Message-ID: 

The Rap Sheet - from the Crimefighter
Rampage Championship Wrestling
8/9/2K3, Carlinville, IL

This rap sheet is posted in news:rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info a newsgroup
that many wrestling organizations could utilize to spread info about their
shows but don't, and the archive of all the ones I've written are stored in
http://abermud.tripod.com/rapsheet.

I happen to find out about this show literally days before it was to go
down, only because a couple of our New Midwest guys were performing on it.
RCW is based out of the St. Louis area, and alas I don't know much about
them.  It turns out that there are multiple indy groups named Rampage
Championship Wrestling in different states though that have no relation to
each other.  But there are a couple things that I learned about them before
the show went down.  First off, about two months ago there was a MAJOR
blowup with the roster, as about half of them decided for one reason or
another, creative differences, they wanted to run the show themselves, or
ego, take your pick, quit the promotion all at once.  Don't know who all was
involved with the mass resigning as I'm not at all familiar with anyone on
the roster.  The other bit of news is that Dangerous Derek Davis who was one
half of the tag champions Brutality Inc. has cancer and some RL issues to
deal with, and has hinted that tonight's match may be his last for a long
time.

Today was spent running around the IL State Fair, where I forgot to put on
sunscreen before going and now my neck is burned.  Bad headache before I
left to go home, chow, get a new desk chair then hightail it to Carlinville
getting there just before the show started.  As a result I got into a bit of
a flippant mood.  At the fair, appearing at an autograph session for the IWF
who's performing the next day were Deputy Dog (JYD's son), Ronnie Vegas, The
Bouncer, Hillbilly Jed, and former WCW ref Johnny Aramoni.  In attendance
from NMW but not taking part, referee James Welden, along with family of
Ramsey and a couple other of us frequent NMW fans.  Attendance looked to be
barely 100 or so.  The show took place in a barn, with the ring set up next
to the double doors and the crowd mostly on one side of the ring with a two
rows of chairs on two other sides.  NO moves were done off the top rope the
whole night, it looked like the ceiling beams weren't too low, but they
stayed off of there.

Your host and promoter is Frank Reid, he announces that there was supposed
to be a wrestling bear tonight but he was sick and couldn't come.  Doink the
Clown (whichever one it was playing Doink) was scheduled to appear as well
and NO SHOWED.  At the commentary table, is someone named the Colonel, and
Bill Glinton as a Clinton impersonator.  Frank's son is in the ring climbing
the ring ropes...dangerous.

Sean Chadwick ???lbs. San Diego, CA w/ Billy Keides vs. Cade Sydal 150lbs.
St. Louis, MO -- Your referee is Josh Andrews.  Chadwick wears white tiger
stripe tights, Keides wears a red t-shirt numbered 937.  Sydal wears white
pants with blue flames and is blonde.  He also is back from a broken arm
injury.  Sydel with a superkick gets two.  Armbreaker by Sydal, submission
hold applied.  Whip reversed, flapjack Chadwick drops him right on his head
in a scary bump!  Chadwick with a legdrop gets two.  Slug away, drop kick
off a whip gets two.  Chadwick kicks away as live commentary is being done
by Glinton, Frank and the Colonel.  Turnbuckle smash by Chadwick, whip to
the corner and a splash by Sean.  Chadwick to the 2nd rope, elbow gets two.
Frank announces five minutes has passed, I shout THREE!  Frank then says
someone needs to help me keep time.  *smirk*  Yeah definitely.  Frank can't
tell my voice is male and mixes me up with the women in front of me.
LADY?!?  Hey, I can't help it if I got a high-pitched voice when I shout.  I
don't take voice lessons.  Chadwick is down, Sydal with a legdrop, stomp,
wristlock, Chadwick rolls him up for two.  Chadwick with a rake, kick, choke
on the ropes, Chadwick sits on him, Sydal falls back with his knees folded
over.  Pumphandle slam Chadwick gets two.  Irish whip DDT Sydal gets two.
These guys are moving in slow motion, but Sydal says he was completely out
on his feet from that bad bump from earlier.  Whip reversed, Chadwick
crotches Sydal on the ropes.  Widow's Peak Chadwick gets two as Sydal gets a
foot on the rope!  Frank didn't know the name of this move.  Chadwick Irish
whip, kick to the back by Sydal, shining wizard KO's Chadwick for three!
Match was slow with some blown spots, due maybe to the bump.

