Hi again, Daryl!  This is a continuation of my previous message to you:

DS>  The thing is...if the couple doesn't have some kind
DS>  of disagreement along the way...it's like a pressure
DS>  cooker. It will be messy when it blows!!


        Nice analogy.  If there's any disagreement which isn't acknowledged
& dealt with as it arises, the pressure tends to keep building up.  The
same is true whether or not the stuff in the cooker is visible on the
outside.  Years ago, for example, there was a guy here who claimed he &
his wife never argued about anything.  She left him shortly afterwards. 
Then I saw some remarks he made elsewhere about how glad he was to be doing
things *his* way again.  :-/



DS>  We give each other the space needed, and work with
DS>  each other...even "submitting graciously to each other".
DS>  Marriage is a two way street, of give and take...


        Makes sense to me....  :-)



DS>  and when you add disabilities into the equation, it
DS>  makes it even more important.


        Yes.  I imagine each of you makes adjustments for the other...
that's something most happily married couples probably do, but with
disabilities you have an opportunity to learn more quickly... AKA a steep
learning curve!  I'm reminded of a family we met after Nora's stroke.  One
of the girls has a rare syndrome, the net result of which is that she &
Nora get along famously... in spite of a ten-year age gap... because they
have numerous problems in common. Where such things differ the mother is
very quick on the uptake.  It required less than a minute to establish, for
example, that although a bathroom mat is
a help to her daughter it's a hindrance to Nora.  She tells me Dallas & I are
quick on the uptake too.  There's a depth to our relationship which might not
exist if we weren't paying attention & making adjustments on both sides.  :-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+