  At the administrative law judge hearing, I asked "Would you, as an
employer, hire someone who:

* is constantly in the bathroom vomiting or with diarrhea, or both

* is constantly asleep at their desk from pain mediciation for migraine
headache and/or abdominal pain

* can't remember what was said to them 15 seconds ago"??

  Everyone I've asked has said "No"...my reply "I rest my
case". The
combination of a severe concussion, and 2 indirect lightning strikes (I
still got the severe shock) over the years have really affected my
memory.

AH>          So you were friends first & you both took your time
about deciding
AH>you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together.  It worked for
Dallas &
AH>me!  We have had people question this... but I note with interest that none 
AH>them were still married to the same person they started with at the time the
AH>asked.  :-))

  We've had our disagreements over the years, but have never had "a big
quarrel". My Dad always wants to know if we've had our first big
fight...we reply "if you want ringside seats, it'll cost you big time!!"
:>

  Sadly, I've heard cases of people who got married:

* On Dec. 31, then got divorced the first workday afterwards...to show
that they were married at the end of a year for a tax break

* On Friday, then were in divorce court the following Monday.

AH>DS>  On our 40 month anniversary, Sep. 18, the favorable
AH>DS>  ruling was issued.

AH>          A good omen, maybe.  Hold that thought....  :-)

  Really.

AH>          I see a number of possible interpretations here.  What really
AH>matters, though, is that while you're both quite competitive she doesn't min
AH>being #2 as long as you don't brag about it too much... and because you are 
AH>the same wave length you realize what she's probably going to say before she
AH>says it.  I don't believe she is withholding sex to control or punish you, i
AH>view of other things you've said about her.  I imagine she's communicating, 
AH>the use of irony, that she needs to feel good about herself in order to be
AH>responsive.  IMHO a sense of humour can also go a long way in the discussion
AH>of such delicate issues....  ;-)

  She told me that "she would never use sex as a weapon", and
"she would
not make me give up anything that made me happy". She knows I've made
numerous sacrifices over the years, and we've botj known people who are
so "possessively jealous" over their spouse...that's selfishness, IMO.

Daryl

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