WINNER:  Cade Sydal pin -> (4-9) 7:45 mins. ¾*

Sydal had his whole match history on his site, so I just counted them up,
missing the July show results though.

Mat Maniac, some longhaired loudmouth comes to the ring with his new man,
Ravishing Rick Flash.  Oh geez, we got a cross between Rick Rude and Ric
Flair or something.  Flash is well, a pretty-boy type wearing long black
tights.  Maniac makes a reference to that idiot who's been raping and
strangling horses for us to have a good time.  We take no responsibility for
that horse rapist.  Frank Reid laughs and scoffs at the name of this kid.
The Pac-man start game sound effect plays along with Weird Science, and out
comes this kid wearing a dress shirt, red bow tie, slacks, big glasses, and
a pen holder--a NERD!  You call that wrestling attire?  He says he's tired
of being called a nerd, well dress like a wrestler next time!  He's smart,
it's gonna be different.  Rick Flash calls him a flat turd waiting to be
flushed.  Frank Reid fines him $250 on the spot for cursing on a family
show.  Uhh...can't believe he's fined for saying THAT?

Ravishing Rick Flash ???lbs. Troy, IL w/ Mat Maniac vs. Dexter Poindexter
172lbs. Silicon Valley, CA -- Dexter had a lengthy match history list, but
stops at February.  Flash with an eyepoke, Irish whip, clothesline, armbar,
Poindexter with a rollup for two.  Clothesline Flash, leg drop gets two.
Slugaway Flash, whip to the corner, splash misses, Poindexter with the
sharpshooter but Flash makes the ropes.  Poindexter applies a sleeper,
shoulder block Flash, Maniac chokes Dexter on the ropes, LOW BLOW Flash,
poke to the eyes by Dexter, another sleeper applied, rollup gets two, Flash
KICK WHAM STUNNER gets two.  Dexter with another rollup gets three.  AWFUL
MATCH, blown spots and sloppiness all over the place.  What the heck was
that?  Flash being a sore loser clotheslines and beats down Poindexter.

WINNER:  Dexter Poindexter pin -> 4:15 mins. DUD

Interview with Shawn Dustry, Shawn says Doug O'Shea is gonna bleed in the
cage.  The winner gets the #1 contendership to the RCW title against Matt
Taylor.  Shawn isn't scared of the cage, never been in a cage match.
Douglas O'Shea comes out, waving an Ireland flag.  The "Irish Bomb" he
claims to be.  O'Shea screams he's gonna kick his butt.  Dustry with a
spear, slugaway on the mat.  Referees come in, Derek Davis and Bret Dustry
break it up.  O'Shea gets outside and keeps yelling at Dustry, I finally
start a USA chant to piss him off.

