On (26 Oct 96) Joan Rea wrote to Harriet Levy...
 JR> No, silly coffee aren't square.  PiRsquared - coffee are round.  No,
 JR> *cake* are square, pie are round, dang you got me all confused and
 JR> just when I was trying to convince my grandson that Gram hadn't
 JR> forgotten *all* her high school geometry!
It's very confusing. I've been trying to figure all this out....but I wasn't
very good in geometry   ;-)
 JR> Seriously, I was very sorry to hear of your mother's poor health
 JR> coming so soon after your losses.  My sponsor used to tell me that God
 JR> makes our crosses to fit and makes damned few heroes.  Sometimes, I
 JR> think that God thinks I'm tougher than I am and sends too much at once
 JR> but, I seem to survive and, as Dusty O'yefsky that great Irishman who
 JR> moved to Russia said." What doesn't kill me strengthens me. "    My
It's an interesting time.  Not having christian upbringing, I have trouble
with the image of a "cross to fit"...but then, again, I do undertand what
you're saying.  
Frankly, I think the only thing that has kept me going, is that I've turned
all this over to my higher power, as I understand Her.  I know that my mom
is going to make the decisions she's going to make.  She's an adult, is
mentally competent, and it *is* her body and her life.
Funny, but was the friend who just died that taught me that.  If he hadn't
been so militant about making his own decisions about his health care, I
wouldn't have learned that my mom has the same right.
OTOH, my sister, who has not learned this lesson, is bouncing off the walls,
trying to get my mom to do what SHE wants her to do.
 JR> heart is with you in this time of stress. 
 
 Thank you.  Regardless of the peace and serenity I have found by turning
 this over, it is still soooo very tiring.
 
  My mother has Altzheimers
 JR> and has thought I was her mother for 15 years - whenever she has a
I'm sorry.  Alzheimer's is a dreadful disease.  
 JR> better.  When my sister died of an alcoholic brain aneurism at 55, my
 JR> mother just lost it and retreated into her disease.  Whenever she sees
 JR> me, her guilt makes her angry.  Boy can I identify with that and the
 JR> medical staff is really impressed with my Alma Mater ( U of Waterloo
 JR> in Ontario, Canada).  I tell them that I learned about all that in AA
 JR> but, they smile wisely and just know that I learned about life second
 JR> hand at school.
Guilt is an interesting emotion, isn't it?  I know a lot of my sister's
insanity is being caused by guilt.  
 JR> Well, I caromed right off into left field didn't I? Must be October,
 JR> been reading here that strange stuff happens in October.
 Yes, it does.  But it's good for both of us to be able to talk about
 this stuff.
 JR> Hope you mother is better and that God is giving you the strength and
 JR> friends to help you through this tough time.  Regards, Joan Rea
We're hanging in...
Thanks for the wishes,
Harriet
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