"The Unstable" - Kris Synz 240lbs. New Orleans, LA & Mr.
Haunt ???lbs. Parts
Unknown w/ Mat Maniac vs. Bret Dustry ???lbs. Macoupin County, IL &
Dangerous Derek Davis 250lbs. Detroit, MI -- The Hamster Dance tune plays,
yeek.  Synz wears a red shirt that says Synz on it, and Haunt is in black.
This may be Davis's final match.  Michael Shard's music plays, is Shard
Dustry's partner?  Nope it's DDD's music.  Brawl to start the match, Davis
with a clothesline on Synz that gets two.  Maniac screams for a fine against
someone's manager.  Eric Parker is the referee.  Slam by Davis on Synz,
legdrop gets two.  Synz puts a chokehold on Davis.  Mat Moron misspeak by
Frank.  Whip clothesline by Synz in the corner.  Ties up the legs for a
submission hold Synz, tries for a half crab but tags in Haunt.  They hold
the legs to make a wish, and do the splits with him, ouch.  Double-arm DDT
Haunt gets two.  Davis kicks away, then hits a superkick.  Tag Bret.  Double
suplex gets two.  Bret slugs away, Irish whip clothesline in the corner,
legdrop.  Whip reversed reverse elbow by Haunt.  LOW BLOW HAUNT!  Chicken
wing applied by Synz, outside there's a fight as Davis and Haunt tango into
the rail and post.  Bret escapes the chicken wing, suplex miscalled by Frank
as a "snap mare" that gets two.  Irish whip clothesline Bret.  Tag Davis.
Punch from the top rope, Synz chokes back, kicks him on the ropes.  DDT Synz
gets two.  Davis kicks him on the chin, chops him on the mat, punches away,
headbutt to the belly, Death Valley Driver, Bret tags himself in, hops on
the middle rope and splashes him for three!  That's better.

WINNERS:  Bret Dustry & Dangerous Derek Davis pin -> 8:15 mins. **½

Oops, Derek Davis appears to be unhappy as he wanted to finish it himself,
he's screaming "I had him!!!"  I shout "YOU WON!  A win is a
win!"  He
leaves in a huff.  Synz claims he broke his wrist at the start of the match
somehow.  And we go to intermission for ten minutes.  During the break Doug
O'Shea was screaming and yelling at Shawn Dustry who was out there with
brother Bret, Davis and Sydal.  Angles during the intermission?

Interview segment with RCW Heavyweight Champion Matt Taylor.  Taylor
reportedly became champion via the infamous "Rio De Janeiro phantom title
change".  You see, when you have to have a title change hands but can't hold
a match and tape it as evidence, they say it happened in Rio De Janeiro,
Brazil.  Example, when Lenny Lane was WCW Cruiserweight champ and that
extremist wacko gay activist group known as GLAAD were screaming for his
banishment cause he was offensive to gays, Lenny Lane "lost" his belt to
Psicosis in "Rio De Janeiro" in a match that never happened.  So there you
go.  Taylor isn't a popular fellow it seems.  He's called "Shady"
due to his
Eminem music.  Taylor says we need to understand something about me, he won
the Jr. Heavyweight title, five tag titles, and he's the new heavyweight
champ so stand up and applaud.  He says Doink was supposed to be here but
didn't show, Matt's here.  Matt gets to the cage match, and says Dustry's
never beat a Taylor.  Tells all the roster that your man is the man now.  He
was the president before, there's no one better than George W. Bush next to
him.  Tells the crowd to cheer him all at once, so the crowd boos him.
Taylor says you may boo me, but your women adore me.  Whatever Matt.  That
title belt looks like the WCW US Title.

Sage Ramsey 268lbs. Peoria, IL vs. Eric Logan 173lbs. Palm Beach, FL -- 
Logan is fresh off of winning the Alexis Homeier Memorial Tournament, Ramsey
is fresh off of losing his NMW tag titles to the Cult of RON.  This match
does not count in the NMW standings, but it counts in the RCW records.  Sage
Ramsey comes out to completely different music that doesn't seem to fit him,
"I Wanna Get Psycho".  Logan still has his music for this match.  Handshake
to start, this is a rare face vs. face match.  Lockup to the corner, clean
breaks.  Logan misses a drop kick, clotheslines don't effect Sage, a bulldog
takes Sage down.  Rolling thunder by Logan only gets ONE.  Logan kicks away
in the corner, Irish whip reversed, drop toe hold into the ropes, 619 Logan,
shining wizard gets two.  Logan attempts a crossbody but is caught and
powerbombed.  Headbutt Sage, backbreaker, a second, and a side slam gets
two.  Sage with a bodyslam, legdrop gets two.  Slam, elbowdrop, leg drop
gets two.  Sage headbutt, whip to the corner, splash, camel clutch Logan
does not submit.  Irish whip clothesline misses, spinning heel kick Logan.
Northern Lights suplex Logan gets two.  Whip reverse flying headscissors
Logan gets two.  Another one is blocked into a big side slam by Sage for
two.  Sage with a chokeslam gets two.  Another one is tripped up, Logan with
a suplex and legdrop gets two.  Whip reverse, Logan eats a superkick for
two.  Sage misses a splash in the corner, flying neckbreaker by Logan gets
two.  Another whip, Sage catches Logan into the FINAL FALL!  IT'S ALL
OVER!!!  (Final Fall basically picking up the victim, hold them across your
back not the shoulders and slam them ala the DVD).  Match of the night, puts
the rest of the roster to shame.  I went ***, another attendee put it ***½
so I'm gonna split the difference and call it...

WINNER:  Sage Ramsey pin -> 9 mins. ***¼

Frank Reid gives props to NMW.  He wants him to come back on 9/20 and
whoever wins the cage match gets the title shot, he wants to make him a
heavyweight champ and gives him a title shot also.  I'll have to commentate
the next match on the fly.

Battle Royal
We have, Sean Chadwick, Billy Keides, Kris Synz, Mr. Haunt, Dexter
Poindexter, Bret Dustry, Dangerous Derek Davis, Sage Ramsey, Eric Logan, and
Steve Montana for a total of ten in the ring.  Mat Maniac is out to support
his guys, a blonde woman named "Faith" is out there to support Montana.
Reid doesn't want to risk Ramsey getting hurt in there, but Sage wants to go
anyway.  Steve Montana is making his return after a several year absence.
Everyone's slugging away at each other.  Chadwick stomps on Poindexter.
Logan after Haunt.  Sage joins him.  Montana hits Logan, nearly knocking him
out cold.  Synz goes after Keides.  Logan after Davis.  Poindexter in the
corner.  Davis chops Logan.  Haunt's in trouble.  Dexter crawls under
Keides.  Sage stares at Haunt.  Sage and Logan start fighting each other.
Synz gives Chadwick a wedgie, but Synz gets tossed out first.  Logan was
tossed by Ramsey.  Billy Keides just got eliminated.  Montana with a slam,
Sage gets tossed by Davis.  Sean Chadwick gets tossed.  Dustry clotheslines
someone.  Davis tries to toss Haunt but fails.  Bret Sundry eliminated
Haunt.  Irish whip Montana on Dexter and drops him on his side.  Davis and
Bret toss Dexter over.  Matt Taylor is commentating.  Montana goes after
Bret, Davis attacks Bret.  That little kid tries to get in the ring again.
Davis tosses Dustry out.  Irish whip Montana, screws up a spinebuster.
Yeah, Montana must not have wrestled in years.  Montana with an armbar, kick
away, Irish whip, elbow to the head of Davis.  Taylor doesn't want the
cameras on the match he wants the camera on him.  I'm not interested in
talking heads thank you.  Montana throws Davis over the top rope to win it.
Davis lands on his shoulder hard, there's no padding around the ring and
he's hurt bad.

WINNER:  Steve Montana -> 4:35 mins. N/A

Battle royals are not usually rated.  Frank Reid is in the ring mad about
Montana leaving six years ago and wants to set up a contract.  Reid is
taking Sage to the top.  Montana joins in the cheap shots against some old
man in a flower shirt.  Montana wants that belt shined up for him.  Come
Monday and sign a contract.  Reid says Sage can bring in more people that
you.  Montana asks who's Sage, I yell he's over there dummy.  He asks to
come in the ring with him.  We go to intermission as Reid describes the
makeup of the ring and invites the kids to inspect it.  Another interview
with Matt Taylor on what kind of match should we have for the title defense,
doesn't want a ladder match, but says he'll let the fans decide next month.
Wonder how THAT’S gonna work.  Props for the NMW show on the 30th.
Intermission is held as the cage is put up.  Doug Michaels gets in the cage
with the camera with cord, next time use a battery pack.  Matt Taylor is
still out here to commentate.

#1 Contender Cage Match
Shawn Dustry ???lbs. Macoupin, County vs. "The Irish Bomb" Douglas O'Shea
???lbs. Ireland -- Oh boy, the f-word was dropped in Dustry's entrance
music, wonder if Rick Flash will be complaining about him getting the fine
and Glinton not getting one.  Taylor shouts at Dustry not to worry about
him.  Glinton can't work the music machine right.  O'Shea screams at various
people in the crowd already.  O'Shea screams you think I'm stupid to enter
the cage?  USA chant to heckle him for stalling.  I shout ring the bell,
Doug screams who said that.  Irish whip shoulder block Dustry, shove down
Dustry and throws O'Shea in the fence.  Pickup, another toss into the fence.
Scoop Dustry throws him head first into the fence.  Taylor shouts some more
at the old man.  O'Shea's thrown into the fence again.  Forearm shot to the
back by Dustry.  Dustry chokes him with tape from his wrist.  Dustry knocks
him, toss into the fence.  O'Shea's got a rope in his hand.  Dustry kicks
away.  O'Shea is lifeless.  Shawn picks up him, O'Shea's bleeding, whip
clothesline in the corner.  Taylor wants to call the UN on Dustry, orders me
to sit down, SHUT UP TAYLOR!  Full-nelson Bubba Bomb by Dustry.  Suplex
Dustry.  Sage Ramsey comes over to guard me from Taylor.  Well if I needed
to I can use a chair to protect myself.  Whip clothesline by O'Shea.  Doug
pulls more tape from his wrist.  Taylor continues to run his mouth.  O'Shea
with a turnbuckle smash, and throws him into the fence.  Doug poses with a
bloody head.  Sloppy rollup Dustry, small package O'Shea gets two.  The
Colonel hands out flags, that's what I needed.  O'Shea with a dropkick to
the corner.  Elbow by O'Shea gets two.  Taylor wants to know why there's no
Irish flags out here.  Clothesline Dustry, pounds away.  Cameraman is on the
top rope in the corner.  Dustry whip sidewalk slam gets two.  Dustry misses
a legdrop, Reid wrongly calls ten minutes has passed when it has been seven
minutes.  O'Shea does a flying headbutt and misses, Dustry with an inverted
spinning side slam or is it a spinning back to belly slam?  It gets three!

WINNER:  Shawn Dustry pin -> 7:35 mins. **

Shawn Dustry is the #1 contender for the RCW title.  Matt Taylor sneaks in
the cage behind Dustry, pedigree by Taylor!  Taylor screams at him, throws
Dustry into the fence.  I shout you better watch out for Sage!  Taylor
sucks!  Shawn is bleeding now.  Taylor kicks Dustry out of the cage and he
falls head first.  Taylor drags Dustry to the ringside table, powerbombs
Dustry through the table!  Taylor shouts he's pathetic, he's the world
champ, Macoupin County don't forget me.  Reid says we're gonna pick the
match next month.  Show over.

Sheesh, six matches in all, two intermissions and the whole thing's over in
two hours.  A bit of a crappy show, the no shows not helping (didn't know
about them anyway so it was me going in blind), but wouldn't you know it
that the NMW guys are the ones to stand out in a crowd.  Thumbs in the
middle, leaning down.

The next Rap Sheet will cover the Intergalactic Wrestling Federation who
performed a show the next day at the IL State Fair on 8/10/2K3.

-- 
Crimefighter -- smlucas-==-flashmail.com
Co-Creator, Promised Land MUD -- http://promisedland.betterbox.net
The COMPLETE Abermud List -- http://abermud.tripod.com
STOP DEADLY EMAIL VIRUS SPAM!  GET A DEADSPAM.COM ADDRESS!


--- Internet Rex 2.29